Special offer

In Honor and Memory of "DAD"

By
Education & Training with Retired Executive Director of Education at eXp Non-Licensed

Yesterday was without a doubt, one of the hardest days ever for us here in the Andersohn home.  My family and I attended my Father-in-laws Memorial Service.  Neither my wife nor I have ever lost a parent, so this has been a most difficult time for us and our family.  FRED WAYNE HILL passed away on Valentines Day.  It has taken this long for us to grieve and to deal with the emotional and physical loss of a great man.

Fred was born in Naples, Texas on August 9th, 1936 to Robert and Mattie Hill.  He and Linda Lee (my Mother-in-law) were married August 27th, 1955.  They had three children, Cheryl, Debra, and Fred Jr.  Fred loved fishing, and he was also very accomplished at his much loved hobby, woodworking.  Fred drove a truck for a living and tried retiring twice, once from Insured Transporters, and finally from Biaga Brothers.  His favorite song of all time was "Unchained Melody" by the Righteous Brothers.  He loved camping, travel, and spending time with his family and friends more than anything else on earth.

Losing anyone in life seems so unfair, but to lose your Dad is earth shattering.  In his last days, we were fortunate to visit him many times in the Hospital.  My wife and I had the chance to talk with him, laugh with him, share their memories of the good times, and come to terms with the not so good times.  This was a blessing for both my wife and her father, and for me too, since I got to be there to witness all this.

Though Fred had been my father in law for more than 12 years, I felt that we never really got the chance to be close.  For whatever reason, we just never really made the time to connect and spend time together.  Our relationship was more of a cordial one, only visiting during Holidays and on special occasions.  I wish I had made more of an effort to get closer to him and share more of our lives together.

On my last visit to the Hospital, my wife and I were ready to leave, and I did something I had never done before.  I hugged Fred, and told him that I loved him.  This was the first time he ever hugged me back and said I love you too.  It was always just a hand shake and a smile.   For the first time in our history, I felt like all the walls and barriers that had been built up over time, came tumbling and crashing down.

This was a very special moment that I will remember always, my only true regret... I never called him Dad.

So with that, I want to say... Fred, you were a good man.  You worked hard to provide for your family and raised three beautiful children.  You loved your wife and family, and you showed it through your actions and not just your words.  You set the standard high for being a good "father!"  You also made me realize and learn a very important life lesson, to never wait that long to tell those you care about that you love them. 

So until we meet again one day, may you rest in eternal peace and comfort.  You are loved and will be warmly remembered and missed by all.  Goodbye "Dad"

Comments (88)

Hannah Williams
HomeStarr Realty - Philadelphia, PA
Expertise NE Philadelphia & Bucks 215-820-3376

BRAD...I am so sorry...you have my deepest sympathy..I know what it is like to lose a parent I have lost both of mine...My heart goes out to you and your family....

Mar 23, 2009 01:42 PM
Kim Dean
www.GoSimplyTexas.com - McKinney, TX
Simply Texas Real Estate - Broker/Owner

Brad - what a beautiful tribute. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

Mar 23, 2009 01:53 PM
Kathy Toth
Ann Arbor Market Center Keller Williams - Ann Arbor, MI
Ann Arbor Real Estate Experts - Kathy Toth Team

My heartfelt condolences to you Brad and your wife on the loss of your Dad.  There really aren't words that can express how one feels at a time like this.  It is just really nice to know that you are not alone!

Kathy

Mar 23, 2009 02:00 PM
Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty
Bucci Realty, Inc. - Melbourne, FL
Eighteen Years Experience in Brevard County

Very nice tribute to "Dad." I was very lucky to have a father in law who was more like a dad. I still miss him.

Mar 23, 2009 03:19 PM
Brenda Harmon
Century 21 Beal, Inc College Station, Texas - College Station, TX

Brad,

I am sorry for your loss.  I am so glad that you gave him that hug. 

Mar 23, 2009 04:48 PM
Maggie Dokic /Indialantic | 321-252-8696
Magdalena Dokic - Indialantic, FL
Selling the beach in Florida's space coast

Brad, this is a lovely tribute to your father-in-law.  You have my condolences.  I just watched a re-run of Frasier where the whole episode was about Frasier wanting to hear "I love you," from his Dad.  Three tiny little words supercharged with feeling and emotion.  So glad you and Fred were able to exchange them.

Mar 23, 2009 09:59 PM
Tere Rottink
CoastalVa Realty Inc - Virginia Beach, VA

Brad:  I read this the day you posted it, but as I was in tears, I couldn't comment.  My own father passed away about six months ago, and for crazy reasons, ( I lost my passport ) I wasn't even able to make it to the funeral.  I had seen him about six months prior, and I still feel that there was so much left unsaid. I never knew what to tell people in this situation, but now I know that just saying something is better than nothing.

I am truly sorry for your loss, and please pass along my sentiments to all your family.  Be gratefull for the time you had.

Tere

PS.  Thanks for sharing.

