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Facebook---Controversy Erupts Among My “Friends”

I’ve been on Facebook about three months, which is more or less how long I’ve been here on ActiveRain. I’m finding, not surprisingly, people view their Facebook experience differently.

It will be fascinating to see how we, as individuals, manage this merging of the personal and business on this forum.

Back to the story! I was browsing through Facebook and my eye caught a comment posted between one “friend” to another. Both of these friends are professionals in the real estate industry, but in different capacities. All three of us have a number of mutual friends.

Posted on Johnson’s Wall was a statement from Smith to the effect that that he enjoyed Facebook as a diversion, allowing him to see what was going on the lives of his “friends” and he did not appreciate the forum being used for business solicitations. A little later Smith issued a status update wishing everyone would quit using Facebook for advertising.

A few minutes later Johnson fired back telling Smith this the is way social networking works for him. He is careful to have a mix of personal and business related communication. If Smith didn’t like it he could just remove Johnson from his friend list.

My perspective is that Johnson is an active Facebook member, but the majority of his posts are of a personal nature, with a number of updates on the kids and family. However, Johnson has recently made a job change and his most recent updates have centered on this change.

Additionally, in our area, we have seen a lift in activity in various sectors of our real estate industry. A number of status updates, including mine, have been celebrating this pick up in activity. So collectively, it probably has been a bit much.

Smith actually is one of the most personable individuals you will ever meet. He is the life of the party and the kind of guy you can’t help but like. I will have to say I was a little surprised at his reaction.

I can see that this conflict of the merging of personal and business is a dilemma here on ActiveRain from post I am reading.

Examples of posts I have recently read:

Sara Bonert wrote “Do You Have 302 Friends”

Michael Fontana has written “Less Is More For Facebook Friends”

Heather Goodwin posted “Please Don’t Hate Me Because I Removed You From My Friends List”

It strikes me that Facebook means different things to different people and I am sometimes surprised how “friends” react.

How are you managing the merging of personal and business as it comes to Facebook? What does being on Facebook mean to you?

As for me I enjoy the experience and my business is part of who I am personally. If you look me up in Greenville, NC and make a friend request, let me know how we may be networked/acquainted (eg. ActiveRain) I will confirm you. I am interested in how you are using Facebook.

Jay Williams

www.myhomeloanwithjay.com

Posted by Jay Williams, Mortgage Loan Officer Getting You The Right Loan on 01/31/2009 12:53 PM

Comments (52)

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52 Comments on Facebook---Controversy Erupts Among My “Friends”

JAN

Hi Jay,

My wife and I both use facebook more for personal use but occasionally mention real estate if we think people would find it interesting. My wife posted a video of some before and after staging photos of a recent listing and people found it interesting. It also allowed her to showcase what she does without it being too pushy. I won't post "Dan and Amy are your sources for RE in Cleveland" or anything tacky like that as that is not our style. I guess it just really depends on your style and comfort level, there is no right or wrong.

I have nto even made it to facebook in regards to business - hard enough to keep up with everything here and on my other blogs

It is just another form of socializing - People use it in many different ways - It is entirely up to the individual on how it would like to socialize - Don't ya think

Jay, I first started Facebook so I could keep up with family and their photos in Michigan. But then my name started coming up more on Google and I wanted their privacy protected so I opened another Facebook Account and there is where I flourished. By that I mean, that I was able to meet people, reconnect with old school chums, etc. While I am outgoing, I built walls up and isolated myself. Facebook and the gang on Point 2 Agent helped break down those barriers for me. Also, it's a great way for people to get to understand your personality of they are thinking about sending a referral to you if they found you on ActiveRain or Point2Agent. For me it's been a big win-win.

I'm new to social media marketing, too, and I can see already that all these sites mean different things to different people. Isn't that just like face to face encounters, though? I agree that if one doesn't wish to have so much "business news" on a facebook site, that they can just remove themselves as "friends". I work in a secondary home area, where there is no local market at all, and where the buyers come from all over the world. I'm looking at social media sites as a way to get the message out, re my area/my listings.

