humorous: Luv's Huggies Pamper's and Depends! - 02/03/14 11:53 PM
I know you have been laying awake at night wondering why baby diapers have brand names such as "Luvs",  "Huggies," and "Pampers', while undergarments for old people are called "Depends".
Well here is the low down on the whole thing.
When babies crap in their pants, people are still gonna Luv'em, Hug'em and Pamper em.
When old people have an accident in their pants, it "Depends" on who's in the will!
Have a great safe, warm day from Glenn Freezman!
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(6 comments)

humorous: I took my daughter to the Barber Shop (Joke) - 12/31/13 12:41 AM
My little girl went to the barber shop with me.
She stands next to the barber chair,  while I get my hair cut, she was eating a snack cake.  
The  barber says to her, 'Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your muffin.'
She says, 'Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs  too.'
I don't know where she gets it from? 
Happy New Year to you all! Glenn Freezman 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BGr3bN0Iog&sns=em 
 
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(4 comments)

humorous: Christmas Carols For The Dysfunctional (Humor) - 12/17/13 04:12 AM
SCHIZOPHRENIA:
Do you Hear What I Hear? 
MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER:
We Three Kings Disoriented Are
DEMENTIA:
I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas
NARCISSISTIC:
Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
MANIC:
Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and..
PARANOID:
Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me.
PERSONALITY DISORDER:
You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell you Why.
DEPRESSION:
Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All is Flat, All is Lonely. 
(3 comments)

humorous: BREAKING News!! ..... from the North Pole... - 12/17/13 12:48 AM
It has been reported that due to the negative impact the Great Recession has had on economies all over the world, this Christmas, Santa Claus will have only two “Ho’s”, not three as is the custom. Additionally, it was reported, that if the recession deepens further or the recovery continues at its current slow rate, in 2014 Santa might have to do with only one “HO”   Happy Holidays from Glenn Freezman ============================================ … (0 comments)

humorous: The "Unattended Bag" in the Airport! (Humor) - 12/09/13 12:13 AM
I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself, 'I'm going to take that.'
 
 
 
 
 
Have a great day from Glenn Freezman
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(0 comments)

humorous: Brand New Breakfast Cereals from General Mills - 12/02/13 01:54 AM
This is just funny, not Political, but I can GUARANTEE that it will not make the "Blog Roll"  For anyone that is going to bash me, don't bother, I am an equal opportunity offender and I PROMISE whatever gets in next time, I will not change my way of looking at the world.  I love my country it's the Government that frightens me. 

(6 comments)

humorous: I have a confession to make... - 11/20/13 11:08 PM
I sat, as did millions of other Americans, and watched as the government underwent a peaceful transition of power a few short years ago..   At first, I felt a swell of pride and patriotism while Barack Obama took his Oath of Office.   However, all that pride quickly vanished as I later watched 21 Marines, in full dress uniform with rifles,fire a 21-gun salute to the President.   It was then that I realized how far America's military had deteriorated.                                         Every one of them missed!    Make it a great day from Glenn Freezman ========================================================================= … (8 comments)

humorous: Today on the bus.... You won't believe what happened!!! - 11/19/13 01:59 AM
This morning I got on a bus with both of my front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at me and my bulging pockets.

Finally, after many such glances from her, I said, "It's golf balls."

Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at me for a very long time, deeply thinking about what I had said.
After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"

  Have a great day from Glenn Freezman
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(9 comments)

humorous: The Affordable Boat Act Passes Into Law!! - 11/12/13 04:21 AM
The U.S. government has just passed a new law entitled "The Affordable Boat Act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat by April, 2014. These 'affordable' boats will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance, or repair costs.
This law has been passed because, until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats. This new law ensures that every American can now have an 'affordable' boat of their own, because everyone is 'entitled' to a new boat. … (5 comments)

humorous: Is Title Insurance Like a Kardashian... A No Brainer :) - 11/12/13 01:23 AM
I have been in the Title Insurance Business for 28 years... Cabo, my pup, has been here 3 years.
People don’t understand title insurance, they think it’s like a Kardashian: A no brainer!
Title insurance protects, the buyer, against something like the previous owner failing to pay property taxes. And you know what happens to people who don’t pay taxes? They serve two years ... in Congress.
Title insurance is like the gallbladder.  Everyone has it, but nobody is sure of what it is or exactly what it’s good for.
At one settlement, The Prudential agent brought the 2 … (5 comments)

humorous: An Elderly Couple Goes to Heaven - 11/05/13 11:17 PM
This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash.  They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to her interest in health food and exercise.
When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi.
As they “Oohed and aahed” the old man asked St. Peter how much all this was going to cost.
“It’s free,”  St. Peter replied, “this is Heaven.”
Next they went out back to survey the championship golf … (4 comments)

