I have heard it more than once, "the trouble that you give your parents, it will come back on you 7 times over when you are a parent". Phew! there is the silver lining in my inability to have children. I was a terrible teen- no I was not just trying to turn a nice phrase here- I REALLY was aweful! If I had to raise me, I would have strangled me a long time ago. I know that sounds horrible, but I really was a terror on wheels.

I was the oldest of three children that my parents shared, and never gave much thought back then to being a good example. My mother and I just did not get along at all; but even in the midst of my tumultuousness, I was the essence of a Daddy's Girl. The sun rose and set on my Daddy! (still does, but now it's both my parents)

Their approaches were just so different, and I liked my father's approach much better. My mother yelled too much, she just always seemed to be on my case about something. I thought that she was jealous that my father and I had  such a good relationship. I just didn't like her very much from about age 12 to about 18. Well, I am 35 today and I thank God for my mother. I thank him for the wisdom that comes along with age...with life. I have grown to understand why she was-what appeared to me to be- "so hard" on me; she wanted what was best for me when I didn't have enough sense to care. 

When I thought that I knew it all and I was bad enough to do anything, she kept me in prayer and was constantly lifting me up to Jesus asking for Him to keep me covered. I feel that if I were her, I would have given up on me along time ago, but that's not what Mothers do. Mothers fight, pray, cry, pray some more, and never give up trying to help their children get on the right track.

I remember thinking when I was a young girl, I wish I had been born to my mother's sister or another one of my relatives who were what we considered "well to do". Like Tupac says "though we had it rough, we always had enough". My parents always worked really hard and did the best they could to provide for us. We may not have had all of the things that we wanted, but our needs were met.

As I look back over my life, I would not chose to be in any other family-we were so blessed to have a happy family, yes, even when I was a terrorist, we had happy times. Some kids didn't see their parents over the weekend( or some were wishing that their parents were somewhere else), because that was "party time", well many a saturday night was spent going to the movies or having a family talent night where we would sing and dance and laugh. We always laughed, even during the rough times, we were able to laugh. 

Though I gave her every reason to stop, my mother kept loving me, she kept believing in me, she kept pushing me, scolding me when necessary, but she kept being my mother when I didn't deserve her love, or even want it for that matter.  

In retrospect, I would not have made it without my mother, she shielded me from dangers that I was too young (or dumb, or a combination of the two) to be aware of. My mother's mother died when she was only seventeen months old so she doesn't know what it's like to have a loving mother. 

I feel so blessed to have been born to Geneva "Connie" McKinnon and I love her so. For all the days that you would have been more than justified to wish you had never had me, I am sorry. For the rest of our time here on earth together, I will let you know, in word and deed, 

I love you, Mommy