I never thought I'd need a food taster!

This is one of those meandering things that just happens every now and again, the two things are not related, but they both tickled my funny bone. 

PART I

I have a friend who has money.  He owns a strip mall and had a tenant, let's say they were jewelers for lack of something more imaginative.  So the tenant and the owner, my friend, became sort of friends.  The tenants are now citizens of this great country, but they started out life somewhere where the laws are just a bit more loosey goosey than they are here.  The tenants decide that since the owner of the building, their friend, seems to have more than enough money, they didn't really need to pay the rent.   No hard feelings.  In fact, they were very nice about it.  They kept sending the checks, only problem was, there was no money in the account to cover it.

My friend pays them a little visit.  Only one of the partners is there.  He smiles... Hello!  Great to see you.  My brother, my mother and my sister took a cruise on the Queen Elizabeth II and they are now enjoying the hospitality of a lovely 5 star restaurant in, we'll say Italy, for the sake of the story.  Oh really, says my friend.  Ah hem..., I'm here about the rent.  It seems that for the past several months, the checks have been bouncing.  Oh, no problem, says the tenant, here I'll write another check. 

I'm sure you know where this is going.  That check, the owner takes directly to the bank and guess what?  Insufficient funds.  The owner goes to his attorney who must know someone who knows someone and he gets all of the accounts frozen.

Now the brother, the mother and the sister are eating at a wonderful Italian restaurant... very pricey.  The waiter brings the credit card back... sorry... your credit card has been denied.  No problem.  Try this one.  Same thing.  This one?  No?  Okay, let me write you a a check.  Okay. 

Next morning, the brother here at the jewelry store gets a frantic call from Italy.  All of the accounts are frozen, none of the credit cards are good and their checks are useless.  HELP!!

Well, long story short, the brother that was here had to take cash over to the attorney's office and then the accounts were "unfrozen".  What is the point of this story? 

My friend just emailed me today to tell me that he ran into the brothers and he was invited over their home for dinner tonight!  Are you kidding me?  "I hope you are taking a food taster along with you", I say.  He says, all is forgiven.  Again... are you kidding me??  You stranded a cowboy in Italy with his mother and sister and you think all is forgiven?  Are you nuts?  I haven't heard back yet, but I am hoping he took my advice and took a food taster!

PART II

Here is the second part of the story.  I deliver Meals on Wheels on Thursdays.  One of my recipients didn't answer the door yesterday.  I peeked through the window, and I could see that his gas fireplace was lit and the dog was loose.  Very unusual, when he is not home, the dog is crated and no one leaves the fireplace on.  I called the emergency contact, no answer.  I left messages everywhere.  I am very worried about this man, who lives alone with his dog, Buttercup.  I called Meals on Wheels and I am told not to worry, they will handle it.  But could I do them a favor.  When someone is not home, I usually give the food to the next person, so it doesn't go to waste.  This time, since I continued on my rounds and back tracked to the home again to double check that maybe he just didn't hear the door, I was stuck with the meal.  Could I taste the food and let them know what I thought?

Well, I have made no bones about the fact that the smell of the food is not very good.  I swallowed and said... taste it?  She said.. "I would really appreciate it, I've heard the food has been better lately".  I answered... "I am Italian.. I have to say, better than what?" I admitted that it didn't smell as bad as it usually did.

I call my best friend Leann.  I tell her that she won't believe it, but the food I have been complaining about smelling all of this time, I have to taste!  Leann is very easy on food.  She thinks the Olive Garden is the best Italian food ever!  I mean, really?  Everywhere we go, she thinks the food is wonderful!  So she says, Susan, Susan, Susan.  That is definitely not a job for you.  You are too picky.   I'll taste it.  So that's what we did. 

I brought the food to work, and she ate it.  All of it.  I drank the container of milk because I happen to love going down memory lane with milk in a carton.  I was ready to get my blanket and mat and take my afternoon nap, just like we did in Kindergarten!  She pronounced the food to be "very good".  She even forced me to taste a bite.  It was a meat sauce served over boiled spaghetti with a side order of corn.  Corn with spaghetti?  Don't get me started.  I have to admit, it wasn't bad.  Not gourmet maybe.  But definitely not bad. 

So in one day, two people needed a food taster.  I got one.  I haven't heard from my friend yet.  Not sure if he listened to me!

Epilogue

My friend, the rich guy, is alive and well.  He had a lovely dinner last night and the host and hostess were very gracious.  One of the tenants has since married and he and his lovely wife have two children and they were just adorable.  My friend is a little gassy, but doing well!  No food taster needed.

I was remiss in not reassuring all that my Meals on Wheels person is doing well.  It seems that on Thursday morning, he had heart palpitations and had a friend take him to the emergency room.  He forgot he left the fireplace on and called me that night to thank me for my concern and let me know that he and Buttercup were doing fine.  I'm sorry I forgot to let you know that before.