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Failure is not only an option, it is a necessity

By
Real Estate Agent with Homesmart

Not only is failure always an option, it is often the best one. 

Weightlifters will tell you that taking sets to failure, that point where you can no longer perform additional repetitions with good form due to muscular fatigue, is the path to increased strength and growth.

Shrewd businessmen will tell you that they seldom lament the deals they didn’t do.  Rather, the ones that got away, where there was a breakdown somewhere in the process, are often saving graces.  The failure to come to terms on ill-advised transactions saving them from future losses and aggravation.

In general, failure is the spawning ground of greatness.  There would be no need to improve without first tasting its bitter flavor.  What means do we have of fulfilling true potential in the absence of the adversity that draws it out into the open?  That challenges us to overcome the dreaded specter of defeat?

Too many times in my early life, I shied away from even participating in arenas where I didn’t immediately excel.  Or more to the point, didn’t believe I would immediately excel.  I feared failure.  I feared the ultimate revelation that even my best would prove inadequate to the chosen task. 

I still do to a degree. 

I like to write.  Until a year and some months ago, it was just another curio placed on a shelf of personal regrets.  With the standard methods of attracting new business beginning to languish with the sharp market downturn, however, I was forced to step outside of my comfort zone to secure new streams of potential buyers and sellers.  I began to actually write for an audience, opening myself up to the scrutiny and criticism that I previously avoided.

Lo and behold, I found a receptive readership in addition to new business.

I temporarily failed, I adapted and I rediscovered a lost love in the process.  Now, my business is steadily picking up while that of all too many colleagues continues to stagnate.

For those who are hanging onto their careers by the skin of their bicuspids, failure may prove to be a godsend.  You can use the opportunity to refocus your practices and ultimately improve your skill set.  And if you fail completely … perhaps Real Estate is not your true calling, or at least not yet.  There is no shame in that.  Fighting and losing does not make you weak.  It just makes you a fighter.  Regardless of where your professional journey next takes you, you have earned the newfound strength that you will take with you.  You are not a failure.  You simply failed. 

Know who make some of the best coaches?  Ex-players who never made it to the bigs. 

And what of the politicos who lack the requisite charisma to be electable?  Some become the biggest power brokers in the country, if not the world.

Every failing, a new beginning.

I relate the surging failure rate in the careers of Real Estate professionals due to my own myopic perspective, but it is a universal theme that translates to the hardships that are being experienced in every walk of life with startling frequency.

With people losing houses, jobs and wealth, we'd all do well to guard against mistaking a result for an inherent truth.  Acknowledge your defeat, but don’t accept that you are defeated.  The real test, and opportunity, begins at that point.

As they say in boxing, everyone has a plan until they get hit in the face.  You only discover your true constitution upon rising from the canvas.  So get up and fight.  And if you can't defeat the opponent in front of you, you can always get a gig selling hot dogs in the stands.

Congratulations, even putting yourself in position to fail constitutes the toe in the lake that many timid souls on this watery planet will never dip.

 

Comments(74)

Tom Kile
Keller Williams Realty - Amarillo, TX

Wonderful post, Paul.  I like when people think of the glass as half full as opposed to half empty.  That's my kind of thinking as well.  Really successful people have failed at some point in their lives.  Even Donald Trump lost everything in real estate at one point and built it back up.

Jan 21, 2009 03:13 AM
Russell Lewis
Realty Austin, Austin Texas Real Estate - Austin, TX
Broker,CLHMS,GRI

"Now, my business is steadily picking up"

As a person I trust and believe, I am jumping in full on!

"CANNONBALL"

Jan 21, 2009 03:30 AM
Gordon Wynn
Keller Williams - Oklahoma City, OK

Thanks, Paul.  It's important to keep in mind that "stuff happens".  We simply pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, mount the horse and ride again.  Failure is a good learning tool.  Just make sure you pay attention to what went wrong so you don't repeat the same mistakes over and over again.

Jan 21, 2009 03:55 AM
Bill Gillhespy
16 Sunview Blvd - Fort Myers Beach, FL
Fort Myers Beach Realtor, Fort Myers Beach Agent - Homes & Condos

Hi Paul,  I like the old saying about learning more from our failures than from our successes !

Jan 21, 2009 04:43 AM
Randy Hooker
Dreamcatcher Realty / Greater Phoenix Area - Gilbert, AZ
Gilbert, Chandler, Mesa, Queen Creek

Paul, I actually do not believe in the concept of "failure," or of "success" for that matter.  Doesn't it depend on who's judging it?  I believe there are only CHOICES.  Some choices appear to result in 'success', and some choices appear to result in 'failure'.  But do they, really?  Who among us is in a position to judge good from bad, right from wrong, success from failure?  And...  can't their be choices made that result in partial success and partial failure?  Just my wonderings...    :)

Randy Hooker

Jan 21, 2009 04:54 AM
Mike Russell
Mike Russell Real Estate Group - Overland Park, KS
Overland Park Kansas Real Estate

how many elections did lincoln lose before becoming president. it was a lot. What if he had just quit?

