I met a fellow colleague who does coaching. She always has interesting comments and observations, and I wanted to share this one. I think we all talk to much and listen too little.
From the Desk of Jennifer Allan
Dear Soulful Friends,
Y'know what? No one really wants your opinion (or mine, either, for that matter). Well, let me re-state that. No one really wants, cares about, believes or appreciates our opinion UNTIL THEY WANT IT. How do we know they want it? They ASK for it.
Have you ever noticed that your unsolicited advice to your friends, family, spouse or children is largely ignored or even resented? Irritating, isn't it? I mean, you KNOW what they're doing wrong; what they should be doing instead and exactly how to help them get there and they just don't appreciate it?! Sheesh! Are we surrounded by ingrates?
Ummm. Well. Truth be told, I don't much like being told what to do, either, regardless of the good intentions of the tell-er. Any sentence that starts out with any semblance of the words "you should" is likely to result in a bristly response from me. Probably from you, too. Further, I can't say I much appreciate any helpful advice on how my character or behavior could use some improving, either. Might just spark an argument, in fact. Might? HA! It definitely will.
So, if we stipulate that this is true in our personal lives, doesn't it make sense that it might also apply in our real estate careers?
I think it does. I think we can gain considerable credibility with our buyers and sellers by NOT offering them our advice and opinions off the bat. Let them tell their story, ask lots of questions, listen to the answers, take notes. It's likely this will be the first time in awhile that someone has actually shown such an interest in them and believe me; they'll enjoy their moment in the spotlight!
"But -- but -- but!"
Yeah, I know, didn't these people HIRE you for your brilliance? For your expert advice? Don't they WANT your opinions?
Well, maybe, but just because you're talking with them in a business environment doesn't negate the fact that they're human beings and probably don't care to be "advised" before they're ready to be.
Ooooh, I have so much more to say on this topic, but I've probably overstayed my welcome already (if your attention span for loooooong letters is as limited as mine is). So, stay tuned, and I'll continue this saga soon.
p.s. Speaking of being "Persuasive," have you signed up for our February 7th show about Creating a Persuasive CMA? It's freeee and there's no dress code. Learn more about it and register here.
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