Ar_home_b_search
 

So I'm reading an article in the Obama TIME Magazine a week or so ago (formerly just TIME Mag, now it's Obama TIME all the TIME), and I'm reading an article by Richard Stolley about a crisis facing the residents of the tiny town of Cloudcroft, New Mexico.

Cloudcroft is facing a crisis because of another type of resident, the Sacramento Mountains Checkerspot Butterfly. Seems the biological clock is ticking down on the butterfly and 'the usual suspect' blame mankind. The towns main industry, timber, was shut down in 1993 in response to environmental demands to save the Mexican Spotted Owl. Now the only industry they have left in Cloudcroft (9,000 feet elevation) is tourism  because it sounds like a glorious place to hike, fish & camp in the gorgeous Sacramento Mountains south of Albuquerque. xcv

Now I'm looking at the picture of the wee beastie and it's like I recognize an old friend, the equally famous and equally supposedly extinct Quino Checkerspot Butterfly.  The Quino brought development in our area to a virtual standstill a decade ago when enviro's demanded that any and all  potential habitat be spared. Trouble is, for an endangered species, they live everywhere - or darn near.

I remember many a day accompanying Paul, the local Quino Checkerspot butterfly expert, out on a hunt to determine if they were mating in a given area. See, they loved to hang out in the plentiful Chaparral Scrub and Coastal Sage and if you caught them mating there would be no building permit for that parcel. Trouble is they only mate for about 6 weeks a year in the spring and even then only if it's a reasonably wet spring. If we had a dry spring you couldn't get a permit because you couldn't tell if they were there or not because mating conditions weren't ideal. So you had to wait a year and hope next spring was wetter. Our local expert had been tracking them for 6 years and, aside from the occasional small empty champagne bottle and the teeny tiny cigarette butts, he had yet to see one but he remained optimistic (not to mention, voyeauristic).

Some locals resorted to surreptitiously torching their parcels. Hey - no Chaparral no butterflies Mr. Inspector. Others found a loophole where they'd register a complaint with the County Fire Department that the parcel was a wildfire hazard. The County would  order them to clear the weeds off. Hey - no Chaparral no butterflies Mr. Inspector. It all got pretty silly.

I swear to God I'm not making this stuff up. You can Google it or whatever you want and you'll find the truth whereof I speak.

Finally after a few drought years where there was no butterfly mating to speak of, Realtors, developers and private property advocates raised enough hell that reason prevailed. If you had a 5 acre parcel even if it was rife with scrub and mating butterflies, you could still build on at least one acre if you left the rest alone. Over time that too has been relaxed so that man and butterfly now peacefully co-exist and each is free to mate on their own land with impunity.

But as I researched this post (because I would never just go off on a tangent half-crocked), I realized there are numerous members of the Checkerspot Butterfly family. I'll bet you didn't know that. And you know what? They're all the same and there's billions of them. I don't think they're endangered at all. It's just that if they live in SoCal they're called Quino and they're endangered. If they live in NorCal they're called Bay Checkerspot and they're endangered. If they live in New Mexico they're called Sacramento Mountain and they're endangered. There are numerous other family members including one that's the state bird of Maryland - I found 8 in about a 30 second search.

It's kinda like saying the Smith family is endangered because on this one block there is only one family named Archibald V. Smith, and down in this bar there's only one Maria Angelina Smith and up in Cleveland there's just a single Rooney Alexander Smith. Ya think I'm onto something here or am I just whistling in the dark? And does it even matter?

So here's a public service. Below are the names and photos of several varieties of Checkerspot Butterfly. If you or your favorite environmentalist can match the names to the appropriate photos and correctly identify which ones are endangered, I'll send you a fully mounted (photo) of your favorite (well it would hardly be PC to send a real one since they're about to disappear and all.) Be honest and don't pass your cursor over the photo to see what the tag says. That's cheating and only qualifies you for a Cabinet level position in the Obama government.

Based on my extensive research, I'm seriously questioning the  endangered nature of Familiae Checkerspottium. It's my hypotenuse that they just have a good press agent and that I'm the first one in the country to connect the spots pointing out the phallusy of their endangerment & demise.

Of course that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.


1. Bay Checkerspot Butterfly

2. Taylors Checkserspot Butterfly

3. Quino Checkerspot Butterfly

4. Chalcedon Checkerspot Butterfly

5. Sacramento Mountains Checkerspot Butterfly

6. Baltimore Checkerspot Butterfly

7. Anicia Checkerspot Butterfly

8. Texola-Elada Checkerspot Butterfly

 

A
A
B
B
  • C
  • C
  • D
  • D
  •  

    E
    E
    G
    F
    G
    G
    H
    H

    Now wasn't that fun?

