real estate advertising: "A Roach from Sunset" - Getting High on MLS Bloopers - 07/27/20 03:24 PM
Hi Folks - There were some hilarious real estate advertising bloopers this week, and I have also added a few of my all-time favorites. I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoyed discovering them!
Tokes and Blokes
“Come joint us at the open” (A high time hosted by Willie Nelson.)
“Aroach from Sunset Blvd” (Snoop Dogg's Christmas Wish List)
“New carpot ” (Why "slow your roll"?)
“Big yard w/ trees & lushes” (How did you get my address?)
“Closet to entertainment” (Attention West Hollywood!)
TMI
“Credit for pantsing” (I predict a full moon tonight.)
"Korean countertops" (I hope they weren't designed by Kim Jong-un's hair stylist.)
“Close to poopular … (40 comments)

real estate advertising: "Off-side parking" - New Blooper Blog! - 05/13/20 06:17 PM
 
 
Hi My AR friends! I know we can all use something to lift our spirits, so I am reposting one of my blooper blogs, and I have added a lot of new material. If you laugh just once, then it was worrth the time. Stay safe and well!
 
Huh?
"Off-side parking" (I told you not to  drink and drive.)
"Located between Malibu and Santa Barbara" (Your eye for detail is underwhelming.)
"Dull occupancy" (...Rather like my last blind date.)
"Close to Hole Foods" (This must be a donut chain...)
"Screened doors lead to new dock" (Next time check the tide levels before building.)
DUH!
"Now in moving condition" (Apparently … (21 comments)

real estate advertising: BLOOPER DAY IS BACK! (MLS gaffes and laughs) - 02/24/20 05:35 PM
 
 
Blooper Day is back by request my friends. Please enjoy some of these oldies I posted, as well as a lot of new hilarious MLS gaffes to add to the bag of crazy: 
Fruits and Nuts"Raid your kitchen of empty wine bottles" (I'll bet I can kill off a good Cabernet faster than Raid. Just sayin'...)
“Plum missing” (Offered by Little Jack Horner Real Estate and Produce Company.)
“Overlooks steam” (For those in the market for a porno movie theater...)
“Sink spayer missing” (That explains the dog collar in the garbage disposal.)
“Sledding doors” (Why bother - you’re already going downhill fast.)
Screws and Screwballs“Security bras” (Does … (54 comments)

real estate advertising: HILARIOUS D.O.A. LISTING REMARKS - THE BLOOPER BLOG - 10/31/19 06:48 PM
   

Hi Friends - One of my zany followers asked me to re-post this for Halloween. Here is my D.O.A. post...with a few "killer" updates:
 
It’s Blooper day once again, my friends. There were enough typo casualties in the nationwide MLS listings this past week to fill an English Grammar ER. These are the cases that required serious triage, and of course, I was happy to help.  Please enjoy:
The Oozy “Nice wounded area” (The area where the arrow impaled your skull?) “Calf after 7 pm.” (Apparently someone is having sliders for dinner…)
“Natural wildlife coroner” (High roadkill … (40 comments)

real estate advertising: MLS Humor - Sell or "Smell" - 06/26/19 01:48 PM

Hi, friends – welcome to this week’s edition of “How to shoot yourself in the foot in a public forum.” 
Gone To Waste“MUST be accompanied” (Is that why an accordion player is trailing me?)
“Tall pams sway in the breeze” (Oh yes, the Pams - my favorite women’s basketball team.)
“Call or don’t go” (Charming. Do you also cook small children?)
“Nice back dried up” (Oh, I just thought you were breaded.)
“Very small car garage” (Send in the clowns…)
Obviously Wasted“Don’t let peeling pant influence you” (If anyone peels off my pants, it better be Clooney.)
“Notice of  tenant moves” (Does one of his moves involve peeling off … (38 comments)

real estate advertising: “Big square feets” - Blooper Footprints on the MLS - 04/30/19 06:54 PM

 
Welcome back to the Blooper Blog. The week is in full swing, and the MLS is already rife with gaffes. Are agents typing their listing remarks while perched on bar stools at Hooters? Check out these hilarious typos:
Dare I Inquire?“Do nut park in back” (Sign at L.A.P.D. headquarters.)
“A grate deal” (Are you selling homes or Parmesan?)
“Bestiful jew carpet” (Said the Fiddler on the Roof.)
“Charming porch swinger” (Take my advice, never date a monkey.)
"Call for fat response" (Why pick up a phone when I can just eat more cake?)
Uh, What’s That You Said?“Big square feets” (Well you know what they say about … (48 comments)

real estate advertising: “Fatal inspection completed” The Blooper Blog - 04/08/19 03:25 PM
 
  
 
Well it's Blooper Day again folks, and some of these comments and advertising blunders were dead on arrival. Maybe these descriptions won't help sell listings, but at least they may provide a chuckle or two. Please enjoy:
 
Call A Doctor
 
“Fatal inspection completed.” (May you rest in peace.)
 “Balcony is unsaaf” (Well that must have been one helluva drop.)
 “Nothing but the sound of wind chimps” (And all this time I've been waiting for pigs to fly...)
 “Just give us a shot” (Methinks you’ve already had one too many.)
 “Just bring your tootbrush” (Is brushing one's toot now a thing?)
 
