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Perfectionist - to be or not to be

I have recently been accused of being a perfectionist and had to do one of those "head to the side with a puzzled look" stances. So this prompted me to do a little soul searching to figure out whether this is a good or a bad trait to have.

Before I continue, this is the dictionary's definition of Perfectionist:

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source per·fec·tion·ist - [per-fek-shuh-nist] -noun

1.	a person who adheres to or believes in perfectionism.

2.	a person who demands perfection of himself, herself, or others.

-adjective

3.	of, pertaining to, or distinguished by perfection or perfectionism.

Everyone that has ever known me, including my husband, my kids my whole family, my friends and customers know this is true and have learned to expect "perfection" from me. I have very high standards for everything I produce, services I provide, as well as services provided to me.

I do admit that this could be borderline tedious for a lot of people, but it is who I am. Take it or leave it!

Since this is a business blog, I thought it would be appropriate to identify examples of my perfectionism with the hopes someone will jump out and say......you are nuts.....you are irrational......go get your head examined.......or NOT.

DISCLAIMER: I strive for perfection, but I have come to the realization that because I am human, perfection is not always possible (and I am OK with that).

I am always on time - if by any chance I am not, I will call and let the party know (I think this is a sign of respect as well).
I will be present at every showing with my customers and will not expect them to go without me (unless requested).
I will abide by everything my customers request of me unless unreasonable and I will let them know.
I will communicate on a regular basis by e-mail, telephone and in writing (no process in a listing or closing will ever be miscommunicated).
I follow up with everything I do until it is completed to my standards.
When I start something, I always finish it.
Anything I produce, marketing, drawings, sketches, letters, ads, print quality.......will be to the highest standards. (you will never see a black and white, poor quality brochure in front of our listings).
I live by the motto: "If you cannot do it right, don't do it."

I do admit that some people consider my thinking a little rigid, but tell me.....if you were looking for someone to represent you, wouldn't you want someone who strives for perfection? Or would you be happy with mediocrity? and by the way....that word makes my stomach turn. Any opinions?

And please cast your vote: LOONEY BIN NORMAL BORDERLINE INSANE OTHER

Posted by Rick & Ines - Miami Beach Real Estate on 05/15/2007 02:22 PM

Comments (93)

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Originally posted at: Miami Real Estate Blog: Perfectionist - to be or not to be

93 Comments on Perfectionist - to be or not to be

MAY

2007

Ines- you and I are very, very similar. :) I say you are NORMAL. (at least in my eyes) :)

hmmmm... I think Borderline... just kidding - this is admirably normal. Like the citing- nice touch

Ines..I am with you 100%. You are super normal in my book! Unfortunately we are a society of mediocrity.. So easy to shine in this business just be responsive and professional and one beats 90% of the people out there! You can list my property any day!!!!!!!!!!!

Debi - if we are similar, then maybe you need to be included in the vote......a perfectionist judging another doesn't work : )

Beth- LOL! did you see who's right behind you?

Randi- What do I owe the pleasure of such esteemed EWM company, one right after the other? Thanks for your comment.....and I would be honored to list your property (although your company may frown on you) hee hee!

Ines I am selectively perfectionistic. My areas of priority are faith, work, family and friends. Way high up on that list is the way we're raising our kids. I am a perfectionist about my real estate work too.

I'm not a perfectionist about housework or other things I consider of secondary importance. The house will get picked up exactly 2 hours before the cleaners come (or when company comes, whichever is first). My mom, herself a Realtor for 40 years, used to say, "I'd rather sell a piece of dirt than scrub it". Amen. I have NO domestic skills. None. Nada. Zilch. And I don't care. (I married a guy who loves to cook and has all the skills I lack. And a wall hanging in the kitchen reads: "Jim's Kitchen".)

Great post!

I'm with Mary...I'm not a perfectionist about EVERYTHING. My family, real estate work, friends, etc. - I try to be on top of everything.

However, I don't freak out if there is a spot on the floor...not at all. I do make sure everything looks "staged" before I have company over....maybe I am "borderline"....nah!!!

Ines...

I am a perfectionist, too....let's use a different word...strive to be AMAZING!! It has only a positive connotation!

Sounds normal to me... in fact those who do otherwise are possibly borderline or worse!

Well, if you consider yourself NORMAL...then so am I!! I do the same and have high expectations for myself....and on the flip side...I do expect the same from others although I can accept not all are going to be "perfect" like me...haha!

EXCELLENT - That's my vote. You didn't have it listed there so I had to write my vote in.