humorous: Update on Kathy's Surgery - 10/17/13 05:31 AM
Dear Family and Friends, Most of you know our friend Kathy went in for a surgical procedure for a Butt Lift, using the Obama Care Medical Plan through your new state run insurance exchange. She didn't have the most pleasant experience. She should've left well enough alone. We wanted to show you how it turned out. We hope this makes you aware of the quality of care you will receive from the Affordable Healthcare Act (Obama Care) Please, PLEASE, PLEASE . . Don't get a Butt Lift using the Obama Care Medical Plan. The "Obama care qualified Doctor" was a 3rd … (2 comments)

humorous: We Love to Bargain, Bicker and Bluff!!! - 10/16/13 12:07 AM
I'm a Jewish guy in the title insurance business, we like to, “Bargain, Bicker and Bluff” Two Jews walk into a real estate closing … RUN!
 
Jews don’t always have the best luck in real estate. We still haven’t closed on the West Bank or the Gaza Strip. As a matter of fact, the whole business of who owns what in the Middle East could have been solved a couple of thousand years ago with two little words...title insurance... I was born 2000 years too late.
 
Make it a great day from my family at Family Abstract, Inc. to … (6 comments)

humorous: I got her to achieve A Multiple Listing - 10/10/13 03:55 AM
Look I don’t want to brag but a Realtor told me that I was the first and only title insurance guy to ever get her to achieve a multiple listing. It was embarrassing. She kept screaming my name, out loud, during settlement.
I was recently at a closing, They were all there: the mortgage company, both realtors, the foreclosure expert, the short sale guy, the buyer, the seller......I haven’t seen that many people try to screw each other, at the same time, since Caligula.
If I made you laugh, I guarantee we will make you smile at your real estate settlement. Look me … (1 comments)

humorous: I got her to achieve A Multiple "Listing" - 10/10/13 03:27 AM
Look I don’t want to brag but a Realtor told me that I was the first and only title insurance guy to ever get her to achieve a multiple listing. It was embarrassing. She kept screaming my name, out loud, during settlement.
I was recently at a closing, They were all there: the mortgage company, both realtors, the foreclosure expert, the short sale guy, the buyer, the seller......I haven’t seen that many people try to screw each other, at the same time, since Caligula.
If I make you laugh, I guarantee we will make you smile at your real estate settlement. Look me … (0 comments)

humorous: O'BummerCare A Friday Funny - 10/04/13 01:55 AM

 
From my family at Family Abstract to yours, all our very best!
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(4 comments)

humorous: Old Love... Last forever! - 08/28/13 05:08 AM
A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds, then it comes crashing back down to earth. He tries this a few more times with no success.
All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.
She opens the window and yells to her husband, "You need a piece of tail."
The man turns with a confused look on his face and says, "Make up your mind. Last night, you … (8 comments)

humorous: The Jewish Quarterback... You know this must be a joke!! - 08/26/13 02:01 AM
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Detroit Lions. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th storey window 100 yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a … (6 comments)

humorous: Top Ten Signs That your Employer Has Changed To Obamacare Health Care - 08/20/13 06:07 AM
We have been getting a lot of grief about the new health care changes that we had to employ here at Family Abstract, as usual, I'll hide behind the comedy, it seems to make the pill a little easier to swallow.    Top Ten Indicators That your Employer Has Changed To The Obamacare Health Care Plan.
(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.   (9) Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."   (8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.   (7) The only proctologist in the plan is … (16 comments)

humorous: Good medical advice .... Healthy Tips! - 08/15/13 12:39 AM
 
Good medical advice from the sages of old...
1. F***ing once a week is good for your health, but it's harmful if done every day.
2. F***ing relaxes your mind and body.
3. F***ing refreshes you.
4. After F***ing, don?t eat too much; go for more liquids.
5. Try f***ing in bed 'cause it can save you valuable energy.
6. F***ing can even reduce your cholesterol levels.     Fasting is good for your health and may God cleanse your dirty mind...   Not sure where you were going but at Family Abstract, Inc. we are just trying to help!  Clean minds = … (2 comments)

 
Glenn Freezman (Family Abstract, Inc.)

Glenn Freezman

Horsham, PA

More about me…

Family Abstract, Inc.

Address: 1424 Easton Road, Suite 100, Horsham, PA, 19044

Office: 215*293*0212*206

Mobile: (215) 778-9592

Email Me

Bringing all parties together – that’s what we do!

Whether you are a Realtor, lender, broker, buyer or seller, your success is our mission!

Title Matters is a blog edited and maintained as a cooperative effort by the owners and employees of Family Abstract, Inc.

By combining our knowledge, skills and energy we can share what we know, find answers to questions, and do what a good title company is supposed to do – bring all the parties together!



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