Call an Optometrist
 “The wall colors meld in … (29 comments)

real estate advertising: It's Blubber Fryday! ...uh I mean Blooper Friday! - 03/29/19 11:32 AM

 
Hi Friends - Welcome to Blooper Friday. Some things never change, and it seems that a lack of proofreading is one of them. Here are some new bloopers and a few of my favorite oldies for your pleasure. Please enjoy these hysterical gaffes: 
 
Cooking Your Own Goose?  
 
"Extra oven, warm drawers" (That's your first clue not to stick your ass in the oven.) 
 
"Two bedrooms and large orifice" (Congratulations - you managed to get your foot into it.)
 
"Warts seeing" (If your warts have eyes, I'm guessing it's an STD.)
"Watch the moaning sun" (It's moaning about your inability to proofread.)
 
"Use your imagininaton" (Well, you certainly … (58 comments)

real estate advertising: SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION - 02/15/19 04:12 PM
Just wanted to share this article from Sunday's LA Times with my AR Family. TGIF! 
 
(27 comments)

real estate advertising: "Built-in Book shives" - Hilarious MLS Bloopers - 01/06/19 10:52 AM
 ​
 
Hi friends – Happy 2019! It seems we have started with a blast of bloopers, but it’s always good to begin the new year with a smile. Please enjoy:   A Cut Above   “Built-in book shives” (This must be cutting edge literature.)    "Nice House - creek runs through it"  (Maybe it's time to call RotoRooter.)   “Nests on all levels” (Hence the droppings in your hair.)   “New toilets insulted” (Who knew crappers were so sensitive?)   “Closet Saturday” (Oh please - this is West Hollywood where nothing is closeted.)   A Notch Below   “Near jigging trail” (Is … (41 comments)

real estate advertising: "Open canceled - seller suck" - Crazy MLS Bloopers - 10/26/18 05:33 PM
 
If selling houses is like selling dreams, then welcome to my nightmare. Check out these hilarious bloopers that may convince buyers NOT to buy a home:
Interpreter, Please?“Iv covered walls” (You're selling Mayo Clinic?)
“No night hors” (Tell that to the gals working Hollywood Blvd.)
“Wall rocks in kitchen” (The Italians must be trying to unload Pompeii.)
“Wired for cabal” ('Must be the Russian embassy. Niet, thanks.)
“Pls see tim change” (May I take photos while he does so?)
Did You Pay For This Ad?“Vacant lad” (Good for you – I highly endorse self-assessment.)
“Book runs through backyard” (Hmmm, finally some writing that has legs…)
“WiFe included” (I suppose selling her … (35 comments)

real estate advertising: July Jollies - The Blooper Blog is Back! - 07/28/18 12:53 PM

Hi Friends, some of you asked for another MLS blooper post, so I aim to please. Here is a mixture of some new head-scratching bloopers, as well as some of my old favorites that I thought were so funny they deserved another round:  
Plug In The George Foreman“Radiation heat” (Buy, fry, and die.)
"Really goose house" (We'll bend over backwards for you.)
“Flame retarded fabrics” (I think the flames had the same effect on you.)
“Sale due to divorcee"  (Did you really believe she was your hubby's mechanic?)
"Chandeeleer excluded" (Because it fell on your head and scrambled your alphabet?)
And Now For the Side Dishes“Drawing for a pad” (For … (26 comments)

real estate advertising: The Blooper Blog - Because we all need a few laughs - 06/26/18 02:19 PM
 
This is pre-vacay hustle week, so for your amusement,  I am re-posting one of my Blooper Blogs with a few new additions. One field of study in education must be in hibernation, my friends – spelling! But how much fun would we have if we couldn’t occasionally laugh at some of these ridiculous gaffes from the MLS and the local real estate ads? Please enjoy:
Where the Bodies Lie…“Lvg newly planted” (RIP – just like your listing.)
"Please do not test me"  (If I did, you'd get an 'F.')
“Corn early” (Agricultural update provided by Old MacDonald..)
“Beautiful craftmanshit” (So it's a pile of crap … (38 comments)

real estate advertising: “Fruit archer in yard” - The Blooper Blog is Back! - 05/31/18 04:43 PM

 
 It's Blooper Friday, folks, and Summer Daze seems to be rampant. Please enjoy these MLS and real estate advertising gaffes:
Beans and Such
“Open lentil 2:00”  (Clueless agent at 1:00)
 
“Fruit archer in yard” (That explains the arrow in your gourd.)
 
