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YEO: Leave Your Children Out Of It

The most amazing thing happened with my family yesterday. But you won't be clearly seeing their beautiful, happy faces here on ActiveRain. And you won't see the names of my children in one of my posts... anywhere.

project blogger logo Yesterday, the adoption of our two little girls was formally and officially finalized. It was a joyous day for our family, as you can imagine. We took the boys out of school and we drove to Monterey Park to Children's Court. You can read my wife's recount here.

Last night I sent a photo to select friends and family. Ines Hegedus-Garcia was one of them. We have become fast friends over the past few months and often communicate outside of ActiveRain. Ines gave me permission to share part of our email conversation with you. I think it's important.

Ines: "CONGRATULATIONS! What awesome news and I feel honored that you would share this beautiful photo with me. You have an absolutely gorgeous family and your smiles are so contagious (I see you have "truck boy" in your arms)."
Me: "LOL, yes, that is Truck Boy. We don't share photos of our children in our blog posts. I may write about why."
Ines: "I've hesitated in the past about posting photos of my kids and have broken all the rules. I know it's a safety issue. I know I shouldn't write their names either. I may go back to my posts now and start deleting names (which are in comments). I take for granted that some people are malicious and that there are perverts out there. I think you should write the post to drive it in and make a lot of us change our ways. See? you have not even written it and I'm going back and making changes."
Me: "I think I will write it. It's important."

Am I Being Too Cautious?

Maybe. I'm a very trusting person, normally, but this time I'm going to err on the side of caution. I've told Julie Ferenzi that transparency on Living In Plainfield stops with her children. Both my wife and I have encouraged her NOT to include photos of her children and to use nicknames when referring to her children in posts. That's my advice to everyone. Why?

My wife spends a good portion of her free time researching and writing for her Mothers Fighting For Others blog. Julie is a writer on that blog as well. What my wife finds in her Internet travels is disturbing and easier and easier to find. The Internet has made it easier for the world to find us as well. It would be wonderful if everyone in the world were coming to our pages with good intentions, but it's simply not the case.

family pixelated Predators stalk elementary schools and parks every day. They use confidence ploys to lure children into cars and bushes and bathrooms. If you think for one second that they wouldn't use the intimate knowledge you provide about your young children to gain their confidence, you are wrong.

Think about it. Why do you really need to see my kids or know their names? I'm open about enough about my family. I share our stories. And many have asked in comments to see photos. I really wish I could. I'm a proud father and I love this online community.

There are just too many sick people in this world.

This morning I wrote a post on my Stop Child Slavery blog. It's about a brutal stoning in the middle east. I have no idea who will read it or who may be offended by it. I've received hate comments in the past on that blog. The most recent in comments on child slavery and the middle class in India. I won't be silent. I can't be silent. But I can be careful to protect my children to the greatest degree possible.

Can anyone find me if they really try? Just look under my name on the right. It clearly says Santa Clarita, CA. Of course someone could find me. But they won't be able to lure my child with a casual, "Hey, 'Johnny!' How is your little sister, 'Susie?' How was your birthday last week? Great. Sorry I missed it. Your dad told me to come get you and bring you home." ... I refuse to make it that easy for them.

You're going to have to just imagine that my kids are beautiful in spite of the enlarged pixels in the photo here, because they are. And know that when my wife and I refer to our youngest as "The Freakishly Small One" it is a term of endearment that goes well beyond a cute nickname. It is our way of protecting her.

It's a personal choice and some top bloggers don't make the same choice. Dooce is the perfect example. But, she breaks all the rules. Heather is one of my favorite writers and she takes sharing her personal life to a whole different level. It's her choice and I respect it. But I strongly encourage you to consider making your small children off limits.

Ines: "I just went back and deleted a bunch of comments with names but I think I made a boo boo! How do I take it back? Tell Rocky she has a lot to teach me! I cringe with the thought of something happening because of a dumb post. I make a pact with you not to do it again. ...and to make up nicknames.

