jokes: When the World gets me down...
- 02/10/14 01:50 AM
I learned i can't change the world, but I can change my own world.. As I transition out of ownership and into the working world, I find it therapeutic to watch other people laugh. I may be the ultimate narcissist, I use other peoples laughter to make me feel better. Let me know if my 6 minute set helped. Glenn
jokes: Can a Title Agent Do StandUp Comedy... You Tell Me
- 06/20/13 01:01 AM
As an owner at Family Abstract Title, every once in a while I need a release. I have started to do stand-up comedy about 4 months ago. The video I attached is from my first contest that I entered, late last month, it was a lot of fun, with a great crowd. My ultimate goal is to continue to write and perform and work my way into the Real Estate, Mortgage and Title Seminar circuit as a guest speaker. I have been doing title for 28 years, I know Mortgage, Title and Real Estate. Writing comedy for that is not hard, … (11 comments)
jokes: She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde...
- 04/30/13 04:53 AM
Did you hear the one about the... At Family Abstract, we love a good laugh, today's Title Topic was Blondes. Now Blondes can be synonymous with just about anything you wish it to be, so please, while reading the following feel free to substitute your "Blonde" of choice and more importantly, Make it a GREAT DAY!! She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde: * she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. * she sent me a fax with a stamp on it. * she thought a quarterback was a refund. * she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order. * she thought Boyz II … (5 comments)
jokes: Why Why Why? From Your Title Insurance Guy!
- 03/26/13 03:30 AM
It seems like all day, every day we are asked why? From the time our children are old enough to speak, WHY is one of the words that every child picks up very early in age. My kids first words were, Power of Attorney and Trust Fund, but that's just me. We are asked, WHY is that Judgement still of record, WHY won't the bank take my short sale offer, WHY won't the lender order another appraisal, WHY does the opposing negotiator pay the Buyers agents commission in a real estate transaction? I say Why ask WHY? Sometimes it feels … (2 comments)
jokes: HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY (Written by kids)
- 03/21/13 03:29 AM
The kids at Family Abstract were at it again! Sometimes during settlements, when the buyers or sellers bring their children, it's my job as "Camp Counselor" to make their time in our offices more enjoyable. Actually we use the kids to make our days more enjoyable! Read on and you'll understand why...Actual answer from actual kids! HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10 No person … (14 comments)
jokes: The Top 20 Things I learned from my Children
- 02/27/13 02:46 AM
As a partner in Family Abstract, my role has always been street smarts and my partners book smarts. We make the perfect combination, but the wisdom that I have culled from our kids in the last 22 years is beyond reproach and not available any where else! For a funnyThursday blog post, I offer my top 20 24 list, Enjoy and PLEASE have a great day!
For those with no children - this is totally hysterical... For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. For those who have children this age, this is not funny. … (6 comments)
jokes: Todays Laughs come from the Elderly!
- 02/26/13 02:12 AM
Our clients at Family Abstract, Inc. range in age from 21 to 101, my favorite group are the seniors. The wisdom, knowledge and overall sense they bring is remarkable. I hope you enjoy the following quickie jokes. A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a good after shave, presenting a well looked-after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady, (mid-eighties). The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns … (13 comments)
jokes: Start your week off with some great One Line Jokes!
- 02/25/13 01:02 AM
At Family Abstract we try to make every day a little better by laughing, smiling or telling a joke. For today, I am handing out the material for the week, from some of the best stars around. We guarantee to make your settlement a happy one! Enjoy! Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Woody Allen "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." Rodney Dangerfield "There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the … (12 comments)
jokes: HELP, Im Stuck in the Feminine Protection Isle, A True Story
- 10/19/12 01:40 AM
I was actually inspired by Roger's Blog to share with you my personal true story on the topic. http://activerain.com/blogsview/3483630/it-was-another-who-s-on-first-conversation-with-mickey-yesterday-#12900255 Thanks Roger, you are one of my favorites! My "Mickey" is named Sheryl and we have been married for 26 years (in a row) The story goes like this.... I was at the local supermarket when my cell phone buzzed with a call from home, my wife. Hi, Babe, do me a favor and pick me up a box of Tampons. No Problem, I'll grab them for you. Holy-Moly have you ever stood in the Feminine Protection Isle as a guy? Thin, … (4 comments)
jokes: Jokes with Tonto and The Lone Ranger, do they ever get old??
- 05/04/12 12:28 AM
Do Loan Ranger and Tonto jokes ever get old? This oldie but goodie was told to us during a settlement at Family Abstract, Inc. while closing for a new home purchase where we were fortunate enough to be able to be the title insurance company. The Loan Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert.After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto woke up the Lone Ranger and says, 'Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?''The Lone Ranger replied, 'I see millions of stars.''What that tell you?' asked Tonto. The … (6 comments)
jokes: I'm looking forward to my Retardment
- 04/25/12 02:14 AM
After Christmas vacation, my son's teacher asked all her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school. My son wrote the following: We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Arizona. Now they live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on their bicycles, and wear name tags because they don't know who they are anymore. They go to a building called a wreck center, but they must have got … (9 comments)
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Title Matters is a blog edited and maintained as a cooperative effort by the owners and employees of Family Abstract, Inc.
By combining our knowledge, skills and energy we can share what we know, find answers to questions, and do what a good title company is supposed to do – bring all the parties together!
I learned i can't change the world, but I can change my own world.. As I transition out of ownership and into the working world, I find it therapeutic to watch other people laugh. I may be the ultimate narcissist, I use other peoples laughter to make me feel better. Let me know if my 6 minute set helped.
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