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Friends Without Benefits

By
Real Estate Agent with Coldwell Banker Excellence CalBre#01517694/ 01429652

 

The longer that I am in the business (now in my 3rd year) I discover contacts in social settings that chose not to use me as their REALTOR®.  Some are mere acquaintances, while others could be classified as friends.  When someone tells me that they used another agent, I have heard every excuse in the book from "I used my parents' friend" to "I do not want my friends to know my personal business".  Sometimes I wish they would just say "I did not want to use you".  I do market regularly to my contacts AKA "sphere of influence" through mail and email campaigns.  I am always financially and physically supporting their causes:  showers, charities, social events, etc.  I also write many personal notes acknowledging their life events.  I have been very successful over the past 2 1/2 years thanks to marketing to my sphere of influence; however I wish that I could have captured some of those missed opportunities.  I do understand that rejection is all part of the game.  How do I let my contacts in my sphere know that my business is dependent on them?  Simultaneously I wish they could know that I do not receive a small salary or leads from my company.  Also what do you say to those contacts when you learn that they used someone else?   Finally, why do these people always like to talk real estate with you in social settings while working with someone else?     Cheryl & Joe

Laurie Mindnich
Centennial, CO
I'm not sure that it's anything personal.  I would really feel uncomfortable having a friend list my house and be involved in the financial aspects of my life.  It's much easier to shriek at a stranger when the house sits and sits...or sells too fast, or has an unpleasant buyer, etc.  Friends are too important to put in that situation.  Aquaintances, on the other hand, are fair game, and how annoying that they don't use us sometimes!
May 07, 2007 09:11 AM
Lauren Corna
Archway Realty, LLC - Southlake, TX
Broker

Joseph and Cheryl -  I have that same thing.  I had several of my own family members that live out of state use other Real Estate Agents...They said that they didn't know that I could be involved, blah, blah ,blah...

I just stay my course and do my thing and move on.  I don't let it drag me down...

A friend of mine that works with me just told me that her good friend and next door neighbor just hired another Agent in our same office to list her home... 

It happens to all of us.  Stay positive and try not to take it personal.

 

May 07, 2007 09:17 AM
Keith Jeppson - Salt Lake City Real Estate
Everest Realty Group - Holladay, UT

This is a pure numbers game. I too get hurt when my soi does not use me.  You just have to become teflon coated and move to the next deal. I'd suggest you purchase the booke "Millionarire Real Estate Agent" and follow the process. It works.

If you contact any Keller Williams office, they'll probably give you the book for free.

May 07, 2007 09:20 AM
Joan Snodgrass
Midamerica Referral Network - Kimberling City, MO

Cheryl:

I've been on both sides of the fence, as most agents have, and I don't know that there is any really good answer to that situation.  I know how it hurts to have a neighbor list with the competition, but on the other hand, it is equally hard to tell a very good friend the truth about her dirty and worn carpeting. 

May 07, 2007 09:20 AM
Laurie Mindnich
Centennial, CO
Sean and I decided that we are not marketing to our immediate block- too abnoxious for us to see that they chose someone else.  Home should be a place that provides comfort, and that comfort would be gone if the person across the street had been approached by us, and used someone else- we'd be annoyed every time we looked out the window!
May 07, 2007 09:32 AM
Steven L. Smith
King of the House Home Inspection, Inc. - Bellingham, WA
Bellingham WA Home Inspector
I think lots of people expect problems, bickering during a deal and they would prefer not getting involved with a friend, just in case there are hurt feelings. They prefer saving the friendship to possibly developing problems in a business relationship. I think there is something to the old saying "do not get in business with friends." I did so years back. In one case it was fine, the other worked out finally but was a hassle with some hurt feelings.
May 07, 2007 09:39 AM