     

     
    Post is included in group: AR Comedy Club
    Post is included in group: Jokes and Anything Fun Group
    Post is included in group: Politics And Real Estate
    Post is included in group: The Lounge at Active Rain
    Post is included in group: The Optimist

    16 Comments on ENDANGERED FECES! What? Oh, never mind then.

    FEB
    14
    2009

    I agree, they all look alike to me.  No I didn't name any of them so I guess I will have to stay where I am and can't have a cabinet post.

    2:51pm • #1
    1,546,105 Points 417 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

    I am of the opinion that the leadership of the environmental movement should be arrested and prosecuted for interfering with the laws of natural selection. 

    We need a new law (never thought I'd wrote those words) to regulate and prosecute humans who interfere with the evolution of species by preventing animal species to mutate and adjust to their changing environments. 

    In a world where the survival of the fittest survive, humans are contributing to the demise of species by engineering their habitat.  If left alone, they, be they butterflies or raptors will find a way to adjust to the changes in habitat, migrate to a more desirable one or become extinct and perhaps stimulate the development of a new and wonderful new fuel source. 

    Someone stop me please. 

    3:01pm • #2
    217,360 Points 33 Featured Posts

    Lenn wins the Kewpie. Amen to that. Species have been going extinct since time began usually without any help or hindrance from mankind. If they can't adapt, they'll simply go away, as nature intended. We owe our reliance on oil today to the extinction of plants and animals eons ago. The same fate will befall mankind one day as well rergardless of whether we have dual pane windows or wind turbines.

    3:10pm • #3
    961,594 Points 12 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

    Hi Gene

    Great post, what endangered in this country today are the citizens not butterflies.

    Good luck and success.

    Lou Ludwig

    3:13pm • #4
    363,214 Points

    That would be funny if it were not so insane. Kind of like libs.

    5:49pm • #5
    FEB
    15
    2009
    387,871 Points 6 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

    If development runs wild and unchecked there will be no nature left to survive. No nature eventually equals no humans. Right now our bees are dying off. You say big deal... I say yes it IS a big deal because bees pollinate flowers and crops, without crops humans will starve period. This is a very big problem and it needs to be addressed. We have to protect the wildlife from mankind and over-development.

    By the way I think you meant to say "my hypothisis...." A hypotenuse is the longest side of a right triangle, the side opposite the right angle. The length of the hypotenuse of a right triangle can be found using the Pythagorean theorem, which states that the square of the length of the hypotenuse equals the sum of the squares of the lengths of the other two sides

    A hypothesis (from Greek ὑπόθεσις) consists either of a suggested explanation for an observable phenomenon or of a reasoned proposal predicting a possible causal correlation among multiple phenomena. The term derives from the Greek, hypotithenai meaning "to put under" or "to suppose." The scientific method requires that one can test a scientific hypothesis. Scientists generally base such hypotheses on previous observations or on extensions of scientific theories.

    12:46pm • #6
    707,473 Points 36 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

    Gene.. I have a logger friend who wears a t-shirt to all the planning board meetings it says "Put the earth first...We'll log the other planet later"..What can I say, you can't make this stuff up.

    1:38pm • #8
    217,360 Points 33 Featured Posts

    Betina - Nowhere did I advocate development running wild but there needs to be a balance. Wild-eyed environmentalists don't understand the meaning of balance - it's their way or the highway (well, not the highway maybe since highways are part of the problem - but you get my drift). Do you know WHY the bees are dying off Betina? Since most experts can't seem to agree on why, I'm sure they'd like to hear from you on the subject. Let me guess - man's encroachment and pollution into the bees habitat. Except that most of the affected bees were brought into their current environment by man, who is also doing everything they can to keep them alive. Could it be, as many posit, that like red tides, lemmings and cicada's, the bee die-off is the result of a natural cycle? I'm guessing you would disagree with that hypotenuse.

    Like it or not, mankind is the dominant species on the planet right now. Wildlife needs to accommodate and if they can't they go extinct - as they have been doing for eons with and/or without mans interference. It's the law of nature, cruel & unjust as it may be just like lions in the Serengeti devouring poor helpless Gazelles. One day that law will come home to bite us in the ass as well and we'll no longer be the dominant species - may not survive at all (see my earlier rant on Green Fraud). Until then you don't shut down a town's livelihood over a theoretical butterfly. That's nonsensical.