Posted by Jeff Turner on 05/03/2007 06:25 AM

Comments (75)

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Originally posted at: Turner's Perspective: YEO: Leave Your Children Out Of It

75 Comments on YEO: Leave Your Children Out Of It

MAY

2007

This is excellent advice Jeff! I really never thought of it in these terms, but it makes complete sense.

Thanks Ana. I hesitated on writing this, thinking that I'd be seen as a fear monger. It's not my goal. I'm an extremely positive and optimistic person by nature. When I called Ines to get her permission, I mentioned my fear. She said that she had seconds thoughts each time she mentioned her kids names in posts or comments. She then encouraged me to write this again.

Thanks, Ines. I'm glad I did.

Jeff

Congratulations to one and all regarding the adoption(s) being finalized. I positively agree with your reasoning behind protecting the images and privacy of your children. Your good friend, Ed

Jeff- This is really great advice. I do not post pictures of my daughter, and have not ever used her name for the same reasons you provide. I know a lot of agents that remove pictures of children when they are taking pictures of a listing for the same reason.

Yes unfortunately we live in a day and age where information is power and can be used against our families. I could easily see the scenario you described if your personal details were published for the world to see. Thanks for the heads up. I'm sure the parents here on AR (and beyond since it is a public post) will appreciate your advice.

Jeff,

I think you are right on in regards to sharing too much personal info, especially about your kids. If you want to do that, you can easily get a blog and make it private only to the people you choose, then post away.

Fran

Interesting...I would have never thought freaks were lurking on Active Rain. Luckily, I don't have any kids to talk about...lol

Jeff - all I have to say is THANK YOU - I will go back and blur all the faces and will ask people to remove their names: They are officially "the oldest" "the middle one" and "the little one" - until I come up with something better. I am so glad you wrote this and hope others don't make the same mistake I have. (please also thank Rocky for me)

Ed, Allison, Debi, Fran... thank you.

Tony... I don't have a clue who is lurking on ActiveRain. I know the members, but not the lurkers. That's part of the problem.

Ines... thank you for encouraging me to write it.

Jeff.. you are on target, as always. I thought the same thing today before i saw this post and changed some names to protect the little ones. well, sadly enough, i have my concealed permit now, and i'm over protective. my home and street are filed 24/7 via web cams. I wish i was as big a man as you are. i wanna be like you when i grow up. :) i applaud your contribution dude,.. er uh Sir dude..

and a big, huge, GINOURMOUS congrats on the officialness of your endeavor!! your family must be on cloud 9. :)) bless you all.

Hi, Jeff!!! Congratulations!!! You have a BEAUTIFUL family, even pixilated! ;o) (Love how you pixilated the judge, too -- can't be too careful!)

You know I have Tall One and Little One. There is just no reason to give their names or current pictures of them. I have shown pictures of them around the age of two. They're now 14 and 9 so I don't think those old pictures would help anyone pick them out of a crowd. I don't mention their schools or any activities.

Nick called me this morning (thanks, Nick!!!) :oD and we talked briefly about this, too. There are a few of you here that know my kids names because they've come up in conversation outside of AR. I trust you guys, but not those faceless strangers. There's too much at stake.

Great topic, Jeff.

Congratulations on the finalization of your adoptions. Both my daughters are adopted and I remember those court dates as two of the happiest days of my life...probably second only to the first time they placed those beautiful babies in my arms.

I'm an open book in my posts but will never show my children or say their names. It's unfortunate that we must be so untrusting in our society but if we don't protect our children, who will?

Great post Jeff, I hope everyone takes your advice. Enjoy those precious little girls!!

Hey Jeff- Cute kids! I can read body language so I don't need to see their faces to see how cute and happy they are. :-)

Fear mongering? Oh I think it's a good idea to monger some fear when kids are involved. Like you said- why make it easy for someone to take advantage? I might be in the minority here, but transparency in real estate ends at my front door.

