Special offer

Time Really Does Heal ALL Pain

By
Education & Training with French Real Estate

You will have to read all the way to that final period to learn how this applies to real estate.  Sorry. 

Participants in a clinical trial had to experience an unpleasant event and then immediately write down their feelings and rate how unpleasant it was.  After several weeks had passed, the participants were asked to recall the event and rate it again.  And, then again, after several months had passed, they again were asked to recall the event and rate the experience.

What researchers learned was that as time passed, the participant's memory of the event's unpleasantness faded.  They specifically learned that if the participant was - in the present - happier, then the participant had a more positive memory of the past.  To sum that point up:  Your memory of what was is shaped largely by what is, as you become happier in the present, it seems that you must have been happier in the past.

The other major finding from the study was that: How long or how unpleasant an event is is less important than how it ends.  That must be were "All's well that end well" came from.  Ending on a high note is very important

Maybe you already figured out how to apply this information.  You had a transaction go terribly wrong...buyer angry at you....seller angry at you.  It pays to continue to mend the fences of this relationship.  Over time, they will apply your current good deeds to the transaction in the past.  Before long, they will think that the terrible transaction was the greatest event ever, and you are and were the best agent.

 

P.S. There's a down side to the way our brain handles memories in that we distort and misremember what we formerly believed.  Hindsight is not 20/20.  There is a trick to overcome this problem too.  Maybe another post entitled "20/20 Blindness"

Gail Szeluga & JoAnna Siminerio
Coldwell Banker Realty - Manalapan/Marlboro - Manalapan, NJ
Fostering Community Spirit Through Real Estate

I like how you connected it to Real Estate, but more importantly, I like that you gave me something to think about, even on a personal level.

 

Feb 15, 2009 11:34 AM
Charles Buell
Charles Buell Inspections Inc. - Seattle, WA
Seattle Home Inspector

Brian to apply the truth of what you say to another area is that there would be no second children if what you say was not true:)

Feb 15, 2009 11:36 AM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Brian, this reminds me of the good ol days thinking. It was not always so good ol days way back then, but we forget and only remember the good stuff.

Feb 15, 2009 11:51 AM
Pat Tasker
Shorewest Realtors - Germantown, WI
Your Milwaukee Metro Area Agent (WI)

I thought is was just the memory and pain fades as time goes by....just like having a baby or doing a triathlon!  Right after, you can't imagine EVER doing that again!  But as time goes by, the memory of that event fades, and the bragging rights from the race, or the joy of your child outweigh the pain and agony of the event!

Feb 15, 2009 12:18 PM
Ilyce Glink
Think Glink Media - Chicago, IL
Best-selling author, award-winning TV/radio host.

Brian- I think this is definitely true. As long as you give a person enough time, they will usually be able to look at a situation more objectively and rationally.

Feb 15, 2009 03:46 PM
Brian French
French Real Estate - Beaver Dam, WI
Evolutionary Real Estate

That's just it Ilyce,  as time passes, objectivity and rationality are out the window.  Memory can skew even your view, and your objectivity and rationality are based on your "new memory"

 

Feb 15, 2009 11:05 PM
Inna Ivchenko
Barcode Properties - Encino, CA
Realtor® • GRI • HAFA • PSC Calabasas CA

What a wise post.

I hope, Mr. French, you come back to blogging here. I really enjoy your posts.

Sep 12, 2015 04:17 PM