    By the way - my use of the language is always precise. Had I meant to say hypothesis you may be assured I would have but thanks for the lesson in  Greek. I'm disappointed you didn't point out my fragrant misuse of fallacy as well. And yes, I did mean to reference poo in my title. Perhaps you are too young to remember Gilda Radner's great rants as Emily Litella on Saturday Night Live who, if I'm not mistaken, used this exact title in one of her notorious rants about endangered feces. At the end of her rant Jane Curtin would point out that the phrase was actually endangered SPECIES or whatever else she was ranting about and Emily would smile sweetly, face the camera and say "Oh, my. Well that's very different isn't it? Never mind. Bitch."

    1:42pm • #9
    217,360 Points 33 Featured Posts

    Steve - I loved the quote by a columnist in the Alamagordo (NM) Daily News regarding the butterfly crisis - " I like butterflies, especially when you catch them while they are still caterpillars. Deep fried and dipped in a little honey mustard sauce, they are delicious." I'm guessing Betina won't be laughing at either of those quotes, eh?

    1:47pm • #10
    481,309 Points 36 Featured Posts Outside Blog

    There is a time and a place for environmentalists.  I am one myself.  As with everything, it becomes dangerous when carried to an extreme and they've been doing plenty of that. 

    Please don't tell me I can't build on my land because of endangered species living there.  Let's nicely move them next door.  Animals don't mind...  Heck, we've displaced entire tribes of Indians and shoved them around like dirt.  THAT was atrocious!  Now we are gingerly tending to butterflies?  Give me a break! 

    And Pita people, please don't throw paint at me; I swear this fur is fake! 

    10:24pm • #11
    481,309 Points 36 Featured Posts Outside Blog

    Gene, this is now featured on the Optimist Group. 

    I look forward to your next one!  

    10:41pm • #12
    FEB
    16
    2009
    217,360 Points 33 Featured Posts

    Thanks Mirela - Oftentimes when you try to understand what the enviro's are up to it all comes back to 'follow the money'. We have had literally tens of thousands of acres set aside in SoCal for groups like the Butterfly, the Stephens Kangaroo Rat, the Fairie Shrimp, etc. Not only has this deprived thousands of people of their private property rights, it has contributed to the prohibitive cost of housing in the region as environmental groups demand pay-offs to allow people to build on their own parcels. Much like purchasing carbon offsets credits, if you want to build on your own parcel but it may be considered habitat, you can pay to have your habitat swapped with other land designated as habitat so as long as money changes hands, endangered species be damned. 

    This lunacy is continues in the form of land bridges - wherebye certain areas are designated as a bridge between one set-aside and another so endangered species can commute from one area to another supposedly without running into mankind. What a crock. These species, if they migrate at all, have been using the same migratory patterns for generations. Now the enviro's think that by designating these land bridges the beasties will alter their patterns. If it weren't so idiotic and costly it would be downright comical. Follow the Money - that's the road to every environmentalists true passion I'm afraid.

    1:05pm • #13
    662,713 Points 113 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Called Shot Master

    OK, now that was a GREAT post! I am new to AR, and just happened upon this group called the "optimists", and I am thinking, wow, now there is something I really could use right about now. OK, so you made me laugh, and laugh, and laugh. I don't think we have those butterflies here in CT. We do have missing bees, so I hear. Although the hives last year were very active, that I know for a fact. But more to the point, my point should I say... I didn't know real estate persons were allowed to have friends that are environmentalists... (just kidding, really) Hey, I work on a farm on the side, grow stuff, milk cows..whatever, I believe in the great outdoors, I do, I really do. How bout... let's just build responsibly. I think an acre of land for the butterflies to propagate their species is fair. Heck, we don't need an acre to propagate our species, and we are a million times bigger than the butterfly.

    7:51pm • #14
    FEB
    17
    2009
    217,360 Points 33 Featured Posts

    Andrea - thanks for stopping by and glad you got a chuckle. Sometimes we take ourselves too seriously and thank heavens for Mirela and others who give us a place to lauigh and focus on the positives in our lives.

    It's strange but many people don't realize Realtors are truly environmentalists - just not the rabid tree-hugging kind. Quality of life is the core of our business and if we lay waste to the environment we are crapping in our own nest. That's not good. Just like responsible hunters are frequently some of the most outspoken advocates for conservation,  we must strive for a balance with nature. ps. I do enjoy propagating my species in the great outdoors and am grateful for at least an acre of privacy on the rare occasion I am able to practice my craft.

    12:48pm • #15
    FEB
    18
    2009

    Leave the bugs alone and lock up the people. Jeez, some people have too much time on their hasnds.

    7:59pm • #16

    What does the graphic say?

    Leave a response…



    (optional)
    What does the graphic say?