I like to see people set high standards and achieve them. And honestly, the items you listed are pretty standard in my book. I think that makes me a perfectionist too, but I also think that many people don't pay attention to the level of service they provide and they come to expect and get used to people who don't show up for appointments or don't return emails etc.

Ines... perfectionists are often labeled such by those who can't keep up with their high standards. It's a back handed compliment meant to slow you down, so they don't feel so bad. Normal? I don't think so. If what you wrote is normal, there'd be a lot more successful people in the world. Since there aren't, then you should consider yourself something way better than normal. When I think of you, normal is not the word that comes in my head. Outstanding is.

Mary - LOL! "selectively perfectionistic" is pretty funny...I would love for my kitchen to be called "Rick's Kitchen" but I don't think that will happen anytime soon.

Lori - we can keep dodging the question....borderline.......you're righ....NAH!

Jackie - it can get any more positive than PERFECT! Come on! although "strive to be amazing" works.

Gary - aha! another perfectionist in the house!

Sally - Welcome to the "normal" club.....maybe we can come up with a better word...I don't think I want to be normal.

Angie - thanks! I totally agree with you...that quick list is definitely our standard practice, if I start mentioning what we do above and beyond I will definitely be regarded as an "alien".

Tool boy Turner - you know just what to say to a girl to make her light up!

Ines...

My vote is on "Other" :)

I'm pretty sure this is a LEO thing. ROAR!

Tool Boy is right. People say it as a way to make themselves feel better because there ain't no way in hell they actually want to...

"Eat your dust" <insert the standard evil grin>

TLW...ROAR!

TLW - all I have to say is.....YOU ROCK!! LOL! It HAS to be a Leo thing : )

This is awesome and I believe you and I share some of the same qualities. People sometimes think that my standards are to high or that I'm a B**ch. I usually respond that my standards are this high, with my hand over my head and a smile on my face. And what's wrong with standards? Standards seem to be disappearing all the time. Nope not me.......

I definitely am not normal.....uh, what is normal?

I think I'd rather call me a "detail oriented" person...haha!

Jeff Turner nailed it right on-Thank you! Being a perfectionist is very much of a positive. It's quality, consistence, and value. It sets us apart from the rest. We leave our clients, admins, lenders, title, etc. etc. with a whole lot of clarity. We don't give anybody any reason to have blurred vision because we do it right the first time.

Beautiful
Intelligent
Touching
Caring
Human

Well gee...No wonder I have trouble thinking that word is actually an insult :)

Yah. I know. I ROCK. LOL.

TLW...ROAR!

Ines,

there is absolutely nothing wrong with demanding excellence-of yourself as well as anyone who works with you. The one thing I take issue with is the idea of perfection, I think that it is okay to strive for excellence because that is attainable, while perfection is not. As long as a proclaiming "perfectionist" understands that excellence is as good as it gets, then all is well. The key is to know that one can set a standard of excellence and accept nothing less of themself or anyone else; but perfectionism is unrealistic.

I am sure that your clients appreciate your level of dedication to everything that you touch...good for you! :-)

Ines with the Finesse.. i was going to just say 'loooon-eeeeeey'.. but then Jt$ makes an excellentisimo (©nick) comment.. and followed by TLW's acronym. (does that apply to masculine men also, becuase nick is also bea,intel,touchy,caring,hunk of a little dude... anyways..

so, i'll go with 'special'. which is a good thing. :) multisimo especiale!!!

nick is special too :) he told me so!!

btw, i think your turning into a geek with the grey table and all!! :)vw)

Dena - I am one too....and PROUD of it!

TLW : ) back at ya!

Sally - normal is not good - call me anything but normal

Julie - you go girl!

TLW - LOVE IT!!! not an insult in my book.

Gwendolyn - you need to have your feet planted on the ground with solid expectations - but I have to tell you that perfection is possible in certain situations (look at a sunrise from South Beach.....absolutely incredible....and perfect!)

Nick - I'm learning from you...my special geek friend....and the acronym can definitely apply to a guy, especially one who is bea, intel,touchy,caring....I don't know about hunk, and I will not even go into the little dude thing.

Ines - I am a perfectionist but not in the sense that I have to be perfect. I think that I am more on the line of a perfectionist of what I can do. If I attempt something - I wont finish until I know that I did everything the BEST that I can! I actually think some days that I exhaust myself.

Here is the sad part - I feel upset when others don't put as much blood and sweat into something that they can.

