Cold weather, cold worldwide economies, cold real estate markets... baby it's cold outside!!!!

Well, when all else fails, have some fun, right? Here are a few ideas to help heat up your real estate properties that are just sitting on the market for sale or rent, and who knows? Maybe one of them would even work.

Heat It Up Idea 1:

Install a sex swing in the master bedroom. (If you really have a dark sense of humor, put it in the second largest bedroom for some teenage daughter's dad to flip out over).

Alternative: leave it in the closet and let them find it for themselves!

Heat It Up Idea 2:

Install a wet bar in the living room or finished basement, fully stocked with booze and mixers. Apologize that the beer taps haven't been installed yet.

Heat It Up Idea 3:

Transplant a few marijuana plants in the garden, and when you show the house, tell them they were leftover from a prior tenant, and you can "have it removed if you like, or if you just want to remove them yourself that's fine too..." Keep a tally of how many people want them gone immediately versus how many will "deal with it themselves."

Heat It Up Idea 4:

If your property is not in great shape and has a mold problem, when people ask about the mold splotches reply with a straight face "Oh that's not mold. That's Tareintulat, and he's from the planet Xenanthum. The greenish splotch over there is his mate, Amanda."

Heat It Up Idea 5:

Install a flat screen TV in the living room and leave a midget porno playing for when your visitors walk in. Then apologize and tell them that the last visitors weren't into the bestiality, so you had to mix it up somehow.

Happy selling and renting!