I've already decided no personal stuff at all about my most precious humans on my very hyper-local blog- none. Seriously. As in "kids? What kids?" And very general stuff here. No one I do business with needs to know anything about my kids before we decide to do business together, and even then, I rarely discuss my kids with clients. I can express myself and share my personality and be a great real estate agent without bringing my kids into it. That might sound harsh, but I've got babies to protect.

When you are working- work. When you are home, be home. They don't have to mix.

Jeff- I see now I forgot to put in a point that I really wanted to-

CONGRATS on the adoption finalization!! That must be a big sigh of relief. You have a lovely family!!

Nick... you crack me up. Don't ask me why. I can't wait to meet face to face one day.

Sarah... I thought of you as I wrote this post with tall one and small one. Love it!

Melody... you are SO right. It was a joyous day and one we won't ever forget. Thank you!

Teri... I applaud your decision. And you're so right, they don't have to mix for people to connect with you. (Sound of applause here.)

Debi... thank you!

Geesh, I have to admit, I never even thought of this! Very creepy. I have some unposting to do myself, thanks for the tip.

Jeff: Congratulations to you and your wife. Those are two lucky little girls, I can tell. Your post is smart and timely. It is simply a safety issue and, as intelligent people, we know who is out there. We go through our lives wanting to believe everyone is just like we are......but, sadly, they are not. Lovely family, great post!

Good job, Jeff. I think this was always in the back of my mind, but this makes it clear. Thanks.

Jeff - First off Congrats on the "officialness" with your family. People like you and your wife should be praised for stepping "outside the box" and making a difference. And rest assured by those smiling faces you see everyday... you did. One person can make a difference... I can honestly say that was a thought as a kid ... generations before us kinda said "nahh to big a problem, just stay out of it". I can still remember a defining monument for me was watching "Schindler's Llist" and just thinking how HUGE that was. Unfortunately the impact that that one man had on the entire world he will never know.

Thanks for sharing... aside from that.. I totally agree about the predator factor on line and most don't realize they might be putting themselves and their families at risk with simple innocent web posts.

Have a great night... now I am thinking I want to see that movie again... oh and anyone who hasn't seen the movie... its a must see...

Geez... I am really on babble mode... sorry

Congratulation on the new addition to your family, I am sure they well bring you much joy.

I too believe in keeping pictures of loved one out of our post, I always keep in mind that not everyone is nice.

Jeff~ I'm so excited about your finalized adoption...heartfelt congrats! My husband was adopted from Korea when he was a baby and grew up in Woodland Hills, so its decision that is close to my heart.

I also commend you for bringing this subject to the forefront~ I will go back over posts and make sure I didn't mention anything too revealing. It is sooo scary out there!

Jeff, I am so happy for you and Rocky and the children. Yesterday must have been an awesome day. Well lucky for TLW and I are kids are 31, Marines and huge. We have posted photos of our Grand kids but they are no where near us. My AR photo is fake. I'm really 5'3 blond and female.

I don't think you are being a fear monger at all. Always better to be safe than sorry.

Jeff - I never post the names or pic of my kids either. It just doesn't feel right. I did make one exception on the comments of one of your blogs but all the kids were disguised. ;)

Jeff - Congrats on this special occasion and also thanks for the insight - I wouldn't have thought of it before and I love the examples like tall one and little one. I'll need to review things too. I'm really happy for you and your family.

MAY

2007

Jeff - How wonderful to hea r of your adoption. That is a real blessing for your family. We can't be too careful with our children. It is soooo easy to say things without thinking about how much impact it "could" have on ourselves down the road.

Jeff,

Wonderful news about your adoption being finalized. I'm sure yesterday was a very special day for your family. And yes, I absolutely agree that it is better to safe on the cautious side.

Congratulations on your adoptions! Wonderful news....It's scary what you point out here. My kids are older now, but I never would have thought twice about writing about them before...I guess I'm lucky that they were young before blogging became popular!

Jeff,

No question in my mind of the soundness of your reasoning. It only takes one individual with bad intentions to put your family in jeopardy. Great information to share with the community.

Congratulations on your growing family.