Ohh and btw - you are a bit looney,,,, :>

Christine - LOL! It takes one to know one! ; ) (that felt like a statement from my 10 year old)

Folks the comment thread on this post is HILARIOUS

ok, i think Nick set me up on that one. i'll have to have a chat with him. :) thanks for throwing gas on his fire! :))

and btw, i'm rubber your glue..

I totally agree TLW - the thread is very funny

Now Nicky Mississippi - please tell Nick not to be mean! the rubber and glue comment went way over my head!

I'm afraid of all of you :)

BB - AS YOU SHOULD BE!!!

I think I strive to be a perfectionist; I try my best at everything I do.

Dear Broker Bryant, now aren't you glad women are in charge?

I am border line perfectionist, but not negative, I hate the word. I just do what is the best interest of my client and respect them to my upmost ability

I think being a perfectionist can paralyze a person into taking action.

I know an agent who takes a project and gets ready ready ready, then she aims aims aims. But she never seems to fire. I strive for excellence but also am a believer in "JUST DO IT". I give 100% but 98% of perfect is often good enough. Sometimes just showing up or being there is enough. The person sitting at home perfecting something might miss the big prize.

Now ...that all being said, some people consider me a perfectionist. I am always on time. I have everyone fooled. Missing a coma once in awhile doesn't bother me at all and as I get older I realize life is too short to be perfect. I sleep much better having learned this.

Carole - I think we have some real WOMAN power in this thread!

Dena - Ha! I'm sure he is more than glad!

Missy - borderline perfectionist or borderline insane....come on...fess up!

Linda - man.....you hit it right on the nail.....that's is certainly food for thought.

Ines,

There's nothing wrong in being a perfectionist. I bet it has served you well in our business. I'd label you a normal perfectionist. But, where you could run into a challenge is expecting others to be perfectionists as well. Separation here is important because we all are different.

Man, Jeff Turner always has the eloquent response. Ines, I lit up for you at his beautiful words.

Hmm...Funny... Nick's words... "I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you." I haven't heard that in years!

Cute Ines,

I like that! There are some mid summer cool breezes here in SC that are as close to perfect as it gets!

NORMAL! This is exactly the way to be....no other way to do it! Keep up the GREAT work!

Nothing wrong with having high standards. It's folks with high standards that contribute so much to our society, our business, our families and our community.

Keep your standards high and let the slobs of the world watch your smoke.

Looney tune, er bin

Esko - I expect others to aim for perfection only when I am involved, or when I hire them to complete certain tasks or provide certain services - I tell them ahead of time what my expectations are so there are no surprises - in the construction industry I used to walk around with a level (that's why I included an image of one) - contractors used to take a deep breath when I started checking.....but you better believe they would use one in my jobs.

Debi - YEAH!!! you got nicky mississippi's elementary school reference! That is soo cool! I'm so glad someone's paying attention too.

Gwendolyn - I think you got the picture : )

Vickie - NOOOOoooo! Not Normal.......come on, give me something else!

Lenn - AMEN TO THAT!! Reach high and aim high, there's no other way.

Ines, You are definately an ... OTHER - Unfortunately "Normal" has come to be associated with less than desirable standards. There is nothing wrong with doing things the right way. Any one who looks down on your standards must have their standards too low.

Ines - funny thing, I'm a Leo, too......and am very much like you in the things you wrote. I've been told over and over I'm a perfectionist, and I guess I am. For me, that can be a detriment, as I expect others to do the same, and they don't usually. In being a perfectionist, at times I suffer from what Linda described, too, not often but certainly once in awhile.

LEO - must be what TLW said, huh??

Ann

Oh, and one last thing, I like the hunk of a little dude......yep, I do! ;-)
Little Nicky Pineapple.....

Ann

Ann - LOL!!!

Mariana - I do think it's about standards and I usually get along with people who set theirs high - and I go out of my way to help those with very low ones.....it's my nature....and funny is that I think all the "ladies of the rain" have the same type of standards, that's why we get along so great with TLW as the leader, can't get any better than that!

Ines...Keep on keepin' on! I'd want to work with a perfectionist. Of course, I'm one as well so maybe we're both nuts. But hey, it works, right?

Regards...Jay

With a husband and a daughter who are Perfectionists, I can certainly relate to your post. Most of your bullet points are really just good business, rather than being specific to Perfectionists:

being on time
accompanying your clients on showings
communicating regularly with your clients
finishing what you start

We certainly strive for quality productions as well - after all, it is part of our branding.

