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Make Me Laugh!

Humor is one of the quickest ways to overcome distance and uncertainty between new  acquaintances. The art of conversation is a learned technique, and those who struggle with "small talk" and "soft conversation" can benefit from "stocking the pantry" with favorite "canned" one-liners designed to break the ice and build trust.
Although not our original creations, these are a few of our favorite quips:
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
So what if I can't spell 'armaggedon'? It's not like it's the end of the world...
A man was in court for stealing a bag. It took just 3 minutes to get sentenced... It was a briefcase.
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
I'm going to make a TV series about a plane hi-jacking. We just shot the pilot.
I'd like to defend a penguin in court just to say,  "Your Honor, my client is clearly not a flight risk."
Hummingbirds are just regular birds that don't know the words.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher? He couldn't control his pupils.
My new favorite band is Dog Whistle... You won't have heard ... more

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