I think it's safe to say that we all want to be liked. Who doesn't want people wanting to be around them? I think of my 10 year old daughter and the funny statements she makes about being "bff's" with almost every child she plays with in the school yard.
Like many of you with kids, I often hear the stories each day about her friends. She considers them her friend because they are just like her, like the same jokes, dress like her, do the same things and they boost each other up equally by thinking they're each funny, pretty and just downright cool. It really is funny to listen to kids thiat are school age talking about friendships and being liked - it's as if it has become a contest to see who has the most friends, who's liked the most.
Don't we have a little bit of the same attitude as adults? Don't we still want to be liked?
We don't increase our likeability by being unapproachable, closed minded, unflexible, disrespectful, ignorant and acting as if we need no one.
Don't we increase our likeability by being friendly, flexible, respecting others, recognizing them, connecting with people on many levels and by simply being real?
I recently read "The Likeability Factor" by Tim Sanders. This book offers a valuable look at the four personality traits he says contribute to a person's likeability - friendliness, empathy, being real and relevance.
Here are my thoughts on how these traits can contribute to your success:
Friendliness
First impressions count. If you're seen as approachable, fun, friendly, open and knowledgeable in your field, people will seek you out. We're often drawn to people who are like us and share similar experiences so be sure you're willing to put the effort into making people comfortable around you and sharing a part of you that makes them feel you are willing to put the effort into not only your relationship with that person but the services you will be providing to them. (It doesn't hurt either to show up for appointments with your clients in professional attire - it's a great first impression.)
Empathy
Don't you feel almost an instant connection when you're having a conversation with someone and they say "me too". Time and attention are great gifts that we can give our clients. Having empathy allows you to truly listen, discover and focus on your client's needs. It builds a trust because you are genuinely concerned about them. Don't clients want someone who will work with their best interest at heart?
Being Real
Be yourself. Like yourself - how can you expect anyone to like you if you don't like you? We all have flaws, don't be someone you're not and don't be afraid to admit a mistake. Being real builds trust and encourages your readers and clients to engage with you.
Complimenting also has its place when it comes to being real and likeable. Isn't it true that whether you are the one giving the compliment or the one receiving the compliment that those words can give you an amazing lift?
I don't know about you, but when my husband tells me "wow, you look really great" or a client tells me "I love what you did" it certainly helps to lift my mood and often carries me throughout the day. It's as if those simple words give me a different attititude, a possible adjustment if needed and certainly gives me a confidence that I can tackle anything. It shows in all the interactions I have with clients and colleagues - I feel good about myself and they see it and feel it too - I'm giving them the real me, no guard up, just me.
Relevance
We like people we can get along with - don't you think our clients and readers feel this way too? This doesn't mean we have agree with everyone we come across but finding common ground while respecting that person will increase your likeability. Find and focus on the client's needs and wants. Don't make it about you. Provide relevant information that speaks to what your clients are looking for - blog about it and chat about it. Engage your clients whether in person or on line - be the same person. Think about how you would want to be treated if you were seeking the same services you are providing. Get in touch with their needs and make it about them - it will all come back to you in great ways - friendship, referrals, a lifelong client, credibility and the list goes on.
These things may seem very obvious but they take great effort on our part to make a difference in how people, our clients, see us and want to keep interacting with us. Pay attention to even just one of these areas and see what a difference it makes. Give a compliment, truly listen, pay attention, and ask genuine questions. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised with what comes your way and the difference it will make in your business and the great relationships you will build. Isn't building relationships what it's all about?
What area(s) will you be focusing on in 2009 to increase your likeability factor?
Comments (61)Subscribe to CommentsComment