The problem with some Perfectionists, I think, is the procrastination that often accompanies it - that no mailing gets sent out, because it's not perfect; that the blog doesn't get posted, because it isn't perfect; that the plan doesn't get executed, because it isn't perfect.

It's like so many things in life - a fine line between what's good, and what's too much of good.

Ann - a LEO??? and you had this hidden! I need to find out what day, we may have to have a big LEO bash! Oh...and I won't dare calle Nicky Mississippy a hunk, unless I want BIG NICK to kick my behind!

Jay - AHA! another one! isn't this a great world! We need to make a club and just find our kind to work together.

Sharon - I totally agree, those bullets are standard practice and nothing else - and defines again our high standards. I've never suffered the procrastination bit.....I get it done, get less sleep if necessary, just my nature. If I have any doubts that it will not be completed to my standards, then there has to be an alternative. You make great points.

Ines - the 11th, and LEO bash sounds like great fun!

Sharon made a great point in her comment about some problems with perfectionists, in particular trying for perfect blogs that then don't get published. Guilty on that one - I do suffer from analysis paralysis - a form of procrastination? Never thought of it that way. I just always thought I suffered from over-analyzing things before taking action. I am the hardest on myself, but I do get annoyed, ever so slightly, when others that I count on aren't the same way on things.

Big Nick and Little Nick - hmmmmm........still cute!

Excellent....stellar....exemplary....PERFECT! :o)

Ann - this ones' for everyone who get annoyed at perfection. (my 10 year old just e-mailed it to me)

Vickie - much better!!! THAT's what I'm talking about!

Hilarious doesn't even begin to define that link. THAT WAS REALLY REALLY FUNNY.

God I love this post :)

Sorry Ines...I really needed a good long laugh today and between my crap post and this post I have cheered myself up :)

I knew you would like that TLW!! I played it at least 5 times!

Ines - that was really funny!!! And to think your TEN year old sent that to you - how cute is that!!! They love their Mama! ;-)

I'm waiting for that Leo Bash - yep, I am!

Ann

Oh - and now I can't get it out of my head!! I keep singing it with a whiny voice - oh no!! What does TLW have to say about THE LEO BASH? La la la la la la......la la la la la

Ines, I bet we would drive each other nuts, because I am the same way. My wife after 33 years has finally stopped asking me "who will know that it isn't perfect", because she knows the answer will be "I Will Know!"

George - that's just what my other half says to me, too...and he knows darn well my answer will be just as yours is.

OK, we're NOT Looney bin, not at all! ;-)

Ann

Looneys...all looneys! mentally deranged!

;-)

Ines PERFECT! - need I say more?

Well you know I do have more to say (LOL)... Those are all great traits and I'm with Sharon as long as it's not paralyzing it actually creates the uniqueness that's YOU!!! Fabulous post. :-)

Thanks Cyndee - I always admire people with high standards and it was a first to be critized for it.

Sorry, Ines, but I don't see this as perfectionism. To me it is doing the job you are expected to do, following-up on what you should, doing what you say you are going to so, and so forth. Are you perfectgionistic - nope, not in my book. You are doing what you should, adhering to your standards, and setting a standard that others should follow. People who are really perfectionists often don't get things done, because they are never satisfied; no one can do it as well as they, no one can help them,and so on.

So keep doing what you are doing. You are perfect just as you are!! :)

Jeff

We always owe our clients the highest level of service that we can deliver, and to some degree that can be called perfectionism. Where it spills over into daily activities and interferes with enjoying life, that can get a little obsessive, so it's OK to relax once in awhile and just enjoy the moment. From reading your blog, I think you have a real good balance.

MAY

2007

My vote is: You are a LOONEY BIN NORMAL BORDERLINE INSANE OTHER all at the same time and that's what makes you perfect!

The only troubling statement you have made is: "I live by the motto: "If you cannot do it right, don't do it."-the only question I have about that is if you really believe in that statement then how did you become so perfect? last I checked most of us on this planet are learning and growing by making mistakes and failing-like not doing it right-LOL

To Your Succes,

Coach Steve

Hmmm I arrived a little late on this thread. Must have been going on while I was putting the touches ont he flyers, making follow calls, finishing the final closing details...Oh No...does this sound a bit like a perfectionist? Count me in as a crazy! Just kidding- you're Top Shelf ! ;-)

TLW is wrapping her around what kind of "looney" idea she can come up for a "Leo" bash...

Hmmm. Looney and Bash go very well together. Yes?

Oh. I forgot to mention that I think it sounds "Purr-Fect" :)

TLW...ROAR!

