Real Estate Blog - The Secret To Being Comfortable

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The Secret To Being Comfortable

I've noticed that a "handful" of people in service related industries take awhile to warm up to complete strangers that they need to work with. Not that a Realtor or Mortgage professional is unapproachable, but they fumble the opening round interchange. The secret for any who have trouble being comfortable with someone new is:

Give Something That Is Universally Accepted and Appreciated.

A cup of cocoa, coffee, or tea.

A compliment.

Laugh together at a situation or a tasteful joke. Smile.

Offer some chocolate. Other than the diabetic, who can resist chocolate?

Offer a VERY comfortable chair for someone to sit in.

Having someone be comfortable with you also involves your body language where you have a soft look focusing on the eyes, speak in a not too loud tone, are patient and don't interrupt when the other is talking and genuinely come across as a caring person.

Check out how comfortable others are around you. Can you disarm stress with a light hearted attitude or some playfulness showing you don't take this great big bad world too seriously? Do you have the gift of hospitality making others feel WELCOME? Be the host or hostest with the mostest, get people to relax. Then they will open up to you. YOU be the ICEBREAKER. DON'T LET THEM HAVE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO IT.

Posted by Gary Woltal - Associate Broker REALTOR® Dallas Ft. Worth on 01/08/2009 04:27 PM

Comments (46)

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46 Comments on The Secret To Being Comfortable

JAN

Gary - Sometimes a simple handshake looking into the eyes of a prospective customer when greeting can break the ice when you meet for the first time.

I try to be myself always. I would carry chocolate around as you suggest, but I think I would eat it before giving it away!

I have very few problems with making people feel comfortable. I think they fact that I usually feel comfortable enough to just fire away at a conversation usually pulls them into interaction. However, if people aren't comfortable, it can make for a tough experience.

Gary - maybe I should back away from those introductory tequila shooters!

Hi Gary-I think you have this down to a science. You have done exceptionally well with a HUGE iceberg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuKZNmY3YDU BLESS YOU MY FRIEND!

Hi Gary - I love it! A compliment as I recently mentioned in a post and a smile go a long way and can really put someone at ease. It also shows you're approachable and open to another person. Simple gestures and words really can make a difference to building great and lasting relationships. Like you said to me - it's a mystery why someone would choose to be unapproachable - you've given people some great sugggestions for putting themselves out there. ~Anne Marie

Great tips but what about on the phone? Then what?

Those are some great tips Gary, than you for sharing that with all of us! I hope you have a great day!

Knowing how to break the ice is important. 1st impressions are everything in our business!

Gary, I am just digging the cup of chocolate. Great way to warm up, open up a stranger.

Gary,

Hospitality is the best english word to describe the Bible meaning of LOVE...!!! Thanks, Fran

I'm sure this will come as a hugh shock to you, but I use humor to warm up to people. I'm also a big smiler.

Petra: A handshake and a smile warms them up for sure.

Ellie: At least your honest that you would eat the chocolate : )

JL: Being a natural at being comfortable is a good thing.

Mike: I fell out of the chair with the intro Tequila Shooters. You can be my comfortable bud any day.

Sharon: I specialize in HUGE ICEBERGS! ; ) Great Thank you for being a friend YouTube.

Anne Marie: Smiles and compliments go a long way in being a comfortable person.

Angelia: Just let them here your smile come through on the phone and of course be warm and speak slowly.

James: Thanks.

Bill: You don't get a second chance at a first impression.

Bo: I could use that cup myself.

Fran: I love that Bible meaning!

Susan: You can make people laugh? Serious YOU? You make them roll on the floor my dear. ; )

I am with Mike Saunders. Who doesn't like tequila?

Gary...we need to make the first move. The client is waiting to see who you are!

Hello Gary- I loved your Jacquie Lawson greeting, she is truly amazing...I especially enjoyed the bird diving into the champagne glass...LOL...thanks a bunch.

Do you ever wonder if we, as agents, try so hard to be congenial that we come across as trite...contrite...whatever...just trying too hard...and not appreciated for the sincere intention, and I'm not talking about the commission!!!

Gary ~ I usually meet people at their homes so when they open the door I have a smile on my face, say "Hi, I'm Kathy" and shake their hand.

I like to think strangers are just friend I haven't met yet. So, I try to make sure I give a good first impression, and hope the 2nd impression is a good laugh!

Okay Gary, I didn't know what I was in the mood for and then I pull up your post while sitting here with a blanket over my shoulders. I guess it will be a cup of hot chocolate for me! It's cold out and I feel the chill. So, as I enjoy - here's hoping I can hot chocolate comfort to all my clients this year!