Jan 21, 2009 04:58 AM
Amanda Christiansen
Re/Max Home Connection - Fort Wayne, IN
Fort Wayne Real Estate Agent

Great post Paul!  Anytime that I fail at something, or something doesn't quite work out the way I wanted it to, I always try to understand the lesson in it.  Sometimes it takes a little while to see it because of the pain of the failure...but eventually I come around.  I've learned a lot the past 2 years I've been involved in real estate, and I'm ready to learn a whole lot more!

Jan 21, 2009 05:01 AM
Mark MacKenzie
Phoenix, AZ

Paul,

Really well written - especially on the part of boxers getting hit in the face.

If you are stepping in the ring, this is going to happen.  At some point you will take a hit, but that doesn't mean that you don't get up. :)

Jan 21, 2009 05:44 AM
Donna Shuman
Florida Wholesale Realty Corp - Oviedo, FL
REALTOR - Marketing for Richard Shuman - www.SKIPtheBULL.com

Congratulations on learning something that it takes many others years and years to learn. Growth, progress, ingenuity, all inventions, discoveries, and medical cures are found through trial and error, or as you so aptly put it, failure.

In one of my favorite movies, National Treasure, the character, Ben Gates, reminds us that Thomas Edison did not fail over 1,000 times while trying to create the light bulb. He found over 1,000 ways how not to make it.

It's all how you look at it.

Jan 21, 2009 05:58 AM
Chuck Capan
REMAX River Cities - Moline, IL
REALTOR Licensed In IL. - Moline Homes Quad Citie

I love the smell of failure in the morning...it smells like VICTORY!

Jan 21, 2009 06:21 AM
Bill Gassett
RE/MAX Executive Realty - Hopkinton, MA
Metrowest Massachusetts Real Estate

Paul this was very well done and I can tell it was from the heart. We all have feared failure at one point in out life. Glad you have found what it takes to be successful.

Jan 21, 2009 06:34 AM
Kelly Sibilsky
Licensed Through Referral Connection, LTD. - Lake Zurich, IL

You are so right...sometimes failure can be the best thing that ever happened to you. How many buyers lost that first house only to find a better second house to bid on? How many were fired or laid off or quit their jobs and found a better job and a more promising future? Never be afraid to try...and fail...

Jan 21, 2009 08:50 AM
Alex Mordas
EarthSTEPS - Tallahassee, FL
Green Building Consultant

Hey Paul,

This is exactly the post that I needed to read right now. Thanks! Seeing you with your kid while reading it was really set the mood - I have two little ones of my own, and they are what motivates me to move past failure without becoming it.

 

 

Jan 21, 2009 10:05 AM
Cameron Wilson
Labrum Real Estate - Murrieta, CA
The Short Guy - Murrieta,Temecula,Menifee Californ

How will one ever succeed if they never try and how will one find what works without finding out what doesn't work.

Congrats on the feature my friend.

Jan 21, 2009 10:19 AM
Kathleen Lordbock
Broker/Short Sale & Staging Specialist - Crosby, MN
Keller Williams Realty Professionals

Well written  and executed. Just the fear of failure stops many.

Jan 21, 2009 02:49 PM
Anonymous
roxannamorey

I loved your post! I too have found it hard to step out of my comfort zone and try things that I didn't feel like I would be great at. Thanks for sharing!

Jan 22, 2009 03:32 AM
#70
Sean Carroll
The Get Off Your A$$ Academy - Manhattan, NY
Real Estate Speaker and "Expert" Coach

great post. I posted something on fear a few days back, and I really appreciate seeing another perspective like yours. I agree that failure sucks when you are going through it, but after you come out the other side, you look back and see the reason for the failure, and then use it as a growth experience

Jan 22, 2009 07:23 AM
Elizabeth Cooper-Golden
Huntsville Alabama Real Estate, (@ Homes Realty Group) - Huntsville, AL
Huntsville AL MLS

Paul, Wow, you can really deliver to each and every one of us...I wish I had your writing talent.  Few do.  You are such a deep and soulful writer, I think.  Full of talent that is just "there".  Your voice just jumps from your posts.  I'd say many are bookmarking this to read over and over again.

You can't fail, if you don't try:)  Great words of wisdom.

Jan 22, 2009 12:40 PM
Josh Lutz
American Premier Property Inspection, LLC - Phoenix, AZ

Paul, great post! Maybe you should write a motivational book?  Thanks for the inspiring words!

Jan 23, 2009 12:03 AM
Matt Grohe
RE/MAX Concepts - Des Moines, IA
Serving the metro since 2003

Rise up this mornin,
Smiled with the risin sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin, this is my message to you-ou-ou

Feb 04, 2009 07:26 AM