funny: The Philadelphia Comedy Contest, Glenn Freezman, 5 minute set - 01/09/14 02:12 AM
I hope you'll take 5 minutes to watch and comment on the set I did for the Philadelphia Comedy Contest. Since the collapse of the Refinance market, I have been in search of PLAN B, doing Stand Up comedy is paving my way towards Key Note Speaking. My next Show is Sunday Night, another contest being held at The Sunday Funnies Resolution Romp! Buffalo Billiards, 118 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19106.  If your in or around Philly, stop in and say hello. 

Comments, Suggestions, Raves and Boos, Bring them on!  I hope you enjoyed my You-Tube Thursday Entry!
Glenn Freezman
(2 comments)

funny: I took my daughter to the Barber Shop (Joke) - 12/31/13 12:41 AM
My little girl went to the barber shop with me.
She stands next to the barber chair,  while I get my hair cut, she was eating a snack cake.  
The  barber says to her, 'Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your muffin.'
She says, 'Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs  too.'
I don't know where she gets it from? 
Happy New Year to you all! Glenn Freezman 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BGr3bN0Iog&sns=em 
 
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(4 comments)

funny: A Morning Mommy Joke!! - 12/22/13 11:32 PM
When my wife was six months pregnant with my second child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.
He said, 'Mommy, you are getting fat!'
She replied, 'Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy.'
'I know,' he replied, but what's growing in your ass?
I offer todays smile for FREE, No Points!  Please, whomever you are that needs to make sure I don't get points and actuially takes the time to put in a complaint, understand, I couldn't care less, I do it for Karma!! … (2 comments)

funny: Christmas Carols For The Dysfunctional (Humor) - 12/17/13 04:12 AM
SCHIZOPHRENIA:
Do you Hear What I Hear? 
MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER:
We Three Kings Disoriented Are
DEMENTIA:
I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas
NARCISSISTIC:
Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
MANIC:
Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and..
PARANOID:
Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me.
PERSONALITY DISORDER:
You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell you Why.
DEPRESSION:
Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All is Flat, All is Lonely. 
(3 comments)

funny: BREAKING News!! ..... from the North Pole... - 12/17/13 12:48 AM
It has been reported that due to the negative impact the Great Recession has had on economies all over the world, this Christmas, Santa Claus will have only two “Ho’s”, not three as is the custom. Additionally, it was reported, that if the recession deepens further or the recovery continues at its current slow rate, in 2014 Santa might have to do with only one “HO”   Happy Holidays from Glenn Freezman ============================================ … (0 comments)

funny: The "Unattended Bag" in the Airport! (Humor) - 12/09/13 12:13 AM
I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself, 'I'm going to take that.'
 
 
 
 
 
Have a great day from Glenn Freezman
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(0 comments)

funny: Snow in the forecast? (Humor) - 12/05/13 11:54 PM
I was watching the news last night because there is Snow in the forecast and the TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, 'fat chance', with a face like that!
  I hope you all have an amzing day!
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(12 comments)

funny: I have a confession to make... - 11/20/13 11:08 PM
I sat, as did millions of other Americans, and watched as the government underwent a peaceful transition of power a few short years ago..   At first, I felt a swell of pride and patriotism while Barack Obama took his Oath of Office.   However, all that pride quickly vanished as I later watched 21 Marines, in full dress uniform with rifles,fire a 21-gun salute to the President.   It was then that I realized how far America's military had deteriorated.                                         Every one of them missed!    Make it a great day from Glenn Freezman ========================================================================= … (8 comments)

funny: Today on the bus.... You won't believe what happened!!! - 11/19/13 01:59 AM
This morning I got on a bus with both of my front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at me and my bulging pockets.

Finally, after many such glances from her, I said, "It's golf balls."

Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at me for a very long time, deeply thinking about what I had said.
After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

  Have a great day from Glenn Freezman
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(9 comments)

funny: The Affordable Boat Act Passes Into Law!! - 11/12/13 04:21 AM
The U.S. government has just passed a new law entitled "The Affordable Boat Act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat by April, 2014. These 'affordable' boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance, or repair costs.
This law has been passed because, until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This new law ensures that every American can now have an 'affordable' boat of their own, because everyone is 'entitled' to a new boat. … (5 comments)

funny: Is Title Insurance Like a Kardashian... A No Brainer :) - 11/12/13 01:23 AM
I have been in the Title Insurance Business for 28 years... Cabo, my pup, has been here 3 years.
People don’t understand title insurance, they think it’s like a Kardashian: A no brainer!
Title insurance protects, the buyer, against something like the previous owner failing to pay property taxes. And you know what happens to people who don’t pay taxes? They serve two years ... in Congress.
Title insurance is like the gallbladder.  Everyone has it, but nobody is sure of what it is or exactly what it’s good for.
At one settlement, The Prudential agent brought the 2 … (5 comments)

funny: An Elderly Couple Goes to Heaven - 11/05/13 11:17 PM
This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash.  They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to her interest in health food and exercise.
When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi.
As they “Oohed and aahed” the old man asked St. Peter how much all this was going to cost.
“It’s free,”  St. Peter replied, “this is Heaven.”
Next they went out back to survey the championship golf … (4 comments)

funny: Happy Halloween!!! - 10/30/13 11:52 PM
He still isn't talking to me for this!!
 