Ines~

I have had a blast reading all the comments...Bryant's afraid of us (HOHO)... Lenn made a great point about standards of excellence...Steve said..you/we are all of this at the same time....As I read the comments, I felt the energy of a vital community you inspired, an energy that made my day. Thanks!

(from this Leo in Asheville)...

Jeff - you are so sweet - GO JEFF!!

John - I appreciate that....I do think achieving that balance is a difficult challenge and I am working on that.

Steve- you do make a point and understand why my statement can be taken out of context by this is what I mean by that - and I'm surprised you are the first to catch that. When we take a listing, we will do absolutely everything in our power to get it sold, all the marketing will be to the highest standards...if at any point I think that the seller's expectations cannot be met, I will not take the listing (I rather decline the listing that disappoint a customer).

Yes we learn from our mistakes, there is no doubt about it - but I take every step necessary to correct the mistake when it happens. As I said, I strive for perfection but understand I'm human - I think a good way to judge good character is not by the mistakes that are made, but how a person handles those mistakes.

Allison - so nice to see you here....welcome to the borderline club!

TWL - WOO HOO!!! I love Looney bashes! Any other LEO's we should know about?

janeAnn - how did I almost miss you! OH NO! Another Leo! (but I should have guessed that). Here's a "cabbage patch" for you! I totally agree - this is a great community and LOVE when everyone pitches in their $.02 to reinforce how insane we really are!

MAY

2007

One from the nuns that will not leave my brain "Anything worth doing is worth doing WELL". Perfect...no. Well..yes. I'm not a perfectionist, I Obsessive/Compulsive.

Ardell.....not nun stories......I thank my parents for not sending me to parochial schools but my kids were not so lucky. The principal of my kids' school is the coolest nun I have ever met. OCD, huh? Welcome to the club.

MAY

2007

Ines- BTW- I am a Leo too. :)

Debi - what day? You're going to have to join our Leo Bash - lots of Leo's coming out....imagine the energy?

MAY

2007

Normal to me is having a well-balanced life. I've never achieved that. I'm driven to achieve the highest level of quality I'm capable of. I'm definitely not a perfectionist as that is an absolute standard. What I expect of myself is the absolute best that I am capable of. As as result, I do not have a well rounded life. I have put my work first many more times that I should. I admire people who are normal. I know I'm not, but I'm the kind of agent I'd hire if I had to hire an agent for myself. My cell phone is always on for my clients.

Nope, I can't put you in the normal category either, but that's not a negative in my book. You've achieved much more balance in your life than I have and I admire you for that. Does the perfection standard give you pleasure or cause frustration (I've always wanted to ask a perfectionist that, don't feel obligated to answer).

I haven't met too many "normal" people. The ones I have met a boring.

Gail - having a goal for a well-balanced life is one we all should have (even the perfectionists) - Thanks for not calling me normal and can tell you that yes...striving for perfection or my high standards do cause frustration. A perfect example is someone providing a service to me that can never reach my expectations....if they try their hardest, I will be satisfied, but if they don't.......FRUSTRATION does not even begin to describe how I feel. Perfection also gives me pleasure....when my child says "I don't wan to be in accelerated math mom, it's too hard and I will have too much work"....and then they come home with straight A's....that's not only striving for perfection, but getting there!

Ardell - HA! I totally agree.

MAY

2007

You go girl! Obsessively reliable is a hard to beat trait!

Sandra....I love that....."obsessively reliable" - I'm going to have to use that one! : )

OCT

2007

that list makes sense to me, but I have been accused of being a perfectionist more than once-

B&B - but it makes us better professionals and that's what the consumer is looking for....not mediocrity.

OCT

2007

I am proud to be one too! They are just jealous...:)

I have learned since this one....that we are all a big dysfunctional bunch of people (that's BB talking) but you know what? Dysfuntional is normal....being unperfect is normal..how's that?

that doesn't apply to me SAlly......see.....I'm perfect! : )

Oh noo....not this again. Get off your pedastal little girl! :)

<pouting> ok....you're no fun : (

The days are winding down for good weather and I feel like I never got to enjoy the summer. I worked so damn hard through the whole season. Well we bought a 24 foot sailboat and I plan to take some time off next summer and enjoy it. I've got a great assistant now who is taking so much of the burden off of me. There may be a sliver of hope for normalcy for me yet.

OCT

2007

Good for you Gail - I'm not there yet.....but I did enjoy the Summer and did a lot of boating. I find Normalcy starts when school begins and the kids are back into a routine.

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