Warning:  This article may contain material of a violent or graphic nature.  

West Melbourne, Florida -The dog problem at Buzz Wilson's 1742 Azalea St. listing has been resolved, but the legal problem replacing it may cost Mr. Wilson his real estate license.

Wilson, broker for Fun Shine Realty Inc., was arrested Sunday on charges of animal cruelty and resisting arrest while urinating in public.

According to neighbors, Wilson appeared at the Azalea home at 12:00 pm, after placing open house signs and balloons at strategic intersections near the neighborhood. The sellers of the home, Bobby and Raylene Platt, were out of town for the day.

According to neighbors, Wilson got out of his car with a fist full of flyers, fixed his dangling "For Sale" sign, which had come loose from an 'S' hook, then proceeded up the Platt's cracked and stained sidewalk to the front door.

While trying his key in the front door, neighbors reportedly heard Wilson shouting obscenities at the two barking Platt dogs who, according to a source at Fun Shine Realty, "bark like banshees 24/7."

Neighbors claim the dogs continued to bark until about 1:00 pm, at which time things got "eerily silent."  According to sources, no one showed up for the Open House and Wilson was seen locking up the house around 4:00 pm.

The Platt's returned home at approximately 7:30 pm and shortly thereafter Mrs. Platt was seen running out of the house in her flowered housecoat screaming "they stuffed my babies, they stuffed my babies, oh my god they stuffed my babies!"

Investigators allege that Mr. Wilson killed the Platt dogs with Mrs. Platt's largest Ginsu knife (guaranteed for life and known as the ‘Sharpest Knife on the Market‘), cut their heads off with a meat saw Mr. Platt keeps on the kitchen counter during deer season, sewed their lips back with a curved upholstery needle into a grisly, toothy ‘grin' and proceeded to mount the heads on the living room wall, directly above the television.

Wilson was quoted as saying "The dogs actually enhance the decor in that dump. I don't know what the big deal is. At least they died with a smile on their face."

(Note: This article is dedicated to Mike Saunders (Keller Williams Realty - Greater Athens) who helped inspire this story. Thanks, Mike for unblocking my writer's block!)

Disclaimer: This "News Item" was written by Ralph the real estate dog.  It is a work of (comic relief) fiction. Only the MLS photo is real. Any resemblance between the characters, persons or Realtors® is purely coincidental.