I wish you all a safe and Happy Halloween!  And Remember Witches can't have Babies because their husbands have Hallow-Weinies!  Keep on smiling,
 
Glenn Freezman
(3 comments)

funny: Update on Kathy's Surgery - 10/17/13 05:31 AM
Dear Family and Friends, Most of you know our friend Kathy went in for a surgical procedure for a Butt Lift, using the Obama Care Medical Plan through your new state run insurance exchange. She didn't have the most pleasant experience. She should've left well enough alone. We wanted to show you how it turned out. We hope this makes you aware of the quality of care you will receive from the Affordable Healthcare Act (Obama Care) Please, PLEASE, PLEASE . . Don't get a Butt Lift using the Obama Care Medical Plan. The "Obama care qualified Doctor" was a 3rd … (2 comments)

funny: I got her to achieve A Multiple Listing - 10/10/13 03:55 AM
Look I don’t want to brag but a Realtor told me that I was the first and only title insurance guy to ever get her to achieve a multiple listing. It was embarrassing. She kept screaming my name, out loud, during settlement.
I was recently at a closing, They were all there: the mortgage company, both realtors, the foreclosure expert, the short sale guy, the buyer, the seller......I haven’t seen that many people try to screw each other, at the same time, since Caligula.
If I made you laugh, I guarantee we will make you smile at your real estate settlement. Look me … (1 comments)

funny: I got her to achieve A Multiple "Listing" - 10/10/13 03:27 AM
Look I don’t want to brag but a Realtor told me that I was the first and only title insurance guy to ever get her to achieve a multiple listing. It was embarrassing. She kept screaming my name, out loud, during settlement.
I was recently at a closing, They were all there: the mortgage company, both realtors, the foreclosure expert, the short sale guy, the buyer, the seller......I haven’t seen that many people try to screw each other, at the same time, since Caligula.
If I make you laugh, I guarantee we will make you smile at your real estate settlement. Look me … (0 comments)

funny: HILLARY'S FIRST NIGHTS AS PRESIDENT - 10/07/13 02:09 AM
Hillary Clinton was sworn in today as President. She has disposed of Bill and is spending her first night alone in the White House. She has waited several years for this!!
FIRST NIGHT Suddenly! The ghost of George Washington appears to her, and Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"

Washington says, "Never tell a lie."

"Ouch!" Says Hillary, "I don't know about that."
SECOND NIGHT The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears...? Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"
Jefferson says, "Listen to the people."
"Ohhh! I really really don't want to … (10 comments)

funny: My Son's Room.... Wordless Wednesday Classic - 08/21/13 04:55 AM

Make it a great day from all my Family at Family Abstract to yours and PLEASE give us a shot as your title insurance needs for PA, NJ, Md, Fl and Va.  Thankls in advance,
 
Glenn
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(9 comments)

funny: Top Ten Signs That your Employer Has Changed To Obamacare Health Care - 08/20/13 06:07 AM
We have been getting a lot of grief about the new health care changes that we had to employ here at Family Abstract, as usual, I'll hide behind the comedy, it seems to make the pill a little easier to swallow.    Top Ten Indicators That your Employer Has Changed To The Obamacare Health Care Plan.
(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.   (9) Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."   (8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.   (7) The only proctologist in the plan is … (16 comments)

funny: What's your PLAN "B"? I may do Stand-Up Comedy! - 08/07/13 11:55 PM
I am into my 5th month of writing and performing Stand Up Comedy.  I find it to be a refreshing change from the daily life of a Title Insurance agent.  My aspiration is to become a speaker at conventions for Title, Real Estate, Mortgage, Staging and Appraisal.  Although the material you'll watch (PLEASE) has nothing to do with Real Estate, I am writing material for that everyday.  Helium night club is not the venue for me to perform Real Estate related bits.  Enjoy and leave me a comment, Thanks in advance,

From my family at Family Abstract, Inc. to yours … (15 comments)

 
Glenn Freezman (Family Abstract, Inc.)

Glenn Freezman

Horsham, PA

More about me…

Family Abstract, Inc.

Address: 1424 Easton Road, Suite 100, Horsham, PA, 19044

Office: 215*293*0212*206

Mobile: (215) 778-9592

Email Me

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Whether you are a Realtor, lender, broker, buyer or seller, your success is our mission!

Title Matters is a blog edited and maintained as a cooperative effort by the owners and employees of Family Abstract, Inc.

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