smile: Luv's Huggies Pamper's and Depends!
- 02/03/14 11:53 PM
I know you have been laying awake at night wondering why baby diapers have brand names such as "Luvs", "Huggies," and "Pampers', while undergarments for old people are called "Depends". Well here is the low down on the whole thing. When babies crap in their pants, people are still gonna Luv'em, Hug'em and Pamper em. When old people have an accident in their pants, it "Depends" on who's in the will! Have a great safe, warm day from Glenn Freezman! ================================================================= … (6 comments)
smile: A Morning Mommy Joke!!
- 12/22/13 11:32 PM
When my wife was six months pregnant with my second child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. He said, 'Mommy, you are getting fat!' She replied, 'Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy.' 'I know,' he replied, but what's growing in your ass? I offer todays smile for FREE, No Points! Please, whomever you are that needs to make sure I don't get points and actuially takes the time to put in a complaint, understand, I couldn't care less, I do it for Karma!! … (2 comments)
smile: A Chrstmas Story (Humor)
- 12/20/13 12:24 AM
The teacher, Mrs. Jones, asked each of her students how they celebrated Christmas. She called first on young Patrick Murphy. "Tell me, Patrick, what do you do at Christmas time?" Patrick addressed the class: "Me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to midnight Mass and we sing hymns. Then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys." "Very nice, Patrick," she said. "Now, Jimmy Brown, what do you do at Christmas?" "Me and … (6 comments)
smile: Old Love... Last forever!
- 08/28/13 05:08 AM
A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite. He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches it for a few seconds, then it comes crashing back down to earth. He tries this a few more times with no success. All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window, muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything. She opens the window and yells to her husband, "You need a piece of tail." The man turns with a confused look on his face and says, "Make up your mind. Last night, you … (8 comments)
smile: My Son's Room.... Wordless Wednesday Classic
- 08/21/13 04:55 AM
Make it a great day from all my Family at Family Abstract to yours and PLEASE give us a shot as your title insurance needs for PA, NJ, Md, Fl and Va. Thankls in advance,
smile: Golf verse Tennis, A Real quick joke!
- 05/21/13 12:54 AM
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls." Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said. After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?" I hope you have a great day, from your friends at Family Abstract! … (8 comments)
smile: Airline Ground Crews are very funny!!
- 04/01/13 05:37 AM
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by Maintenance engineers!! By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.(Knock on wood) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight … (2 comments)
smile: My 2nd Night At Stand-Up Comedy
- 03/01/13 12:42 AM
I am re blogging this post because I really want to know if you think I'm on to something. I have been searching for a Plan B for 27 years while in the Title Insurance Business. Is Stand Up Comedy a Good Plan B for Me, YOU DECIDE. The opening bit is the same as my initial 1st time ever on stage but then it switches up.
For THE 2 PEOPLE, THAT SAW AND COMMENTED ON THIS YESTERDAY, I APOLOGIZE, ABOUT TRICKING YOU INTO TO SEEING IT AGAIN! GLENN =============================================================================== … (9 comments)
smile: Todays Laughs come from the Elderly!
- 02/26/13 02:12 AM
Our clients at Family Abstract, Inc. range in age from 21 to 101, my favorite group are the seniors. The wisdom, knowledge and overall sense they bring is remarkable. I hope you enjoy the following quickie jokes. A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a good after shave, presenting a well looked-after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady, (mid-eighties). The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns … (13 comments)
smile: THE BOTTLE OF WINE ( A quick Cute Joke G Rated)
- 02/21/13 01:00 AM
For all of you who are married, were married, wish you were married or wish you were not married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine:
My wife was driving home from one of her business trips, in Northern Arizona, when he saw an elderly Navajo man walking on the side of the road. ============================================================================
… (11 comments)
smile: Understanding Your Wife On Valentines Day, Paperback Edition
- 02/14/13 12:41 AM
As a public service, Family Abstract Inc. is willing to send anyone a copy of the NEW PAPER BACK edition of Understanding Your Wife On Valentines day. Simply send $549.00 for postage and handling and we'll take care of the rest! Happy Reading and good luck to us all! I love my wife I love my wife I love my wife This is a recording! Have a great day, hug them, squeeze, love them, give them your heart and your soul. Tomorrow is coming! Here is a quick Valentines Joke: Fred was driving home from one of his business trips, … (15 comments)
With rare flames of scarlet for each special day And odd strands of silver where you kept your illusions Mixed in with the blues showing loss and confusion
If you painted your life, would there be storms? For the times you lost courage and agreed to conform Perhaps you'd paint stars, one for each dream That gave life a meaning, or so it once seemed.
Has anyone else painted clouds in your sky? And dulled your bright colours as your chances passed by? Maybe it is time to … (3 comments)
smile: The day that Albert Einstein feared has finally arrived!
- 11/30/12 03:30 AM
At Family Abstract, our title insurance company, we hear so much about Technology and the "Advancements" they all have concerning the human race. The question is what about the Human interaction. Has technology improved you as a person or made you more distant to your inner most circle of friends, family and clients? The following pictures give a pretty good understanding of Einsteins Brilliance, way before he could have understood his own luminosity. Enjoy, please leave a comment or share.
The day that Albert Einstein feared has finally arrived!
Having Coffee with friends
… (21 comments)
smile: Far Side Biblical Real Estate lesson #2 (Humorous)
- 11/28/12 10:43 PM
When my title company, Family Abstract is dealing with the best in the business, everyone wants everyone to know exactly how many people they have made happy. Real Estate agents and Mortgage companies love to brag how they are a top 1% real estate agent or the mortgage company funds over 150 million dollars a month: well in this Far Side Cartoon, it appears there is a limit even at the highest powers.
We are extremely thrilled to be in type of business that allows us in some small way to be a part of the greatest people on earth! … (2 comments)
smile: Far Side Biblical Wordless Wednesday
- 11/28/12 02:44 AM
We are extremely thrilled to be in type of business that allows us in some small way to be a part of the greatest people on earth! From my family to yours, from Title Insurance commitment to policy, all our very best! Take at least a moment each day to smile and laugh, then call Family Abstract for all your title needs in PA, NJ, MD and FL. At Family Abstract, Inc. We look forward to making you, and your clients smile very day, especially the day of settlement. Please like us on Facebook, Please “Plus 1 us on Google, … (5 comments)
smile: I can't tell you father ( A quick joke)
- 11/27/12 05:38 AM
PLEASE Like Family Abstract, Inc. if you like this joke! 'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'.The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ? 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'. "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'I cannot say.' 'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?' 'I'll never tell.' 'Was it Nina Capelli?' 'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.' … (6 comments)
Bringing all parties together – that’s what we do!
Whether you are a Realtor, lender, broker, buyer or seller, your success is our mission!
Title Matters is a blog edited and maintained as a cooperative effort by the owners and employees of Family Abstract, Inc.
By combining our knowledge, skills and energy we can share what we know, find answers to questions, and do what a good title company is supposed to do – bring all the parties together!
I know you have been laying awake at night wondering why baby diapers have brand names such as "Luvs", "Huggies," and "Pampers', while undergarments for old people are called "Depends".
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