just for laughs: New York City Taxi Cab
- 11/25/11 02:38 AM
A drunk woman, stark naked, jumped into a taxi in New York City. The taxi driver, who happened to be an old Jewish man, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman. He made no attempt to start the cab. She said to him, "What's wrong with you honey? Haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?"The old man said "Lady, I'm not staring at you, I am telling you, det vould not be proper vair I come from".She said, "Well, if you're not staring at my chest sweetie, what are you doing then?"He said, "Vell, I am looking … (7 comments)
just for laughs: Thanksgiving... Italian Style
- 11/23/11 02:38 AM
When I was a kid growing up, Thanksgiving was a day to reflect on what we had to be thankful for and to see my family together.
After this peaceful moment, of no one screaming at each other, it was time to eat! ANDIAMO!
Now Italians do it all little bit different than the rest, but what else is new.
First we start with: ANTIPASTO then LASAGNA or MANICOTTI (depending on what you had last year) with MEAT IN THE GRAVY, then SOUP Now we get to the Meal: TURKEY, STUFFING, ROASTED POTATOES BROCCOLI RABE, and … (6 comments)
just for laughs: Here are the official rules of Thanksgiving Family Touch Football
- 11/22/11 03:55 AM
Thanksgiving is Thursday and there's no avoiding it—make the drive, eat the turkey, pass the cranberry goo, and try not to say something you regret. If you can survive until dessert without crying at the table or sticking a fork in someone's arm, you're home free—just inhale the pecan pie, hit the couch, and pass out watching the NFL. The rules of touch football could have saved the "Wedding Crashers" from a great deal of pain. But for the love of Lombardi, go outside and play some Thanksgiving touch football. It's a perfect opportunity for family bonding, or at least … (4 comments)
Goes to consult a Psychic about the date of his death.
Closing her eyes and silently reaching into the realm of the future she finds
the answer: "You will die on a Jewish holiday."
"Which one?'" Ahmadinejad asks nervously.
"It doesn't matter," replied the psychic. "Whenever you die, it'll be a Jewish holiday." ============================================== … (4 comments)
just for laughs: Deer Camp, A Monday Morning Smile!
- 11/21/11 04:03 AM
Four guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Ron's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do?Two days later the remaining three get to the camping site only to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire."Damn man, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?""Well, I've been here since yesterday. … (5 comments)
just for laughs: The Rancher
- 11/18/11 02:57 AM
The Texas Department of Employment, Division of Labor Standards claimed a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him. GOVT AGENT: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them. RANCHER: Well, theres my hired hand whose been with me for 3 years I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. Then theres the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room … (5 comments)
just for laughs: Mayday Mayday Mayday (A Friday Funny)
- 11/04/11 04:00 AM
A blonde is on board a small two-seater airplane when suddenly the pilot dies. Not knowing how to fly a plane she grabs the radio."Mayday, mayday! My pilot just died!" Ground control received her call for help and answers back: "Don't worry, madam. We'll talk you down, just do as I say. First I need you to give me your height and position.""I'm 5'2" and sitting in the right front seat." Ground control: "Repeat after me: Our Father..... Who art in Heaven.... =========================================================== … (4 comments)
just for laughs: Grand-Pa doesn't know everything! (Friday Funny)
- 11/04/11 03:53 AM
Hunter was 4 years old and was staying with his grandfather for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked , 'Grandpa, what's that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?' His Grandpa was a little taken aback, but he decided to tell him the truth. 'Well, Hunter, it's called sexual intercourse.’ ‘Oh,’ Little Hunter said, 'OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids. A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, 'Grandpa, it isn't called … (6 comments)
just for laughs: Is there ANYTHING left to be for Halloween?
- 10/28/11 06:12 AM
Before you choose a Halloween costume this year, it's important to consider whether it's appropriate. You may feel your costume is creative, but in these politically correct times, you need to take the feelings of others into account! The following costumes have been deemed politically incorrect, so beware. I purposely posted this 3 days prior to Halloween to give you ample time to make the appropriate changes to you original selection. Enjoy, Happy Halloween. Raggedy Ann. This costume clearly objectifies women. Werewolf. Offensive to animal advocates and those with male-pattern baldness. Cave man. The proper term should be "evolutionarily challenged"; "man" … (6 comments)
just for laughs: Questions for a Friday Funny Discussion
- 10/28/11 01:26 AM
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one? If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one out of five enjoys it? Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with? If people from Poland are called Poles,then why aren't people from Holland called Holes? If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist? If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for? If … (6 comments)
Nucazza, aligns itself with banks and credit unions all over the country to bring the message of choice and transparency to the banks customers. Through Webinars, co-branding and a message of positive choice we can identify home buyers on behalf of the lending institution and give them all the tools to make an informed decision as to how they wish to buy a home and how they wish to pay for the services provided. Nucazza, LLP will pass all interested home buyers to our database of participating Realtors. We are a free service to the home buyers as well as all ACRE graduates. We are an ACRE industry partner in the education, effectuation and Rabble Rousing of the Alternatives to Commission.
While in my 25th year as a multi-state title insurance agent I am fulfilling a promise I made to myself just 3 days into my new career. "This industry is broken, I need to part of the change" Over my tenure, the companies I have been involved with, Family Abstract, Inc. et al has been involved in over 100,000 real estate transactions. The number one question that continually rose was regarding the commissions being paid to the Realtors(r) at closing. The buyers insisted it was their money that paid for the commissions since it was added to the sales price, the sellers believed it was their money because it was paid as part of the sales price and the "Gentlemen of Real Estate that began it all were smart enough to put it in the Agreement of Sale to protect their own ASSets. Question 1A was, what does 6% commission have anything to do with the value my agent brought me? How does one equate to the other? Why am I handing money to everyone? :(
Nucazza, LLP was created as a way of giving back for an incredibly rich life that I have gotten to enjoy thanks to the real estate industry. I see great changes coming in real estate all to the benefit of our children and our grandchildren. Both as buyers and sellers as well as for those that become a new "Evolutionary" Realtor all will enjoy the richness of life that will be associated with this profession.
My job is Chief Evangelist, You don't know me... But you will
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