Yesterday started out as usual, eviction hearing followed by a couple of meetings.  One eviction dismissed, one granted and one negotiated out.  The "negotiated" tenant ended up paying all the back rent, this month rent (May) and needs to move out by the end of the month.  If he doesn't I get to set him out on June 1.  I'm not all that smart, but I'd bet he would have been able to negotiate that one without the attorney he also paid for !

Out to the new adventure I now go to inspect a unit for bedbugs along with 2 Orkin supervisors and generally oversee a roach treatment on 40 units.

As I am generally supervising (something I do with a certain style), I notice 2 individuals that looked out of place in the area.  It must have been the clean clothes and full sets of teeth.  Anyway, they are nosing around with a machine I now call the "gas sniffer".  I was calling it the "men's room attendant" in my mind at first, but revisited the decision when the sniffer holder didn't give me a stick of gum at the end of the conversation.

I knew there was a problem when the sniffer holder said that we had 67% L.I.L and an acceptable level was 5%.  What I didn't know at the time was the real level of problem I had.  Next thing I know, the Columbia Gas supervisor is shutting off the gas to my building.  Not really mine, but one that I am dealing with for the courts.  

Apparently I dunn got a leak in the gas main.  It is near the building.  There is a risk of a big BOOM.

No problem.  I'll call Clive and get it fixed.  NOT.

The gas lines were run about 40 years ago.  If they are ever shut down for any reason, they need to be upgraded to today's standards.  Whodathunk?  That's gunna take about 2-3 weeks and cost between $12,000 and $25,000 depending on a few factors.  I'll actually get a final report on those factors tomorrow, but it includes the gas company actually running some of the new lines.  This, believe it or not, is the fastest part.

Did I mention the 20 +/- families living in the complex (without gas)?  No heat, cold showers and cold dinner is in the future for some folks, unfortunately.

That was yesterday afternoon late in the day.  This morning we have determined that there is nothing we can do to get the gas turned back on now and the true timeline is at least 2 weeks.  Knowing this, we send written notice to all of the tenants about the status, tell them that we are going to abate the rent for the month (take the rent money and use it for pizza and showers at the truck stop) and that if they want to move out, we will not hold them to the lease.  Of course, this is all we can do but, of course, it is not enough.

Now the calls start. They included the following:

• Them - You didn't give me any notice that the gas was being shut off.  Us - Uh, it was an emergency shut off, conducted by the gas company and we had nothing to do with it.  Them - You needed to give me notice.  Us - NEXT
• Them - We're gunna Sue.  Us - Who is Sue?  She's not on the lease!  NEXT
• Them - You need to pay for my hotel room.  Us - Use the rent money you aren't paying to us.  Oh, you weren't going to pay it even if you had gas?  NEXT
• Hey, remember the first part where I was fashionably supervising the roach treatment????  This is my all time favorite.  It had nothing to do with the gas.  The tenant who has no lease, has not paid rent in 2 months, is under eviction and has a 2 foot alligator as a pet is upset that her ‘gator is sick.  According to her, I made it sick when I treated the apartment for roaches.  Yep, you guessed it.  The roaches she was complaining about.  Apparently the chemical that we sprayed in the closet can make gators sick.  I have 2 points on this.  1. There is a no pet clause in the lease you don't have and are not paying on.  2. Keep the ‘gator that you are not supposed to have out of the closet.

Side note here:  I called the Ohio Dpt of Wildlife to report the people and the unlicensed exotic animal. (They play their games, I play mine.)  According to DOW, having an alligator as a pet is not an issue the State of Ohio is worried about since ‘gators are not indigenous to Ohio.

Hearing this, Melissa tells me that is a great answer and one that we will use to our benefit if anyone complains about the elephant she just ordered from India.

Anyone want to buy a thriving business in Columbus Ohio?