Hi Jay, I use it mainly as a social network to keep up with family and friends, but I do place my listings in marketplace, Since I haven't had the time to figure twitter out, I 'twitter' my updates saying I'm off to BNI, showing home, off to the YMCA. I'm not in your face about real estate but I do send my blog to facebook and I keep in touch with clients. I have one that I facebook more than I email. I look it as a great tool for communicating.

Hi Jay!

Facebook is continually changing and evolving. I'm sure you know how it all got started. And I don't think facebook will be the same 3 years from now than it is right now. I welcome change, but some people have a real problem with any type of change.

I am excited to see where facebook and other types of networking will evolve.

Facebook enables me to keep in better contact with my daughters in a way I was not doing before facebook. Facebook also has put me in contact with people all over the country with like personal or professional intersts. I also have past clients who have invited me to be their friend and that is also a new way of keeping in touch.

As the users grow up evolve and change, so will facebook. My 84 year old Aunt just joined facebook.

I keep it strictly business. If I have time to just chat to me it seems that I must not be busy. I want everyone to know I am working 24 7.. and I am.

Jay, you make a good point. I'm still trying to figure out how much I want family, friends and my business to mingle. Yes I get business from them all and I greatly appreciate it. I started the same time as you on both Facebook and Active Rain and I can see where you could spend all your time on line. The comments you have here are very helpful and constructive. They all made me think.

Dan, I agree with you. There is no right or wrong. I have real friends that just don't get the whole social networking experience and of course that's OK too.

Jay

Randall, I can relate to the time factor of blogging. I need to figure a way to streamline the amount of time spent.

Jay

I'm having fun reconnecting with old friends and being silly/fun with new friends. I occasionally make a comment about trying hard to find a nice home for a nice buyer or working on a listing presentation but most of my comments are fun or silly.

Steve, how true there are always diverse opinions. For me my work is an extension of who I am, so it's natural to mix the business and personal.

Jay

Barb, I think it's a big win-win too. Reconnecting has been fun. Developing relationships is also a plus and just watching to understand others areas of interest.

Jay

Hi Jay,

I use FB to interact with family, friends and clients. I want to know them better and I find FB helps with that. I don't have any local Realtors as friends. I will throw in an occasional mention about things I'm doing in real estate, like I brought my snow shovel with me for showing the other day or I post my Home Buyer Class there as an event. Nothing too "in your face".

Li, one of the options facebook provides is the ability to see less "feeds" from a particular "friend".

On the right beside the feed on you home page is an options button. There you can select to see less of more of that friends posts.

Happy social networking.

Jay

Debbie, I have a facebook friend that recently had a status update about a listing at Smith Mountain Lake, VA. I have mentioned to her she should join Activerain.

I haven't tried Twitter yet, I can only handle a few things at a time.

Jay

Kat, like you I joined as an additional way to stay in touch with my daughters. Then I began to see possibilities. I've enjoyed being a member.

Jay

I use facebook several ways. First I have my own personal page which is more for social networking among friends and family. second I have a company facbook page in which I am friends with colleagues and industry professionals who have accepted my friendship for the specific purpose of getting industry and company updates. In today's world its important to have social networking as part of your marketing portfolio. I say if you don't like ti don't participate. Thirdly I have a Product page on facebook for my company and all the neighborhoods we offer. this is supposed to be for this purpose to its not like I'm infringing on anyone's personal life.

Its all about balance. and if you are in facebook for professionalnetworking make sure you are marketing to the right people.

Shane, and working you are.

Jay

Hi Jay,

Thanks for such a great post! I've only dipped my toe in the facebook waters - but it is fascinating to read your post, the others you linked to, and the comments. Someday I'll get my facebook act together - between midnight and 2am!!

Liz

Rick, yeah I should probably get a life and spend less time in front of the computer on the weekend. I've enjoyed our conversations.

Jay

Kelsey, I too am finding facebook a great place to have fun. Continue having fun!

Jay

Dan, sounds like a good mix. I think I read a blog you wrote on facebook recently?

Jay

Kelly, is your company page using the format of a personal page or your product page? It so easy to request and confirm friends on a personal page. Yet so difficult to get the word out to build a fan base on the product page.

