joke: Top Ten Signs That your Employer Has Changed To Obamacare Health Care
- 08/20/13 06:07 AM
We have been getting a lot of grief about the new health care changes that we had to employ here at Family Abstract, as usual, I'll hide behind the comedy, it seems to make the pill a little easier to swallow. Top Ten Indicators That your Employer Has Changed To The Obamacare Health Care Plan. (10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters. (9) Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park." (8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles. (7) The only proctologist in the plan is … (16 comments)
joke: Good medical advice .... Healthy Tips!
- 08/15/13 12:39 AM
Good medical advice from the sages of old... 1. F***ing once a week is good for your health, but it's harmful if done every day. 2. F***ing relaxes your mind and body. 3. F***ing refreshes you. 4. After F***ing, don?t eat too much; go for more liquids. 5. Try f***ing in bed 'cause it can save you valuable energy. 6. F***ing can even reduce your cholesterol levels. Fasting is good for your health and may God cleanse your dirty mind... Not sure where you were going but at Family Abstract, Inc. we are just trying to help! Clean minds = … (2 comments)
joke: Scienists Study Crows with fascinating results
- 08/06/13 03:03 AM
Another Government study provides outstanding results . . . Thank Goodness Family Abstract is bringing you this earthshaking information. You'll all sleep better tonight. CSIRO Officials admitted that they found about 200 dead crows on the highway between Noonamah and Palmerston, in Northern Territory, where there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.
The Territory Government approved and the CSIRO contracted a bird pathologist to examine the remains of all the crows and he confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu, much to everyone’s relief.
However, he determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by … (1 comments)
joke: You Have Got To Read This… Truly Touching
- 07/31/13 01:57 AM
Time is like a river. You cannot touch the water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life. As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the Nova Scotia back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn’t stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late … (87 comments)
joke: FrIdAy FuNnY FrEe FoR AlL, It"S FrIDaY AfTeR AlL... Enjoy!
- 06/21/13 02:15 AM
How about a break from Title Insurance at Family Abstract and Real Estate around the country for some good old fashioned jokes. Sex at 68... I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 68. I'm so happy, because I live at number 72. So it's not too far to walk home afterwards. And it's the same side of the street. I don't even have to cross the road! ~~~~~ Answering machine message, "I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my … (4 comments)
joke: Golf verse Tennis, A Real quick joke!
- 05/21/13 12:54 AM
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls." Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said. After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?" I hope you have a great day, from your friends at Family Abstract! … (8 comments)
joke: Did I read that sign correctly? FRIDAY FUNNY!
- 05/10/13 03:23 AM
Did I read that sign correctly? TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD Outside a secondhand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN? Notice … (11 comments)
joke: Title Agent Turns To Comedy To Cope (You Tube Thursday)
- 05/09/13 12:05 AM
Family Abstract, partner, Glenn Freezman has turned to comedy to cope with the daily grind of the title insurance business while entering his 27th year as an agent. The clip is from a recent engagement at Helium Comedy Club, the premiere Comedy Club of Philly. It is rated R, maybe R-. This routine got me in the Comedy Club Finals that will be held on May 19th. I hope you enjoy.
From my family at Family Abstract, Inc. to yours all our very best! Glenn … (5 comments)
A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede, (100-legged bug), which came in a little white box to use for his house. He took the box back home, found a good spot for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to church with him. So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would … (6 comments)
joke: Amazing New Real Estate Robot Now Available
- 04/01/13 11:02 PM
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He tests it at dinner one night... The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, "Idid some schoolwork." The robot slaps the son. The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies." Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?" Son says, "Toy Story." The robot slaps the son. Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching porn." Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was." The robot slaps … (3 comments)
joke: Airline Ground Crews are very funny!!
- 04/01/13 05:37 AM
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by Maintenance engineers!! By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.(Knock on wood) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight … (2 comments)
Just in time for this year, a group of leading medical people has published data indicating that seder participants should NOT partake of both chopped liver and charoses. It is indicated that this combination can lead to Charoses of the Liver. At our seder, we had whole wheat and bran matzoh, fortified with Metamucil. The brand name, of course, is "Let My People Go". Lunch ______ A Jewish man took his Passover lunch … (6 comments)
joke: There is STILL Black Smoke
- 03/20/13 02:59 AM
Please don't kill the messenger, this is a joke! Please don't start getting all political on me!
We try everyday at Family Abstract, Inc. to make your day a little brighter with a smile or a laugh. In our work, we promise to bring joy to your customers if you'll give us the opportunity to prove it.
Glenn
… (5 comments)
joke: Getting Married at 85, Cute Story
- 01/15/13 12:21 AM
My father, (FreezPop), The Grandfather of Family Abstract age 86, and his soon to be wife, age 82, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore.. FreezPop suggests they go in. FreezPop: "Are you the owner?" The pharmacist answers, "Yes." FreezPop: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?" Pharmacist: "Of course, we do." FreezPop:: "How about medicine for circulation?" Pharmacist: "All kinds." FreezPop: "Medicine for rheumatism?" Pharmacist: "Definitely." FreezPop:: "How about suppositories?" Pharmacist: … (19 comments)
joke: The First Christmas Joke 2012
- 12/04/12 04:27 AM
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. 'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.' The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said. 'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said. The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.' Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'. The Irishman started searching … (15 comments)
joke: I Love my Dog, But.... (Funny Friday)
- 11/02/12 01:13 AM
My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. He has his food prepared for him. His meals are provided at no cost to him. He visits the Doctor once a year for his checkup, and again during the year, if any medical needs arise. For this he pays nothing and nothing is required of him. He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep. If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep. He receives … (4 comments)
joke: Drinking and Driving after a Real Estate Function
- 10/12/12 02:59 AM
I would like to share an experience with you all about drinking and driving.As you well know some of us have been known to have had rare brushes with the authorities on our way home from a social session over the years. A couple of nights ago I was at an after hours real estate function. I had a few too many delicious chocotinis.Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit I didsomething I've never done before???? I took a bus home.Sure enough, I passed a DUI checkpoint, but because it was a bus,they just waved it through.I … (9 comments)
Bringing all parties together – that’s what we do!
Whether you are a Realtor, lender, broker, buyer or seller, your success is our mission!
Title Matters is a blog edited and maintained as a cooperative effort by the owners and employees of Family Abstract, Inc.
By combining our knowledge, skills and energy we can share what we know, find answers to questions, and do what a good title company is supposed to do – bring all the parties together!
We have been getting a lot of grief about the new health care changes that we had to employ here at Family Abstract, as usual, I'll hide behind the comedy, it seems to make the pill a little easier to swallow. Top Ten Indicators That your Employer Has Changed To The Obamacare Health Care Plan. 
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