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Confidence Envelops You When You Care Enough to Make a Difference.

By
Real Estate Agent with RE/MAX Elite Services, Nurit Coombe Team MD102148

This post was highlighted by professional sales trainer and author of the book series, Selling with Soul , Jennifer Alan,  in her latest training seminar.

If you are like I was at one time, then you get nervous thinking about your appointment days before. For whatever reasons the butterflies show up in your stomach and you dread even knocking on their door. There was a time when I even would wish that appointments would cancel.

I began to wonder, what am I going to say that makes me stand out from the competition? All good agents had the same tools. I think that's what bothered me more than anything. On top of that, if I knew I was competing with agents that had better track records than I, my nerves got worse.

At the time, I didn't know it, but my focus was in completely the wrong place. I was focused on how I could make myself look better in their eyes without genuinely focusing on them. I know a good presentation can make you look good, but if you're more concerned about getting the listing than you are with your client's needs there is a disconnect and it was that disconnect that was making me nervous. I didn't consciously see the connection, but I know that I was more interested in impressing them, than helping them.

It wasn't until I realized that I cared about my clients and I wanted to really, genuinely help them, that I overcame my appointment fears. I was so wrapped up in what I was going to say about myself and my service to get them to like and choose me, that I wasn't really focusing on their needs.

"Confidence envelops you the moment you realize that you care enough to make a difference."

I actually coined that motivational phrase several years back. You can check it out on the Internet.

Before, my appointments would consist of immediately going through client's homes and making small talk or showing buyers listings on the computer. On listing appointments I would take notes and then I would get to the table, break out my canned presentation, and answer any questions at the end. It did work sometimes. But, it wasn't the best way for me to do business.

After an appointment with a pushy financial adviser, I had a paradigm shift. This adviser clearly didn't care about me or my family. I felt it and I realized that was a terrible way to be. I put myself in my client's position and it was easy to see what I had been missing. I had definitely wanted to be the best real estate agent out there, making the most money, even providing the best service, but the way I was getting there was all wrong. It couldn't have been any clearer, I was more interested in me than I was my clients. For whatever reason, from that day on, my paradigm changed. My focus was on their needs, not how good I could look on the appointment.

For years now, my appointments consist much more of two-way conversation with the client's doing more than the lion's share of the talking. Instead of putting on a show about how good I am and how much I sell to impress them, I listen to what's important to them. I make sure that all of their concerns are addressed personally. I find out what they know about the process and what they want to know. Sometimes I don't even open my book. If it's the clients that are doing the majority of the talking and I am doing the listening during my presentations, I know I am on the right track.

 

Maryland Real Estate Gaithersburg Real Estate Germantown Real Estate

 

 

 

Comments (40)

Casey Joiner
Scenic Sotheby's International Realty www.caseyjoiner.com - Destin, FL
Scenic Sotheby's International Realty

Great post...thanks for the link for guitar enthusiasts as well

Jan 21, 2009 01:43 PM
Kerry Lucasse
eXp Realty - Urban Nest Real Estate Group - Atlanta, GA
Your Urban Nest Atlanta Real Estate Consultant

Wonderful post!  I do have to admit that I still get the butterflies in my stomach when the listing is in an area I love and/or if I really like the style of the home.  The canned presentations just don't work -- everyone is different and you have to open your eyes and ears in order to truly help them.

Jan 21, 2009 02:23 PM
Carin Arrigo-Zimmer
TopBroker Network Real Estate - Orange, CA
TopBroker Network Real Estate

Meyer~ I love this. Reading your words tonight has inspired me, as I've just returned from a listing appointment without any listing. Though a bit disappointed, I'm somewhat relieved because the entire time I was with the seller, the thought occurred to me that he was doing all the talking. Helping him is/was my greatest concern and for now, yet he's not willing to budge on price nor commission. Like Jennifer, would you mind if I share your post? You're a wonderful writer. Thanks for sharing. =)

Jan 21, 2009 03:24 PM
Mike Henderson
Your complete source for buying HUD homes - Littleton, CO
HUD Home Hub - 303-949-5848

Yep I thank that is the answer.  If you just focus on their needs then you will get the sale.  What a novel concept.

Jan 21, 2009 03:57 PM
Jason Neumann
Century 21 Assurance Realty Ltd. - Kelowna, BC
Realtor - www.KelownaRealEstateNews.com

Hello Meyer,

I respect the honesty and sincerity of your post.  Sounds to me like once your focus shifted to where it needed to be your nerves weren't so nervous anymore.  Great post and thanks for sharing it.  Take care and happy blogging!

Jan 21, 2009 05:18 PM
Eunice Waller
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Simpson Realtors - Locust Grove, VA
Working Together, We Can Do Great Things

Good morning Meyer, You've said it all...It's all about them!

Jan 21, 2009 09:16 PM
Maggie Dokic /Indialantic | 321-252-8696
Magdalena Dokic - Indialantic, FL
Selling the beach in Florida's space coast

Meyer, how do you do it?  So young yet so wise?  This is TOTALLY the right approach.  It takes the whole focus off 'me' and unto 'them' and the butterflies do go away at that point.  Great post.

