My kids are a trip. Noah is turning seven in a few days. The older he gets the more he regresses. Stephen's a bad influence on him. It appears that Applied Behavior Analysis works both ways... Who knew a precocious two tear old could cause so much havoc?

Step is going to be three in a few months. Seriously. I wonder what that will be like. Little dude thinks throwing my cell phone out the window is a toddler sport. Bad enough my calculators are taking baths in the toilet but now the sound of miniature LCD television displays taking a dive has caught his fancy. It doesn't shatter. It makes a peculiar soft yet reverberating "kquish" sound when you drop one from the fifth floor. Then there's the crisp crack of impact from the casing shattering apart and electronics skipping across the roof top of the garage as a tinkle of excitement.

Makes you think something just took a bashing. There is always that strange moment of silence as if everyone in the complex paused to think WTF was that? Happens every time. (Yup. I've suffered multiple crushing, inclusive of miniature DVD players.)

Seriously. Little dude used to drop a lego block or two, but that's not fun for him anymore. Now it's cell phones. My son runs through electronics like some people run through toilet paper. I am bleeding money trying to stay wireless, on-line and entertained. I like my business toys and so does my 2.8 year old. The constant destruction is getting kind of depressing...

Hubby tried to cheer me up with a TomTom for Christmas. Didn't want me getting lost and figured I could save some paper from the map-quest fest. Turns out I'm not happy because now I have to sleep with one eye open to keep the minion blur from floating my TomTom in the toilet or sending it five flights to a spectacular doom. My GPS is a lot more delicate than my cell phone. Woe is me... TomTom should have a chat with Samsung...

I am a die hard Samsung fan. Our Samsung phones have taken numerous beatings, yet somehow managed to survive Stephen the Minion Blur.

They have floated in the toilet. They have taken a bath. They have showered. They have hidden in the toaster. They have materialized from the microwave and freezer. The first time he chucked mine out the window, we managed to find all of the pieces and snap it back together again. I was so distraught, my hubby had to do it for me and we were both amazed when the cracked phone continued to work flawlessly. Unfortunately, the last time my kid chucked my cell phone out the window it hit a patch of ice and the LCD was no more. My sound bit the dust as well and we couldn't find all of the pieces to snap it back together again. It still powered up and vibrated when ever someone called me, so I took the hubby's phone and ran to the Sprint store begging for help to save my contacts before it died completely. Problem was, if they transferred my info into his phone, he would loose his info. Bummer. I was now forced to buy a new phone, which was not in my budget. I only had $80 on me and we had $150 phones (LOL). The chick there didn't give a shit but the guy was awesome. He told the manager about my kid and the manager said I could have a phone that did all the things my old phone did for $50. I went straight for the Samsung Rant in a cool fire engine red. Mommy always has either a red or silver phone. Dad gets all the other colors (LOL).  

Sprint is all digital. There is no sim card. If they steal your phone and you shut it down they can't reactivate and use it. Nice, eh? I didn't know they had wireless back up either. Didn't have it before, but I do now. It took a major effort to retrieve my contacts and I will never not back up my phone data ever again. I really believe if I had a different phone all would have been lost a couple of days ago. Sansung is amazing. I wish I knew who to talk to about making a minion proof phone... I should send them my kid to work in their testing area. I bet they'd learn a lot in one day (LOL). I can't believe my new phone has so many cool features. I added new stuff and it was cheaper than my old plan. :-)

There is a bit of irony in this. My bad little minion did a good thing inadvertently. I got a rebate that cancels out the price of the phone, I've got more minutes, a better plan and an awesome phone. There is another point of order in the irony department: I have a Samsung Rant but I don't know how to use it. Seriously! I have got to change that damn ring-tone! I'm being hip-hopped to death with this teeny-bopper whispery cool snippet of a song that is popular but so not me  (LMAO). I am 43 years old getting picked up by kids thinking I'm not that old (ROTFL). Since when did ring-tones = invitation to rap? Is it me? Did I miss something vital here? Duh?

I am sitting here staring at my two fave toys that I do not know how to use. I am wondering where the hell I am going to hide them from my kids so I can go to sleep tonight. My little dudes get into everything and they will sit with my keys and try every single one because they understand that keys unlock stuff. We are freaking out trying to figure out how the two of them manage to open so many things. Maybe I should duck tape my phone and TomTom to the ceiling in a freezer bag. After all, they are both too short to reach it but will probably start jumping in the bed in their best efforts to try. They always give everything their best effort, especially when mischief and mayhem are afoot.

Parenting a PDD-NOS two tear old kid can be tough. Parenting a six year old with Autism pretending to be a PDD-NOS two year old is no joke either... You should see the two of them fighting over my new phone. They watch the Disney channel on it all the time. Sometimes it is the only way I can keep them both in the bed and focused on trying to go to sleep. Sprint TV is turning out to be their fave night light. :-)