Mar 24, 2009 04:59 AM
Lee & Pamela St. Peter
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices YSU Realty: (919) 645-2522 - Raleigh, NC
Making Connections to Success in Real Estate

Thanks Debra & Brad for sharing the celebration of your Dad's life with us.  And how blessed all of you were to be able share your love with each other and to have been given the chance to express it out loud... Although his years were short here on earth his enduring love for his family and life is so apparent.  Our thoughts and prayers are with all of you.  May you find some peace and comfort in your Dad's love that lives on in you 

Mar 24, 2009 06:11 AM
Valorie Stover, Realtor for Casta del Sol
Casta del Sol Real Estate / HomeSmart Everygreen Realty - Mission Viejo, CA
Mission Viejo,CA, Active Adult Community!

Brad I know the feeling your wife and you must be experiencing, having lost my parents young. It has been 40 years since my mother passed away and there are still times when I know she is watching over us.

Having had the love of Debra's dad will stay with you both forever. My Blessing to you.

Mar 24, 2009 07:55 AM
Rosalinda Morgan
Brookville, NY
"The Rose Lady"

Brad - So sorry to hear of your loss.  This is a beautiful tribute to your father-in-law.  My thoughts and prayers go to you and Debra.  God Bless. 

Mar 24, 2009 09:11 AM
Lori Churchill Cofer
Beasley Realty - Pullman, WA
Realtor - 509-330-0086 - Pullman, WA

Brad,

You wrote a beautiful tribute and I know your father-in-law would appreciate it...and I am sure it means a great deal to your wife.  My deepest sympathy to you and your family.  I understand your pain.  I lost my mother at 15 and my Dad has been gone now for 9 years.  I miss them terribly and always will.  But I also know I live on through them...

Mar 24, 2009 10:21 AM
Gina Zimmerman
North Eastern Group Realty - Fort Wayne, IN
Fort Wayne Real Estate

What a beautiful tribute to your dad.  Wow!  I have lost both of my parents and it is so hard.  That hug will  be the most precious gift he ever gave to you.  enjoy those precious memories and God speed. 

Mar 24, 2009 11:52 AM
Rebecca Gaujot, Realtor®
Lewisburg, WV
Lewisburg WV, the go to agent for all real estate

Brad, so sorry for your loss.  That was a very touchng tribute.  It is indeed hard to lose a parent.  Both my parents are deceased, and I think of them every day..

Mar 24, 2009 01:44 PM
Shonnie Luquer
First Carolina, REALTORS - Havelock, NC

Brad,  I am so sorry for the loss your family has experienced.  The loss of one's parent(s) is in fact earth-shattering and an event you never really get over.  However, you and your wife were blessed to have had the special time you spent with him and over time you will find yourself returning to those moments with great fondness.  Those times will also provide you with an immense amount of comfort knowing that he knew he was loved and that you were there to help him in his journey.

May you be blessed with peace and wonderful memories for many years to come.

Mar 25, 2009 12:14 PM
Laura Higgins
ERA Advantage Realty - Sebring, FL

Brad,

I am very sorry to hear about the passing of your father in law.  It was fortunate that you were able to say goodbye and let him know you loved him.  Again my deepest sympathies.

Mar 26, 2009 12:16 AM
Alexander Harb
Knights Investing - Mesquite, TX
Dallas, Texas Real Estate Investing

I wish you had posted this in, "Christianity and Real Estate", bro...I would have seen it quicker...AND you would have a LOT of prayer......come to think of it...this will be my first RE-BLOG...and that is what I am gonna do....

Hmmm... this post is not available to re-blog...... and I understand......

Can I post quotes from it to let the group know.......??

Please let me know, Brad......

 

Alex

Mar 27, 2009 04:55 PM
Brad Andersohn
Retired Executive Director of Education at eXp - Boulder Creek, CA
ActiveBrad - 707.646.1876

Alex - thanks my friend, I'll change it now....

Mar 28, 2009 02:46 AM
Rita Bradley
Laguna Hills, CA
Valuation Consultant in Orange County California 949-916-3263

Brad, I'm sorry about your father-in-law.  I've lost 4 precious men in the last year and a half (Wonderful Dad, Fun-loving Father-in Law, Beloved Uncle and Dear Brother)  and I can relate to what you said about bariiers coming down.  Life is short.  It's important to enjoy our family and friends while we can. 

Mar 28, 2009 04:01 AM
Gita Bantwal
RE/MAX Centre Realtors - Warwick, PA
REALTOR,ABR,CRS,SRES,GRI - Bucks County & Philadel

I am sorry to reaad about the loss . This is a beautiful tribute to your Father in law. It brought tears to my eyes. I am sure the hug in the hospital conveyed the sentiment. He knew you meant to say Dad.

Mar 29, 2009 03:07 AM
Maureen McCabe
HER Realtors - Columbus, OH
Columbus Ohio Real Estate

I did not see this at the time Brad, but as I am scouring your blog for a particular post..  I am sincerely sorry for your loss.  You wrote atouching  tribute to your father-in-law, my deepest sympathy to your wife and the rest of the family.

Apr 03, 2009 12:52 AM