Gary - There is no end to your delightful and creative writings. Thank you for that!

Gary - That Hot Chocolate looks great. I think I need to go make a cup now! Very good points. Do you think men have more trouble with being comfortable versus women?

So true. My husband and I went to lunch today and we were one of the first in when they opened. The manager was singing a bit and noticed us. She said "Sorry"... It took me back. Why be sorry for being happy. So that's what I told here. "It's nice to see people in a good mood and happy... Especially at work. Keep at it."

Gary, sometimes I wonder if this is a skill one can learn or not.

Gary, I've subscribed to your blog this week. You have so many wonderful, inspiring things to share, almost each and every day. Seriously, have you ever thought about writing a book (or have you already?)

Gary- I really like the blog and some hot chocolate, or any warm drink for that matter can really make anyone feel comfortable.

Gary,

These are great tips on how to break the ice. I feel there is always room for improvement when it comes to, well, anything. Including being comfortable with new clients.

If you slid me a cup of cocoa like the one in the picture it would be hard for me not to get comfortable quick.

Chatting over a Cup of Joe always seems to help everyone feel more comfortable and relaxed. The hot chocolate in your photo looks very yummy by the way!

Gary, I always give a compliment first about them in some way as it really breaks the ice for them. Chocolate......don't get me started this late at night on it. Another great post.

JAN

GARY

I too believe in listening to others intently. Coffee has really made a big come back with all the flavors and is a great way to ease into a conversation

Gary - great post! I love coffee meetings....they give you something to do with your hands - one hand steadies the cup and the other takes notes! Most of my meetings are virtual ones (telemeetings or video conference), but occasionally I do get out for an actual face to face.

Gary this is a post after my own heart and you've managed to do a fine job of breaking the ice in this conversation as you always do - not sure how you knew I'd be stopping by but very hospitable to have that lovely warm mocha.... spiked with espresso on the table :) thanks for the break. now back to work :)

People tell me the most amazing things and my husband a retired cop has that unique talent too. It's just who we are I think, sometimes, like on vacation when we are trying to relax it can be challenging but mostly we like people and it's a good thing.

Oh Gary, I DO know how to make Cowboys feel comfortable!! Not always with chocolate, but the whipped cream comes in handy.

Thanks for the creative way you make very important points. Great post as always.

Hi Gary:

Comfortable is a word that I use on a daily basis with my customers!

If they're not comfortable, then I'm not comfortable...

ToulaRosebrock.com - DianeTurton.net

Gary - I'm not sure how I do it exactly, but I have a way of 'disarming' people and if they don't laugh, they will certainly scratch their head and wonder what happened. LOL

One thing is certain in this world - there are no strangers, only friends we haven't met yet.

Gary, I believe some folks have a natural ability to make people feel comfortable at home, and others have to really work hard at it. On my first meet up with a potential client, I am just trying to build trust and get to know them. Who you are in real life overflows into your business relationships. Being open and warm goes a long way in starting the process.

Gary--Sometimes a smile at the right time just takes the edge of the situation. Good thoughts to start the day....Thanks!

Good tips Gary. Sometimes I take a bit to warm up to strangers myself so I think I will try out your suggestions. Thanks for the ideas. kM

I am so wanting a cup of hot cocoa right now. When I meet potential clients in my office, I always ask them if they'd like something to drink. If it's 90 degrees in the shade, I'll bring in glasses of ice water to the conference room and place them in front of the chairs before my clients show up. I also set copies of the material I am going to give them in front of their spots. It makes them feel welcome and expected. Inviting a client into my office is no different, in some ways, than inviting a friend into my home, and being a gracious host never goes out of style.

Gary: I am the ultimate icebreaker. Humor is my tool of choice. I never take anything too seriously, and often use myself as the butt of jokes. Self-deprecating humor lets people know you don't think of yourself as above them.

Hi Gary, It has been 9 days since i have been active here and sort of have an excuse if one is needed but i save that for a post.

This is some great advise and it should be a conscious change that people make. We are in too big of hurry heading in directions we don't always know. Seems to me that slowing down and making the journey more enjoyable by bringing others along would be a good change. Making others feel comfortable is also an art but it is one that everyone can learn. Its starts with sincerity and sincere desire to do so. Life will change right before your eyes. Especially if being happy with the way others respond to you is meaningful.

Another great point! I worked as a cashier at a grocery store while in college. This was a great place for me to learn how to make conversation with strangers, and that has come in handy in my RE career.

JAN

Some people are naturals at this.

Patricia Aulson/ Hampton NH Real Estate

JAN

Good suggestion Gary. You are right about the chocolate too-who can refuse it? Good blog......

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