Jeff...Comgratulations on finalizing the adoption. That is fantastic. In terms of "being cautious", I could not agree with you more. It's a different world we live in now than the one we grew up in. Keep them safe.

Best regards...Jay

wow, I never even thought of it. I have my kids on my site I will go and edit photos and names. I am a bit sick at the thought people would go looking for my kids because I posted them within community events. How sad the worldhas come to this. Thank you and Congrats on the family.

Jeff: Congrats on the adoption! Regarding kid photos, I'm with you 100%. I don't believe that you're a fear monger ... quite some time ago I wrote a post on being a 'paranoid grandma' so I'm with you all the way. The problem is not confined to just AR or our web sites. All photos make their way to Google Images. I don't want to see my granddaughter's photos there for some sicko to right-click and PhotoShop.

Good post!

Very good advice I would never put pictures of my child on any website. It is just too dangerous of a place. It would be wonderful if we could all share our families without care and worry of some wack job preying on them

You are absolutely right! We might sometimes forget that potential clients and other agents may not be the only ones seeing our online posts. I'm going to change the "about" page on my website before the day is over. Thanks for sharing, and CONGRATULATIONS on your new family.

Ha ! I agree. I would not put my children on my blog. My son is on St. Paul real estate today because it is his 24th birthday. I don't worry too much about putting his picture out there. With my daughter, also in her 20's it is a different story.

{SVW Hubba}...

Everytime I look at the pic I start thinking that we should adopt a child ourselves. Blog Boy says "NO"...I guess our boys wore him out :)

You've hit one point here that I had not thought of. The using of personal info about our kids to gain their trust is something that had not occured to me.

Geez. You'd think that in my particular situation I would have thought of that. Thank you for pointing it out.

P.S. I am a Short...Fat...Bald Woman. SVW.

TLW...ROAR!

Jeff, First, Congrats on your wonderful family celebration. This is one area that I thought I had been cautions but your email made me double check and I have already found 3 things I need to change. And I better do it quick before my wife kicks my butt!

Jeff I absolutely agree with you.

Many are naive and think protecting their children, in blogs, is, somehow, living in a bubble or in fear and refuse to be put in that position...with the outcome of refusing to protect the identity of their children.

If someone sees your children and takes a liking to one, they can easily go on line to find out your personal information. They can easily find the blogs, that's why we blog, looking for intimate details like the children's names.

The fact is, despite what we teach our children, if a stranger knows their name they are likely to trust them and think they are not a stranger. It has been prooven(sp) time and again.

I pointed out in someone else's blog a while back; you wouldn't write about a friend without their permission to use their personal info, who are we to do it to our children/grandchildren. They are not mature enough to understand the inherent danger of the Internet and the predators on it and in the neighbourhood, to give their consent to post about them. I used plural there. Predators. We don't have at the most, one predator in our individual neighbourhoods we have multiple.

There are everywhere, including AR. That is life. We street proof our children, but then let our guard down and tell the world the intimate details of our wee ones. Blows me away.

If someone wants to talk about their children in their blogs, my advice is to use an alias and refrain from posting pictures of them. How difficult is that?

My opinion.

I agree with your completely. I do a lot of volunteer mediation work and I can tell you that this fear comes up alot -- and unfortnately, as you point out -- the internet can be misused by some to take advantange of our children! Keep the kids picutures and their names off the internet and keep them safe.

Jeff - I want to tell you that I went a step further with this. My oldest son (see I'm learning) asked why I was removing their names from all the posts since they already know not to trust anyone they don't know, and we have roled played with different scenarious sooo many times. So this gave me an opportunity to role play some more using our business and blog info and playing devil's advocate. When we were done, they totally got it and I feel like a weight is off my shoulders. THANKS AGAIN!!

Jeff ~ your post is a very wise one indeed. I totally agree with you, we need to be protective of our children. For many years I have felt we also need to protect the children who live in the homes we list. I refuse to photograph kid's rooms in my visual tours. Why give a predator a clue which house has kids? It just isn't necessary for me to do.

