humor: Top Ten Funny One-Liners
- 11/09/09 11:46 AM
10. What is the best thing about dating a homeless woman? You can drop her off anywhere. 9. What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted. 8. What should a woman say to a man she's just had sex with? Whatever she wants - he's sleeping. 7. Where does virgin wool come from? Ugly sheep. 6. How do you spot the blind man at a nudist colony? It isn't hard. 5. How can you make your wife crazy while making love? Call her from your cell phone. 4. What does the bride of a Polish … (3 comments)
humor: The Big-Talkin' Cowboy
- 09/24/09 08:26 AM
A big-talking cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. 'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked. 'Well, I can think of one thing,' the big-talkin' cowboy offered. 'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota , why, I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and punched him. Why I smacked him hard too, right across his ugly face .... Then I kicked his bike over, ripped out his … (4 comments)
humor: Disorder in da Court - Funny Court Quotes
- 09/21/09 01:04 PM
The following quotes are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts. They are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had to stay calm and not laugh while these exchanges were actually taking place. --------ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ----------ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ----------ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget. … (3 comments)
humor: Do You Have Feelings of Inadequacy?
- 09/13/09 07:54 AM
Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Grey Goose. Grey Goose is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself. You'll also feel better about your actions. Grey Goose can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world you're ready and willing to do just about anything! You will notice the benefits of Grey Goose almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses, you can overcome any obstacles that … (4 comments)
humor: Actual Comments Made on Students' Report Cards
- 08/04/09 10:58 AM
Supposedly, these are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded :( 1.Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. 2.I would not allow this student to breed. 3.Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4.Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. 5.Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them. 6. This student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together. 7.This child has been working with glue … (22 comments)
humor: The Gender of Nouns - Humor only an English major would Love
- 06/29/09 01:05 PM
What is a noun? A noun is a word used to denote a person, place, thing, or idea.In the Spanish language, nouns are defined as being either masculine or feminine. Examples: English has masculine and feminine nouns too, but in English they are called "male" or "female" words. Here are some examples: COPIER: Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed. HAMMER: Male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but … (2 comments)
humor: You know you're really broke when..
- 04/16/09 12:45 PM
Everybody could use a smile, right? Okay, well you know you're really broke when... At communion you go back for seconds. American Express calls and says, "Sorry, but you're gonna hafta leave home without it!" Sally Struthers sends you food. You rob Peter...and then you rob Paul.You say that you're gonna clean your house, but really you're just looking for spare change. You can't afford hot water for Top Ramen noodles.You decide to invest in a do-it-yourself dentistry kit. You're thinking of removing the metal plate in your head to bring it to the recycling center. Your idea of a delicious family meal is … (1 comments)
humor: Three Words Women are Fond of Using
- 04/18/08 04:55 AM
3 Words Women are Fond of Using:1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. … (1 comments)
humor: Jokes
- 09/11/07 01:18 PM
I think that rather than keeping a log of events happening in the world of real estate, I will post some jokes. Enjoy!
10. What is the best thing about dating a homeless woman? You can drop her off anywhere. ;)
;)
