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Introvert Tip #2 - Always Offer Your Hand First

Any extrovert reading this is gonna go "HUH? Well, DUH" (extroverts can be so well-spoken - said with a smile).

However, I bet some of you Ntros are going to relate.

Have you ever been introduced to someone... who didn't offer their hand in greeting... and you didn't offer yours... and the relationship went downhill from there?

It happens to me all the time and I hate it. Maybe I just wasn't versed in the social graces as a child, but I really think that it's due to my Ntro personality. I almost always wait for the other person to initiate a handshake and usually they do.

Great! Onward!

But... sometimes, the other person is also an Ntro and waits for ME to get the social ball rolling. And when I don't, oooooh... it's painful. Awkward. Uncomfortable. And it doesn't get any better with time.

So, the obvious simple solution is to remind yourself to always extend your hand in greeting until it becomes a habit.

Great! Onward!

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Jennifer Allan, GRI

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Posted by Jennifer Allan, Author of Sell with Soul on 05/04/2007 09:17 AM

Comments (13)

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Originally posted at: Selling Soulfully with Jennifer Allan: Introvert Tip #2 - Always Offer Your Hand First

13 Comments on Introvert Tip #2 - Always Offer Your Hand First

MAY

2007

Never even thought of it that way Jennefer. Coming from the coporate world, social style training was a mandatory class for all executives. It's called a lot of different names but in essence you identify the other person social style and then emulate that syle to a degree to have the most positive understanding and communication experience.

My style proved to be a driver - expressive personality so extending a hand is the most natural thing in the world to me. Perhaps that's why I never saw this as you have through your eyes. An interesting perspective.

Jeff Daley
www.RealEstateInScottsdaleAZ.com

I have had this happen to me so many times. I'm learning (SLLLOOOOWLLY!) that in a lot of situations, people will not offer their hand. It is up to me. I still feel awkward doing this sometimes, but, as with anything, as you practice, it gets easier. Thanks for pointing out how this one tiny thing can create an uncomfortable relationship.

You are so right Jennifer, sometimes I forget.

Thanks for the reminder. I like to pretend that I'm not an introvert, but I think really I am just a great actress!

This is from one of your well-spoken Xtros....HUH? Well, DUH!

I know that you are laughing.

Richard - I usually offend at least one person with my blogs - glad it wasn't you this time!! Thanks for making ME smile too.

I don't offend easily. I like to be the Devil's Advocate and tend to irritate some people with my posts and comments too. Glad that I was able make you a smile. Enjoy.

Anthropologists believe that shaking hands came from the practice of early humans extending their hands to show that they were carrying a weapon. Kind of a, "Hey, I'm not going to hurt you" sort of thing. This evolved into a means of greeting one another and showing respect.

Neither of these things is a bad thing to do be you an ntro or an xtro.

Hand shake

Bob Mitchell

ValueList

My father taught us to always extend a hand AND make sure it was not a weak, flimsy shake. He does this with even the smallest children. :-)

Good reminder, but also beware that there are some cultures that do not shake hands.

MAY

2007

I have never thought of that, I will make a point to offer my hand first.

MAY

2007

Being raised as a southern gentleman I was tought only to shake a lady's hand if she offers hers first. Oh boy! Now if I meet a lady and she's a Ntro, oh dear, I'm sooo confused! I guess I will have to remeber this is the year 2007.

Ok ladies if I offend you by offering my hand first, sorry! :)

MAY

2007

I hate, hate, hate flimsy, weak handshakes! they actually creep me out!

MAY

2007

handshaking is a science

I agree - first is best

but do it right as well...

Ladies - a handshake is not a palm down squeeze my fingers type thing. That's considered standoffish in business etiquette..

Ntros... if you get offered a handshake by anyone palm down, that is a dominant action so step 1/8 step to your right and the hand will need to shift sideways to reach you where you can grab a level handshake (vertical!)

Ntros can get dominated easily for not knowing how to counter!

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