jason stewart realtor: That's True! - 06/18/14 12:28 AM
·         Sometimes you'll look down at your watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
 
·         Always wear nice underwear, you never know when you might get lucky or need a doctor.
 
·         Someday you will miss Today
 
·         Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
 
·         Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how living remains so popular?
 
·         You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
 
·         You never know when it will strike, but there … (0 comments)

jason stewart realtor: Brain Teasers: Can you guess it? I don't think so! - 06/16/14 11:52 PM
1. Who makes it, has no need of it. Who buys it, has no use for it. Who uses it can neither see nor feel it. What is it?
 
2. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?
 
3. Look in my face and I am someone.  Look in my back I am no one. What am I?
 
4. What belongs to … (0 comments)

jason stewart realtor: Christmas Shopping - 12/19/13 09:50 PM
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offense," said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.
 
 
 
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jason stewart realtor: No Christmas Bonus - 12/08/13 09:36 PM
Ten signs you're not getting a Christmas bonus:

10. Co-workers refer to you as "the ghost of unemployment future"
9. The last time you saw your boss was when he testified against you at the embezzlement trial
8. On your door, you find a lovely wreath of pink slips
7. What you call "my new office," everybody else calls "the supply closet"
6. Boss's Christmas card says, "Don't let the door hit you on the way out"
5. You keep getting memos reminding you that employees are required to wear pants
4. When your boss came over for Thanksgiving, … (0 comments)

jason stewart realtor: Things To Say About Gifts You Don't Like - 12/04/13 09:43 PM

10. Boy, if I had not recently shot up three sizes, that would've fit.
9. It would be a shame if the garbage man ever accidentally took this from me.
8. Perfect for wearing in the basement.
7. Well, well, well...
6. I really don't deserve this.
5. Gosh, I hope this never catches fire!
4. I Love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.
3. If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!
2. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the federal witness protection program.
1. To think I got this the year … (6 comments)

jason stewart realtor: Sensitive! - 11/30/13 11:46 PM
A man walked into his backyard one morning and found there was a gorilla in a tree. He called a gorilla-removal service, and soon a serviceman arrived with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun.
"Now listen carefully," he told the homeowner, "I'm going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until he falls to the ground. The trained Chihuahua will then go right for his, uh, sensitive area, and when the gorilla instinctively crosses his hands in front to protect himself, you slap the handcuffs on"
"Ok, got it." the … (5 comments)

jason stewart realtor: Communication that Gen Y Will Notice - 11/16/13 10:40 PM
If you're like most of my clients, you're hungry to work with that powerful Generation Y demographic as both potential customers and as employees. But, like many of the business coaches, leaders and authors I work with, you still may be pounding your head against a wall when trying to connect with them. Why? If I had to guess, I'd say you're probably communicating with them in the ways you prefer to communicate. Bad idea!
Generation Y, also known as the Millennials, are roughly between the ages of 18 and 30 and are the first Internet generation. They text before they … (4 comments)

jason stewart realtor: Memory - 11/06/13 11:58 PM
Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other,
"Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"
"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techiniques-visulization, association-it made a huge difference for me."
"That's great! What was the name of the clinic?"
Fred went blank he thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked,
"What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"
"You mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's it!"
He turned to his wife. . ."Rose, what was … (1 comments)

jason stewart realtor: Networking NO-NOs! - 10/21/13 11:05 PM
We often hear and give how-to networking advice.
However, I want to focus on some networking “no-nos” to help us become aware of mistakes that many of us make—often without even realizing it.Don’t talk too much If this is a downfall in your personal life, then chances are you are making this mistake in your business life as well. The most successful networking occurs when you let your partner lead the conversation—and you talk little about yourself.When you ask lots of questions about their industry and what exactly it is that they do, you’ll end up learning a great deal … (1 comments)

jason stewart realtor: 5 Business Lessons Learned in the Boxing Ring - 10/12/13 12:45 AM
 