Good post, thanks so much for bringing it up.

Wow am I glad Ines encouraged me to write this post. There's no possible way for me to respond to everyone here, but I do want to address a couple of comments.

Ines... you're kids are wise beyond their years. What a great idea to re-role play with them using the blog content. Thank you for allowing me to share our email conversation.

Kristal... I like your idea of NOT showing the kids rooms. Very smart.

Great post and advice. It's amazing what is available out there and you bring up some excellant points. Pleae don't stop speaking.

Larry... I don't plan on it. :)

Jeff: I agree with you 100% and completely. You have blogged about walking to get donuts with your kids but failed to disclose their ages or post their pictures. I was actually surprised that Raquel let us in yesterday (congrats!) but she gave very limited information ~ perfect!

I do drop tidbits around about my children and have posted a photo here and there but when I work with my internet based clients they ask if I have children. It isn't easy to find them around these parts! In no way will I pimp them out for monetary gain. I am way too protective of a mom to do that.

My husband's sister was abducted here in las vegas when she was 13 and very bad things happened to her and she was dropped in the desert. My husband and I were just 19 & barely married when this happened. It was a nightmare. She is absolutely lucky to be alive today. I am over protective but still want them to have their freedom. Smothering is not good, behaving practically is. It's too bad I had to sit them down at a young age (at 7 & 9) and go into detail to tell them why I am the way I am and why they need to act the way I expect them to act.

Hi Jeff,

Thanks for this post. My wife is always very cautious when it comes to sharing photos of the kids. Like you I'm very proud of them and is always tempting to show off how great they are but the world is what it is and the pictures stay with the family.

Cheers,

Mario

Your points are well made. This is ONLY my thinking, but names are only a part of it. The predators will do things with the cute, dance and gym class pictures that don't only touch the photo image in spirit.

I have a friend who is reluctant to post the gymastics photos that her clients want on their website.

Jeff - I also don't post photos on-line. Kevin and I have had disagreements about this over the years. I just think it's dangerous, especially since we have our phone numbers everywhere.

Congrats on your adoption. I just wrote about May being National Foster Care Month (don't know if you fostered first or went another route). We have had 14 foster kids over the years and Illinois' state law is that we can't publish their picture without court approval. I think that's to protect them from being exploited or being found by family. We hope to adopt our 9 month old by year's end. Many happy wishes to your growing family. Sherry

Congratulations on the successful adoption. I am sure this is a proud moment for your family.

As far as this issue of not mentioning your kids name, I would have to slightly disagree. And before I am crucified, I would like to qualify my reasons.

I grew up a military brat. I lived and travelled in some really interesting places. Alot of these places had subversives operating in close proximity and American servicemembers and their dependents were always targets.

From about 5th grade on up we received briefings and seminars at least once or twice a month at our Department of Defense Schools on personal safety, terrorist methods, and being aware of our surroundings. Threats were always present, so, even as kids, we needed to just be a little more aware.

Situations occassionally occured that we felt were not the safest and we avoided them and limited our risk exposure. Why? Because we were taught to.

My point?

Kids aren't always as helpless and naiive as we like to think. Sometimes to really help our children, we don't need to shelter them. We need to teach them.

I am not saying that this instance qualifies, but, sometimes we can go overboard about little things that really are rare or don't matter and yet leave the safety front door wide open.

I like to be an optimist, but, I am also a realist. Reality says that these pedophiles and perverts commit crimes of convenience and ease. They prey on targets that they can predict and know that they can have easy access to.

If someone is lurking online to watch your conversation and put together tidbits about what your kids names are, what city you live in, and what park they are going to be playing soccer at, or other innocuous details, then your kids are not the REAL target. In that case someone is generally targeting YOU, the adult and your kids are just the method used to get to you. Either you are a high profile person or they have a specific grudge against you. For reference look up the Lindbergh baby case.

I would be more concerned about who my kids' friends are and thier parents and where they are hanging out. I would be more concerned with whether they are online for extended periods of time. Do they know who to go to in an emergency? What neighbor can we trust if for some reason we can't be home when the kids come home?

