My 22 year old son called me last week..he was extremely sick..and recently laid off..last man hired first to go..sorry about your luck but when business picks up you'll be the first man hired!  Great and not really comforting especially for a 22 year old impatient man! And especially not for his mom who is miles away!

I've seen this amazing transformation in him...in the past..he would have just packed his bags and come back home! In the past...he would have ripped into his employer for letting him go and in the past..he would have created holy havoc...because life wasn't going his way..

But he didn't and I am convinced he is his own man! :) 

So I asked the question....have you talked to your father?  NOPE...we can't communicate...we can't seem to deal with one another...mom he just doesn't like the man I've become.  Here we go...round 35 of differences between Bob and his dad!

So the kind words came out of my mouth...I don't know where they came from...all I know is the fact..I've been taught and brought up to take care of my own...regardless of circumstances...regardless of inconvenience and regardless of how I personally feel! 

"Bob, you know how your father is and you have to know that he loves you but he can't ever help you or even communicate with you if you don't put some effort into it...It's a two way street...and your dad..is a little narrow minded but you with your open mind can find the right words and actions to make things better!"

"Remember one thing...pay attention to what I am saying...you were raised by me....I was raised by grandma and paw paw.and he was raised by grammy and grampi..understand? Different generations..different perspectives of life....different thought processes....and remember your father loves you the best way he knows how!  You have to continue to build this relationship and one day..he will be gone...no shoulda...no woulda..no coulda...because you'll live your life filled with regrets!"

Bob understood and now to get his dad to understand..

I sent him a few bucks to get medicine and food and lots of word of encouragement..and then my next mission to talk to his dad!  There is a reason why my ex-husband is an ex and one of our biggest problems was communication..when I have to talk to him now..its not easy and there are days...I just want to jump through the phone.  But it seems even though we can't communicate..the message is recieved loud and clear!  And at the end..guilt seems to eat his dad..and regardless of differences..his dad does the right thing.

My son has been on five interviews and each time he arrived... at his appointment..the position has been filled! Hmmmm.....what a surprise..there is a surplus of unemployed people and not enough jobs!

I guess what I am trying to say here is that so many pass judgment on their children and there comes a point..where the judgments can and will impact them!  Yes it took my son some time to mature but some parents choose to walk away before that beautiful part of life begins.... some parents wait until their children's life is rosy and they are living the life their parents expect! 

I do not know if ever things will be Rosy between Bob and his dad but I do know one thing...parenting never ends...and it never gets easier..or less heartbreaking or joyful..parenting is a gift that sometimes is taken for granted. And if you chose to bring children into the world...its one of your purposes whether you like it or not!

So what happened?

Tuesday he came home and found bags and bags of groceries on his front step..yes his dad did right by him and made sure he had food!  While my ex doesn't really relate to Bob at all..without a doubt he tries and loves him the best way he knows how!

Yesterday he went on another interview..and I do not know the outcome..but I did find out..he can collect unemployment to hold him over..but for him...its not something he wants to do...and just like most men in the U.S. he would rather work!  

As a parent..its difficult to really know what's going on..yes we talk..yes we see each other but as a parent its my job to check and make sure....

They have food on their table...are employed...happy...healthy!

Have you chatted with your kids lately?  If not..you should... and for me no shoulda..no woulda..no coulda...because regardless of the age of my 3 young men...I will always be there for them..and love them..even if I do not like the choices they make for themselves! 

I was the one who signed up for parenting not my boys...and the contract... is forever!

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed by The Activerain Network and it's members and those providing comments are theirs alone, and do not reflect the opinions of Midori Miller AKA Daytona Beach Real Estate Trainer and /or CENTURY 21 Sundance Realty. Midori Miller and CENTURY 21 Sundance Realty are not responsible for the accuracy or content provided by The Community.