funny: Optimist vs. Pessimist - 12/20/13 09:07 PM



A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, the other a doom and gloom pessimist.
Just to see what would happen, on the twins' birthday their father loaded the pessimist's room with every imaginable toy and game. The optimist's room he loaded with horse manure.
That night the father passed … (4 comments)

funny: Christmas Shopping - 12/19/13 09:50 PM
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offense," said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.
 
 
 
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funny: Worst Gifts to Buy a Woman - 12/18/13 10:03 PM


No name perfume which charges you $1.99, such as Eu de Toilet, which actually smells like the bathroom, moldy fruit, or your dirty socks. If you are going to purchase her perfume, spring for the brand names. Do not give her gift certificate to Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers. Most men would know better, especially the ones who have learned the correct answer to "do these pants make me look fat." If you are one of the poor souls who still doesn't get it and bought a gift like this, be ready for the silent treatment for a month. … (3 comments)

funny: No Christmas Bonus - 12/08/13 09:36 PM
Ten signs you're not getting a Christmas bonus:

10. Co-workers refer to you as "the ghost of unemployment future"
9. The last time you saw your boss was when he testified against you at the embezzlement trial
8. On your door, you find a lovely wreath of pink slips
7. What you call "my new office," everybody else calls "the supply closet"
6. Boss's Christmas card says, "Don't let the door hit you on the way out"
5. You keep getting memos reminding you that employees are required to wear pants
4. When your boss came over for Thanksgiving, … (0 comments)

funny: Great Truths - 10/06/13 02:32 AM
Great Truths That Little Children Have Learned:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
4) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
Great Truths That Adults Have Learned:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's … (3 comments)

funny: Funny Sunday - 07/08/12 12:19 AM
 
Let us enjoy the weekend everyone.  Here are some funny jokes that I hope will make your day.
 
 
 
The captain of the Titanic gathers his passengers and tells them: “I have some news for you: one is bad and one is good. Which one do you want to hear first?” “The bad one!” “In the next couple of hours the ship will break in two and sink!” “And what about the good news?” “We’ll get 11 Oscars for that!”
 
A guy talks to his friend: “You know, I got really unlucky with both of my wives!” … (2 comments)

funny: Just for Laughs! - 07/01/12 03:10 AM
Here is something I hope will give you a laugh..Because it did to me.
A broker was dismayed when a brand new real estate office much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read 'BEST AGENTS.' He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading 'LOWEST COMMISSIONS.' The broker panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own real estate office. It read: 'MAIN ENTRANCE' 
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funny: Are You Serious?! - 06/09/12 10:47 PM
I found this funny (absurd?) pictures of real estate agents and can't help but to share it here.  Hope you'll enjoy too!
 
I think this one is joking...right?

A VERY hard working guy! He never sleeps! Rod Stewart is that you?

Very Creative!

Hey..We are not assuming anything..right?

And now!..The power of real estate signs finally discovered!


 
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San Diego Realtor, San Diego Homes, Motivated Realtor, La Jolla Homes, Chula Vista … (7 comments)

funny: Wrong Flower! - 06/06/12 12:25 AM
 
I found this funny short story and can't help but to share it here.  I hope it will make your day too.

 
 
 
A client bought a new home and the broker wanted to send flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the home and the owner read the card; it said "Rest in Peace". The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist said. "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry you should … (3 comments)

funny: Funny Listings! - 06/03/12 09:50 PM
Try and work for it!

This is your private travel dreams in your personal throne!
I don't think this is boring!

You must be alive,alert and enthusiastic before you can even head downstairs.

In a hurry? No problem!

It's a special feature!

 
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San Diego Realtor, San Diego Homes, Motivated Realtor, La Jolla Homes, Chula Vista Homes, Del Mar Homes, Rolling Hills Homes Eastlake Homes, Kensington homes, Beach Front Property, Pacific Beach Homes, … (3 comments)

funny: Just a Little Laugh - Funny Scared Pics - 05/26/12 10:44 PM
 1.2.
3.
 
4.
5.
 
 
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San Diego Realtor, San Diego Homes, Motivated Realtor, La Jolla Homes, Chula Vista Homes, Del Mar Homes, Rolling Hills Homes Eastlake Homes, Kensington homes, Beach Front Property, Pacific Beach Homes, Bonita Homes, Jason Stewart, Stewart Estates, Stewart Estates Team, Southbay Realtor, North county homes, SD Homes, San Diego, San Diego County, Gaslamp Properties, San Diego Properties, San Diego Condos, La Jolla Living, Luxury Living, Realtors that care, San Diego Foreclosures, … (2 comments)

funny: Funny Exam Answers - 05/17/12 12:21 AM
The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible,Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children,Cain, asked, “Am I my brother’s son?”
 
Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.
 
Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career … (0 comments)

funny: Funny Criminals - 04/10/12 01:29 AM

10. Strike one! England: A German "tourist," supposedly on a golf holiday, shows up at customs with his golf bag. While making idle chatter about golf, the customs official realizes that the tourist does not know what a "handicap" is. The customs official asks the tourist to demonstrate his swing, which he does--backward! A substantial amount of narcotics was found in the golf bag.
9. "Hello? Guns for hire?" Arizona: A company called "Guns for Hire" stages gunfights for Western movies, etc. One day, they received a call from a 47-year- old woman, who wanted to have her husband killed. … (1 comments)

funny: Funniest Newspaper Headlines Ever! - 03/08/12 12:10 PM
And you wonder why...
 

 
"We had no idea anyone was buried there"


 
Please, if you've seen this man... 



What are the odds of that? 
 

 
Mistress of the universe.. Now that sounds like a lot of work!
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Here's the winner of a local dog look-alike contest... He does look exactly like his dog!

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
What goes around, comes around!

(0 comments)

funny: Funny Excuse for Being Late - 03/07/12 06:56 PM
Found this list of funny excuses for being late for work. I know none of you would ever need these excuses... just thought they were ...amusing.
1.  I'm very glad you asked that question; because that brings us right back to the issue of .....
2.  You should have told be to be here on time.
3.  I won't be coming in to work today. My wife informed me that she is going to conceive today, and I really want to be there when it happens.
4.  My car ran out of gas on the way to work. I … (2 comments)

funny: The Funniest Kids Test Answers Of All Time - 03/07/12 06:54 PM
Expand...right? Technically, she's right.Best Class Evaluation Ever?
Yeah..I can see it too.
How could you posibbly answer the hidden question?Protected!
Just following instruction..
(3 comments)

funny: Funny Road Signs - 03/06/12 07:02 PM
He’s an unfortunate irony – or perhaps the result of a road maintenance
worker with a sense of humour?  Either way, the “end” result is clear.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Most helpful!  So…… where is Tahquitz Canyon?
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
                                                 what! sand! where! where!  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
     Hey...I wasn't expecting that  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
You go first...I'll follow...a LONG way behind  
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
   The road to laughter  
 
 
 
 
 
(3 comments)

funny: Funny ENGLISH Signs - 03/05/12 07:28 PM
                 Men need to be gentle when going to this public restroom in Hong Kong.
                You should see his bicycle.
         Here is a t-shirt that somehow escaped the Disney spellchecking team.
       Finally, a bank that will improve your overall well being.
       I know if I was on fire, I probably wouldn't take the lift either.
         The restaurants might give you more than you expected.
There's no point insulting customers for wanting to relax a bit.
Garbage should be allowed to return to its home, don't you think?
How about a line of toys for kids that … (5 comments)

 
Jason Stewart, Realtor (Stewart Estates)

Jason Stewart

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San Diego, CA

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