Another important thought is this: Why should we live in a state of paranoid fear?! Because we have a small percentage of our population that are deranged and sick, the majority should conduct ourselves out of fear? I don't think so.

I spent almost 10 years in the Marines and served a combat tour. Too many men and women have sacrificed to give us the right to live free. Free from tyranny and oppression and free from fear. I refuse to give up that right so easily over these sick and warped individuals. Does this mean we should blindly ignore it? No. But, do not succomb to it either.

Educate your kids. Work with them. They will surprise you at how much they can understand. You cannot be with them at all times. What will happen when you aren't there? If all you have done is to shelter them, then they are exposed and in grave danger if you or another responsible person is not there to shelter them.

We can't protect them by just sheltering them. If that is the case, then we should not allow them Pop Warner football. There is a serious potential for injury. Little league baseball could get them beaned in the head. We shouldn't allow them to conduct experiments in science class. They could get injured by chemicals.

So, how do we avoid injuries in these common, but, hazardous situations? We train them and we have rules they are taught to follow. What more than with there own personal safety? Why can't we train them to be cautious and be safe instead of completely altering our lives over a small number of these vermin of society?

Again, I will state, if people don't want to put their kids names out or want to blur their faces....that's ok. It's your right to do. I just want to present a different thought and point of view.

Jeff, Great call on this post... I used to name my kids and throw their photos on RCG on a regular basis, but I definitely stopped doing that a while back... As with all things "internet", once it is out there, it is *impossible* to take back that information. If I was to do-over, I would definitely never use my kids photos and/or give their real names. Chalk it up to a learning experience that I hope never comes back to haunt me.

Jeff, congratulations on the additions to your family. I used to work for an adoption agency, and I know that the only thing more emotional than buying a house is adopting a child.

I admire your stand for your children's safety, though I am one that chooses to occasionally blog about my children, and include photos. I do so with caution, however, and as they approach school age, my style may change.

My first call I received from a prospect actually mentioned that she decided to call me because she liked what I said about my twins in my AR profile. She liked the fact that I had been a stay-at-home dad and she felt comfortable bringing her young daughter along on showings with me as a result. Children can be Rainmakers, to be certain, but there can also be dangerous predators lurking out in the blogosphere, so your points are well taken. Much food for thought.

Jeff,

That is great advice. I have not put pictures of my son on the internet. I will definitely be very cautious. Thanks for the post.

What the heck kind of society have we built, that this is a topic of conversation??? Scary to think about, and I need to do better with keeping back information that isn't necessary. Thanks for the thought-provoking post.

Congratulations on the additions to your family! I really admire you, because from what I've seen, you live what you believe, and you walk the walk instead of just talk. You've opened my eyes to things happening outside of my little bubble and I think some of those same traits will make you a great parent. Your children will know to do the right thing and will contribute to society.

I agree with Kristal and don't use photos indicating there are children in the house. In fact, I've become a bit outspoken in our community, especially when a local agent put photos OF THE CHILDREN in the house, on the MLS! Two other moms raised Cain and they got taken down, but the liability was frightening.

A few times I have mentioned my teenagers, by name and I guess I probably shouldn't have. When they were little it would have never happened.

As an adoptee myself, I thank you for making room in your life for those little critters. When they're older they'll have an appreciation for what their parents did for them. Way to go, Jeff!

Congratulations on your adoptions! What lucky children!

You can blog ABOUT your children without giving their names or photos.

Be careful as well about posting photos of schools, playgrounds, etc where you show children.

Jeff - how about another blog post showing people the easiest way to blur faces on photos and shows?

CONGRATS!!!

Sending you many blessings for you and your family!

You ARE changing the world....one minute, one place, one person at a time.

Congrats Jeff, and very smart of you not to give out too much info on those precious gifts you have. You're very right, there are too many perverts out there that would jump on the chance to use your words to get to your children. We have to protect them at all costs!