What tips do you have for building a fan base for the product page?

Jay

FEB

I setup a persoanl facebook account and created a group and fan pag for the company. I think I may need to setup an account for the company too.

Liz, we will all welcome you to the facebook arena. One thing, I've come to understand is just enjoy and don't take things personally.

Example, if you request someone to be your friend and they don't respond don't worry. Just because they haven't resonded does not mean they don't like you.

Ha!, this subject is an idea for another blog.

Jay

I use Facebook for socializing - keeping in touch with friends and family. I have not used it professionally. I don't have much time for Facebook - spend too much time working - but it is a fun diversion.

Shuki, I set up a fan or product page on facebook, but haven't figured an easy way to build a fan base. If you have any tips please let me know.

Jay

Vicki, I wonder if I'm telling myself I'm merging personal and business to convince myself I am working, hmmmm

Jay

FEB

hi, Jay:
You have received some great comments here. Amazing how multifacted the uses of Facebook are.

I joined Facebook to expand my online Social Networking for work. But the funny thing was, for several weeks I was getting notes from all personal people. Slowly, over Christmas my Work related friends started responding. Now I try to balance work and personal. I did not 'get' Twitter. Myspace is too controlled. Facebook was a great addition to A/R.

For me, I am looking to Facebook to open a window into my personal life in an attempt to connect on a level that might not develop when working professionally together. Some examples of my Status from the last few days:

Michael is preparing to take his daughter out for a Donut.
Michael is thinking about 2008 Taxes - good thing they're not due for four months. 76 days to be exact.
Michael is happy to have his MAME back - look out 80's arcade games!

So, at it's most basic, my hope is that one of my Friends will 'connect', whether it be kids & donuts, or not looking forward to Taxes, or playing video games. It is important for me to portray that I am a family oriented person, hard working, and yet fun loving.

My Facebook is never serious and never 'in your face'. I am learning how to post my Staged properties and feature them. I created a Business page, and am having trouble building a Fan base with out directly asking (begging?) for people to become fans.

Lastly, I am always looking to try new ideas. Thanks to every one's input here!

by the way, Thanks for the plug!

The Stage Coach Austin Home Stager

I have built my communication style around what I call "overlap"

My business friends are my personal friends and my political combatants and my religious debaters. Why do they have to remain separate?

Sure, a person can block whomever they please on facebook, the more important question on my part would be "why block anyone unless they are saying profane or illegal things?"

We are self-promoters in real estate, and I see little or no reason to stop promoting in a recession.

Twitter Profile: Daltonsbriefs

Facebook Profile

I've gone so far as to publish my tweets onto my facebook status updates, some people complain, but frankly a whole lot of people engage and comment. I find it funny that we beg for comments on our blogs but some ecshew them in other formats. Engage is the motto

FEB

Michael, I joined facebook, in the beginning, as another way to engage with my college student children. Once there and in trying to develop a "friend" base to me it clicked "Cast A Wider Net"

There is an author, whose name I can't spell without seeing it, that discusses factors of influence. Likability is one of those factors. I think showing that personal side to business "friends" tends to increase that likability factor.

On the other side I think it is important to reveal the professional side to you personal friends.

I have a few friends from here on active rain, as a way of watching how they are using facebook to gain ides.

I agree with you on the difficulty of building a fan base for a business page. One thing I've stating doing is posting, from my page to my profile, a "status update". I know it shows on the wall of some, just not sure if it registers with friends or just fans.

Glad I had the opportunity to direct traffic you way.

Jay

Steve, sounds like you view facebook similar to the way I view it. To me that "overlap" or merging of personal and business is what it is all about.

Thanks for becoming a fan of my business page. I confirmed you friend request. I will look to see if you have a page and become a fan.

Jay

I wish we could all keep open minds and open hearts

I actually had a friend complain that I change my prfile picture on facebook too much. My reply was "Made Ya Look"

I think if you look long enough you can find something you don't like about anything you see. I just think it is quicker to find what I like and stick to that.

Thanks Jay for letting me know I am not alone.

