christmas: A Chrstmas Story (Humor)
- 12/20/13 12:24 AM
The teacher, Mrs. Jones, asked each of her students how they celebrated Christmas. She called first on young Patrick Murphy. "Tell me, Patrick, what do you do at Christmas time?" Patrick addressed the class: "Me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to midnight Mass and we sing hymns. Then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys." "Very nice, Patrick," she said. "Now, Jimmy Brown, what do you do at Christmas?" "Me and … (6 comments)
christmas: Christmas Carols For The Dysfunctional (Humor)
- 12/17/13 04:12 AM
SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do you Hear What I Hear? MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Kings Disoriented Are DEMENTIA: I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas NARCISSISTIC: Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me MANIC: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and.. PARANOID: Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me. PERSONALITY DISORDER: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell you Why. DEPRESSION: Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All is Flat, All is Lonely. … (3 comments)
christmas: Who Says Men Don't Remember? (JOKE)
- 12/05/13 12:54 AM
A couple were Christmas shopping. The shopping center was packed , and as the wife walked through one of the malls she was surprised when she looked around to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen. She was quite upset because they had a lot to do and she became so worried that she called him on her mobile phone to ask him where he was. In a quiet voice he said, "Do you remember the jewellers we went into about five years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we couldn't afford, and … (7 comments)
christmas: Your First Christmas Card
- 11/18/13 12:45 AM
YOUR FIRST CHRISTMAS CARD I love Christmas lights! They remind me of… “the people who voted for Obama…” They all hang together; half of them don’t work, and the ones that do, aren’t all that bright! Make it a great day from Glenn Freezman!! DISCLAIMER: I AM AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY OFFENDER, IF THE "REPUBLICRATS" GET IN NEXT I WILL SIMPLY CHANGE THE HEADLINE! … (12 comments)
christmas: The Christmas Eve Real Estate Closing
- 12/06/12 11:05 PM
From my Family at Family Abstract, Inc. to yours, I present the Christmas Closings only a Title Company can know it. I can (almost) guarantee a smile and a suggest!
THE CHRISTMAS CLOSING 'Twas an hour before closing and the agents were tense, to close Christmas Eve just didn't make sense. But the seller was booked on the 6 o'clock flight and had warned "THERE WILL BE A CLOSING TONIGHT!" The agents agreed because business was dead, and visions of commission checks danced in their heads. The loan was approved by the lender's good grace, Everyone knew 'twas a borderline … (4 comments)
christmas: The First Christmas Joke 2012
- 12/04/12 04:27 AM
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. 'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.' The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said. 'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said. The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.' Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'. The Irishman started searching … (15 comments)
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The teacher, Mrs. Jones, asked each of her students how they celebrated Christmas. She called first on young Patrick Murphy. "Tell me, Patrick, what do you do at Christmas time?"
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