Congratulations to you, Jeff. You must be thrilled beyond words. And no, you are not being a fear monger or overly cautious. I have seen a number of articles recently on this very issue and the awareness for all parents needs to be raised. The problem may be that you cannot just erase everything that has been written in the past, so the best approach is to avoid it altogether. Some information does NOT need to be shared via the Internet. We have the traditional means of doing that with people we really care about and who should be in the know.

Jeff

Between Debbie White's comment and Kristal's, it occurred to me the number of agents who post photos of their clients - sometimes with kids - in their testimonials standing in front of their new home holding a SOLD sign. Often the home's address will be given or at least a neighborhood. However, it wouldn't be hard to obtain an address even if one isn't given.

Now I'm going to go and remove the photos of the kid's rooms.

I think you are right. Share them with people you know and then you can feel a little safer. I don't necessarily want everyone in town even to know my children by sight, let alone everyone on the net.

Firstly congratulations to both of you!

I agree when it comes to our children it is better to be safe than sorry...

Jeff. I am so excited for you that i had to come back to congratulate you and your family again!! (yes, my love is quite overbearing sometimes).. so anyway, i was thinking about the 'big' picture,. life, it's purpose and all that good stuff. and although it may sound silly, i really love my turtle,. and i cant tell you about my 'international' dog that has been in 3 countries!! kids.. wow!! 6 of them.. well, i'm still trying to wrap my head around that. so, CONTGRATS again.

ps. should i give code-names to nick, little nicky and myself.. ? should i be worried? ;) i'll have to ask them what they prefer :))

later top gator

Jeff, we all need to be reminded that "we aren't in Kansas anymore". There are so many crazys around. Just last year a little girl that was playing outside with a friend was abducted and her body was found off of the Ortega Hwy. The man worked minutes from us in safe little Temecula, CA. The Internet allows so much anonymity that we forget about.

My youngest is also adopted and I know the excitement of the finalization. My only regret was that we didn't adopt again!

Excellent advice. I couldn't agree more. I am going to check my stuff to see if I've made that mistake unknowingly.

I have no children, but if I did, I wouln't put anything about them on the web, blog, etc. In this day we can't do enough to protect the children. It's pretty scary...

I have agree .. protect your children. They are precious.

You only have to watch the news to see how much the world has changed.

WOW.

Never thought about it that way. I have a family photo on my profile but that's it.

I see the concern.

I talk about my girls, Hortense and Grineldahyde all the time. LOL No pictures though.

Congrats on the adoption. And I did go to your "stop child slavery" link you had posted and ohmygosh.... I probably won't rest easy tonight either. What is wrong with people? We are so blessed.

Jeff excellent information. When my son was born last october i had his picture up on my profile page and i took it down as a precaution. The "stop child slavery" link was very eye opening, thanks for sharing.

Eddy

Jeff, as the adoptive parent of two children I really do know the feeling of when they are finally FINALIZED! Congratulations to you and your wife and the wonderful family you've created. I have NEVER posted pictures of my children, though they are grown now and on MySpace and all kinds of things....it's a very wise decision! Congratulations again on your family.

Good job Jeff

MAY

2007

Jeff, you make some GREAT points. There was a post here earlier in the week about this topic but there was no explanation of why it's such a bad idea to use pictures of our kids. Your post clarified that for me and I've got some things to consider now. Thank goodness I haven't used their pictures or names to this point. Thanks for making me think!

Ryan... I'm so glad I could provide you and others with good examples.

Everyone... again, thank you for your comments on this issue and for your congratulatory remarks. They are all very much appreciated.

MAY

2007

Johnnie Taylor... I did not acknowledge your excellent comments above. You wrote: "I would be more concerned about who my kids' friends are and thier parents and where they are hanging out. I would be more concerned with whether they are online for extended periods of time. Do they know who to go to in an emergency? What neighbor can we trust if for some reason we can't be home when the kids come home?"

Johnnie, I'm concerned about all of that and more as well. Thank you for adding those comments!

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