Jan 21, 2009 09:39 PM
Barb Szabo, CRS
RE/MAX Above & Beyond - Cleveland, OH
E-pro Realtor, Cleveland Ohio Homes

Meyer. Excellent post. One of the agents in our office recently went on a listing appt. She knew she was competing against another agent. She said to the seller, (even though she had 7M in closed transactions), "I reallly don't have anything to brag about, but I do work very hard" and they then went on to discuss the seller's needs. When she followed up to see if the seller had made a decision, the seller said "Yes, I have chosen you. The agent asked,"May I ask why?" and the seller said "All the other agent talked about was how big her company was now that they had purchased another large local company.  The seller was not impressed.

Jan 21, 2009 10:06 PM
Meyer Leibovitch
RE/MAX Elite Services, Nurit Coombe Team - North Bethesda, MD
REALTOR Boyds, MD

Christina-Thanks for the nod :)

Kathy-I really hope you are right. With all of the short sale and bank business theses days, some of us are finding that good connections are a little bit more valuable than helping families acheive their housing goals. We have agents in our area with a hundred short sale and foreclosure listings that have turned real estate into a liquidation assembly line. More power to them, but from experience dealing with some of it, it takes the "personal service" out of the equation.

Kathy-You are right. Those connections are the ones I tend to nurture. i have clients that have literally given me ten or more referrals over the years. I stay totally connected to them and let them know they are appreciated!

Casey-Anything for a fellow guitar player!

Christa- I think most clients get it if you show them you care.

Kerry-I still get the butterflies, but I know that my intentions are true and they tend to go away much more quickly :)

Thanks Jason!

Maggie-Thanks for the complement. A 40 I am beginning to feel a lot less young, but I'll take it!

Barb, I think that's a great example! Eventually people see through someone that's just about the money.

 

You are right Eunice!

Carin-Please share my post as much as you like. it's very flattering :)

Mike-isn't it funny that the obvious is hidden in plain sight?

 

 

 

Jan 21, 2009 11:53 PM
Marian Goetzinger
Pine Knoll Shores Realty 252-422-9000 - Pine Knoll Shores, NC
Crystal Coast Real Estate NC

Meyer,  Thanks for sharing.  I rarely get nervous about appointments anymore.  I think confidense comes with experience and some successes and also with getting away from selfishness.  I really do like people.  Thank goodness, since that's what this business is all about.  And I know that I'm probably building another relationship with this next appointment, even if I don't get the deal.  So it's all good.

Jan 22, 2009 12:11 AM
Joan Cox
House to Home, Inc. - Denver Real Estate - 720-231-6373 - Denver, CO
Denver Real Estate - Selling One Home at a Time

Being a Realtor of 12 years, agreed, confidence HAS to be there, for the general public to give you the opportunity to work with the most money they will spend at one time!     Housing can be quite the investment, and the general public wants to know YOU have their best interest first.

 

Joan Cox, GRI,CRS,ABR,e-Pro

Metro Brokers - Turning Point RE

720-231-6373

www.JoanCox.com

Jan 22, 2009 02:45 AM
Kris Kombrink ~ The Kombrink Team
RE/MAX Excels - Chicago's Western Suburbs - Geneva, IL

Excellent post, Meyer.  It's so true that if we are just honest with ourselves and others, and honest in our intentions, all else will follow.

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Jan 22, 2009 03:12 AM
Rebecca Gaujot, Realtor®
Lewisburg, WV
Lewisburg WV, the go to agent for all real estate

Great post, thanks for your honesty.  I agreee, talk less....and listen more!

Jan 22, 2009 04:59 AM
Bobbie Smith
Stroudsburg, PA
570-242-1891

Wow! You are so right. Focus on the needs of the client instead of all that "stuff in the book" that has been drummed into us over and over again. I think they call that thinking "out of the box" and that is what you need to keep you ahead of the pack, so to speak. Great post! Thanks for sharing.

Jan 22, 2009 11:51 AM
Virginia Hepp - Mesquite NV REALTOR
Desert Gold Realty - Mesquite NV Homes For Sale - Mesquite, NV
Mesquite NV Homes and Neighborhoods - Search MLS

Meyer - it sounds like you knew all along that it was all about them, you just needed the confidence of knowing that they would realize that you would take care of them.   Great post.

Jan 22, 2009 01:26 PM
Meyer Leibovitch
RE/MAX Elite Services, Nurit Coombe Team - North Bethesda, MD
REALTOR Boyds, MD

Thanks Bobbie and Virginia :)

 

Jan 24, 2009 10:25 AM
Dawn Helena Anderson
Coldwell Banker - Quality Properties - Porter Ranch, CA
Realtor Since 1998

Just being you goes a long way.  Thanks for the reminder! 

Jan 28, 2009 12:03 PM
Bobbi Sedok
Century 21 Moline Realty - Cambridge, MN

Thank you for this.  It is really good to think about when you are not feeling so confident.  Thanks for this posting!

 

Jan 30, 2009 12:25 PM
Pamela Elder
Gaines Realty - Inman, SC

Hi,

This is an awesome post!! I personally believe confidence comes from having faith in yourself. Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom.

Feb 04, 2009 12:45 AM
Bill Saunders, Realtor®
Meyers Realty - Hot Springs, AR
www.BillSellsHotSprings.com

Myer,

What an excellent post, especially for newbies (like myself) who are influenced by so many authors as we are often "non-trained" in our new agencies. There is no doubt there is a great deal of wisdom in pages written by Ziglar,Hopkins, etc. But I am reading Jennifer Allan right now and her work sure does hit home for the client/service oriented agent.

Thanks for the post, I am hoping for my first listing meeting (without formal presentation) in the next couple of days!

Feb 16, 2009 09:26 PM