Fellow ActiveRain neighbors- This one is just for my own sanity, as it helps to list the things that slowly drive us just a little closer to crazy over the years. Maybe you can identify with one or more of these beauties, offered purely in jest (with a healthy dash of reality):
1. Reminding the property manager that "this is my 2nd call."
We return all business calls within 2 business hours, but this still comes up as impatient people (those whom the world clearly revolves around) will call at 11pm, then 6am, then 7am. Starting out crabby is never a good way to go.
2. "We are really clean."
9 times out of 10 this means you are anything BUT clean, as neat and tidy people never point this out; it just comes naturally.
3. "We have NEVER been evicted."
Yet. Again, good tenants don't feel the need to point out an obvious truth or seek recognition for something that your supposed to do. You should never be evicted, but just because you haven't, it doesn't mean congratulations are in order.
4. "We have the cash to move in right NOW."
Smells of desperation. A well qualified tenant assumes we, as property managers, will be verifying employment and income, so they have little reason for pointing out the obvious.
5. "We really love the place and hope we get it...God help us."
Now this is a tough one, because I consider myself a decent Christian, but I think the almighty has more important things to attend to that doctoring up a bad credit report. If credit is the issue, we encourage applicants to discuss this with us before we run the application, in the hope that we can, at the very least, spare them a wasted application fee.
6. "I have an eviction, but it was from before when I had a roommate, so it wasn't MY fault."
In life, we are often judged by the company we keep. If a rental unit is damaged or the rent is unpaid, the responsibility lies with each and every occupant, as they are all "jointly and severally liable".
7. "I have bad credit, but I went through a divorce, so it was my ex-husband's/wife's fault"
Pretty much the same as #6. We log it under the subheading "It wasn't me, except it really was".
8. "How much is the Late Fee?"
One of the worst questions an applicant can ask, as it gives us a glimpse of future headaches as yet unfelt.
9. "My boyfriend/girlfriend has an eviction, so can we just run the application under MY name?"
It amazes me how often this one comes up. Granted, I go out of my way to look more casual and approachable than most in my profession, and it pays off. People will actually confide in me with the idea being that I will help them dupe our owner client into renting a property to them. Hmmm, will I lie to my client to help you out, because I am just such a nice guy? Let me think- NO.
10. "My dog? Oh.....he's a MIX."
99% of the time, mix=pit bull. Any time I hear this one, we either review photos of the animal, or meet it in person. Non-Pit bull mixes have more specific names (i.e. labradoodle, tiny mutt, etc.). Beware the "Mix".
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