1 – Keep Moving Forward
Although success in boxing is heavily dependent upon skill and the perfection of the craft, anyone can be broken. It’s hard to defend against someone who keeps punching, and who keeps moving forward; it becomes as much a battle of wills as it does a battle of stamina, strength, and skill.
The same is true with life. Many of the greatest success stories in history are of those people who kept working. We never hear about the guy who quit, but the guy who persists and perseveres becomes a legend.
Thomas Edison failed more than … (1 comments)

jason stewart realtor: You Reap What You Sow! - 10/11/13 11:39 PM
 
A successful business man was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business.
Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together.
He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided to choose one of you. "The young executives were shocked, but the boss continued. "I am going to give each one of you a SEED today - one very special SEED. I want you to … (2 comments)

jason stewart realtor: The Power of Less - 10/09/13 12:24 AM
Have you ever cleaned out your closet or done some spring cleaning and felt a burden lifted that you never even knew was there?
That’s the power of less. I see it all the time. When a couple downsizes from a 4000 Sq Ft Home to a 2 bedroom condo, or when the family with 5 cars condenses to 2 vehicles. The relief people get from getting rid of things you don’t need, is mentally satisfying and believe it or not,  physically healthy.
We’re raised (especially in America) to believe that the goal is to accumulate things; that more is … (46 comments)

jason stewart realtor: Real Estate Stuff! Oh Yeah! - 10/06/13 02:06 AM
 
Market Update:
We dropped below 4000 properties for sale in all of San Diego County while there are still about 15,000-20,000 active buyers! It’s been over 10 years since we had such low inventory.
Where are the hot spots?
Southbay and Central SD like City Heights, and North Park seem to have the most buyers fighting for properties. Although the demand for downtown properties hasn’t been high in a while, it seemed to rise overnight. It seems people are thinking these areas just hit bottom, but the reality is these areas have been at the bottom for years … (3 comments)

jason stewart realtor: It’s Not Important, So Stop! - 10/04/13 12:10 AM
As Americans, we are trained to work hard and long, and always stay busy while at work. Not a bad concept right? What’s the purpose though of this work model?It should be to create results, so what exactly does that mean.
Let’s try using the words efficiency and effectiveness to describe a good worker.
Efficient would mean that they can do a lot quickly. Effectiveness would mean that what they’re doing creates great results.
Here’s a personal example of what I mean: I’ve never been too big of a fan of the get paid hourly method. Unless you’re passionate … (0 comments)

jason stewart realtor: Innocent Question - 09/15/13 02:15 AM
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.
She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
 
 
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jason stewart realtor: Computer Gender - 09/12/13 01:03 AM
As per women, computer is masculine because -
1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you might have had a better model.

As per men, computer is feminine because -
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to … (2 comments)

jason stewart realtor: Death Preparation - 09/05/13 12:34 AM
Barry and Hannah, an old married couple,  are sitting on the couch watching TV. On the show they were speaking about how to prepare in case of death etc.
“Honey,” says Barry, turning to his wife with a serious expression, “I want you to promise me, that if there ever comes a time that I am dependent on just machines and bottled fluid, that you will make sure to  put an end to it.”
“No problem hun,” said Hannah, and she promptly got up, turned off the TV, and poured his beer down the drain.…
 
 
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jason stewart realtor: We Should All Be Like Her - 09/03/13 11:55 PM
A very old lady looked in the mirror one morning. She had three remaining hairs on her head, and being a positive soul, she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today." So she braided her three hairs, and she had a great day.
Some days later, looking in the mirror one morning, preparing for her day, she saw that she had only two hairs remaining. "Hmm, two hairs... I fancy a centre parting today." She duly parted her two hairs, and as ever, she had a great day.
A week or so later, she saw that she had just one hair left … (0 comments)

jason stewart realtor: Urinalysis - 09/03/13 11:00 PM
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, … (0 comments)

jason stewart realtor: False Belief - 08/24/13 11:12 PM
 
As a man was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime can break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not.
He saw a trainer nearby and asked why these animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away. “Well,” trainer said, “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at … (2 comments)

 
Jason Stewart, Realtor (Stewart Estates)

Jason Stewart

Realtor

San Diego, CA

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