It work, work, work for me, plus I get to see my niece, nephew, cousins, and friends, too! It's a win-win! So far, I haven't had any "friends" tell me to cut out the work stuff. I would think if it offended them, they would just ignore it.

FEB

Janice, I enjoy seeing both the personal and business side of my friends group. As long as they are not posting crazy stuff on my profile I'm ok. Haven't had that happen yet.

Jay

David, I guess we have to come to realize some people are just easily frustrated. Part of the deal is to draw a little attention to yourself, isn't it.

Jay

Pat, no one has indicated any offense directly to me either. There was probably something else behind the frustration levied to my friend. There usually is.

Jay

I am on Facebook for a variety of reasons, but I use it for both personal and professional reasons. First, I was connecting with other real estate agents and professionals that I knew from living in different parts of the country. I soon found that high school friends were seeking me out. Now I have a mixture of both. I use a service called Ping.fm to update my status to multiple social media networking pages I have, and many are automated. So the updates my "friends" may see often are real-estate related. You would be surprised how many of my high school friends reach out to me, ask me questions about real estate, or give me kudos when I change my status to reflect a recently opened escrow.

I believe that everyone that I know needs to know I am a Realtor, especially in these difficult times. I also want my fellow Realtors to know I'm not a couch potato Realtor, but instead, actually a very active real estate professional in my area, and can be trusted with referrals. My updates that I have written a blog page on ActiveRain, or my own personal website are crucial elements of this strategy.

But I never neglect to remind them I am human either. If I am attending a son's hockey game, I note that. If my 3 year old is refusing to go to bed and is bunking with mommy and daddy tonight, I note that too. I think it's important that people know we're human, not robots, either. A good mixture of both should keep you in the good graces of all. And - keep the dialogue going, which is what I want.

I use facebook primarily for personal use and fun...I think people do want to know that we are human

Jay, I really haven't found that many of my friends are using Facebook. I have found many more business associates that I have connected with than personal friends, even though I originally joined Facebook to connect and re-connect with family and friends. I think everyone has the right to use it however they want.

FEB

Christianne, Sounds like you've got a great mix of personal and business. Yours is very similar to the strategy I use. Except I've got to check out Ping.fm

Thank you for sharing.

Jay

Anne and Eddie, I think showing the human side is important. Likability is an important factor as to why people do business with someone.

Jay

Troy, I predict you will see more family and friends on facebook. The growth of the platform is incredible as are the opportunities.

Jay

FEB

So far I am keeping it very light on FB & will throw in something occassionally of a RE nature, just so my friends do not forget what I do.

FEB

Kathleen, I would think as a staging specialist, posting photo albums of your work on fb would be an excellent way to subtly do that. People like pictures.

Jay

FEB

I have CHOSEN to enjoy Facebook as a medium for conversations with TWO groups of folks in my world.

First, I began using Facebook last year to publicize events and options to my college classmates, specifically focused on our 30th class graduation reunion. I was astounded when I found out that Facebook is the network of choice for my classmates.

Second, I have enjoyed guest-speaking at real estae and mortgage seminars all across the fruited plains for 12+ years. My network of colleagues around the country whom I met through speaking and teaching are typically working and thinking at a higher level than the traditional real estate salesperson.

Local friends and family come knocking on my door with friend requests, and I quietly ignore them.

I fully support anyone who uses Facebook for any legal purpose, whether for personal connections, or business promotion.

If someone does not like my purpose when using Facebook, that is none of my business. Their opinion of me is none of my business.

If Smith gets irritated by Johnson's posts, Smith is free to delete Johnson as a friend. Smith has no business "shoulding all over" Johnson.

As the old song from Broadway said, "If you don't happen to like me, pass me by".

Erick, since I'm neither friend nor family, but rather a mortgage professional I think I'll find you on facebook and send you a friend request.

Will you quitely ignore me? We shall see.

Jay

FEB

I love facebook and play there a lot each day. I am considering kicking off a few of my friends and making it more professional though.

FEB

Dawn, one thing unless someone post something to your profile others can't see it. What you see on your home page by "friends" can only be seen by mutual friends.

I have decided to cast a wide net.

Have fun and use it the way you feel best.

Jay

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