“Great color flavors” (Spoiler Alert: Licking lead paint kills brain cells.)
 
“Area is tranquilizing” (So is Ambien, but we know where that allegedly leads.)
 
“No need to go anywear for vacation” (I suggest a trip to summer school.)
 
Beano for Lunch
 
“Large pati with BBQ hook-up” (So large Pati has gas?)
 
“Come for frosty margarita” (Warm her up or call an Uber.)
 
“Built-in expresso machine” (Did it express its dismay … (31 comments)

real estate advertising: It's Blooper Friday - Enjoy the Laughs! - 04/27/18 03:20 PM

 
PROS AND CONS
"This is a new con job” – (Obviously this is a government project.)“
You can't heart noise” (Can you "heart" me saying that your spelling sucks?)
“Many yucks plants” (Well that explains the cover charge.)
“Attach your car to offer” (Competition just reached a new low in real estate.)
"Horse leaks repaired" (That's a hearty endorsement for Equestrian Panty Shields.)
“New granite pool” (Do you mean gunite, or did this house fall into a quarry?)
LOSERS AND BOOZERS
“This is a smart hoouse” (The same cannot be said for the agent.)
“Homes going at top speed” (Hence the need for speed bumps in trailer parks.)
“Free DNA Test” … (20 comments)

real estate advertising: Hilarious Real Estate Bloopers - 04/05/18 09:51 PM
Hi Blooper fans. This must be a short blooper post as I am traveling, so I selected ten humdingers just to send you into the weekend with laughter. Thanks to AR's own fabulous Jane Peters for her incredible find! Please enjoy:
 
 
Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My! 
"Big wok in closet" (Big fire truck in driveway.)
"Copper tubb is hammerd" (So is the agent.)
"Nice tail behind" (I just assumed you had a load in your trousers.)
"Newly completed addition to horse" (That explains the hoof print embedded in your forehead.)
"Home on col de sock" (Agent on amphetamines.)
"Your clients ate royalty" (This gives "passing the … (32 comments)

real estate advertising: "Cow first" - Great MLS Bloopers - 03/13/18 04:35 PM

 
 
It’s Blooper Friday, and the spelling and grammar rebels are at it again, folks. Welcome to the Blooper Blog. Please enjoy these hilarious gaffes:
 
A Roo
 
“Flex bedroos”  (The latest trend in kangaroo housing...)
 
"Pants are optional choice" (Tell that to your arresting officer.)
 
“Great locomotion” (As we say in California, “EARTHQUAKE”!!!)
 
“Closet Sunday” (Sorry, but I live in West Hollywood where all closets are empty.)
 
“Interior designer comes with house.” (My mistake - it seems someone still is in the closet.)
 
A Moo
 
“Cow for more info” (Sorry, but I don't speak moo.)
 
“Must coop sellers banker” (Why – does she lay eggs?)
 
”Acheway to kitchen” (Everyone aches when I’m … (29 comments)

real estate advertising: The Blooper Blog - Hilarious MLS Gaffes - 02/16/18 01:48 PM
 
 
Hi folks - Welcome to Blooper Friday. Below are some of my former favorites, as well as a whole crop of new gaffes. I can guarantee that some of these bloopers found in the MLS are on someone’s  “My Biggest Blooper List.” Keep proof-reading and spell-checking, my friends, or you may be guilty of hilarious typos like the following:
Heredity“Escape the nose” (This must be the reason Walter Matthau's children left home.)
“Please don’t arrive eerie” (This is Hollywood- everything is eerie!)
“2 acre poverty in Bel Air” (Poverty in Bel Air means someone’s Bentley was repossessed.)
“Horse wine country” (I hear 2017 was a … (46 comments)

real estate advertising: “Matching back smash” - Hilarious MLS Bloopers - 02/04/18 03:14 PM
I
 
It's Blooper Day! Well friends, it has been an exciting week full of post-Super Bowl celebration. However, it seems a few folks still have hangovers, and these MLS bloopers are a great indication: 
 
Kick-off
 
“Matching back smash” (This agent has a future in the WWF.)
 
“White quarts in bath” (If it’s a quart of vodka, count me in.)
 
“Stunning shaking cabinets” (Another exciting listing on the San Andreas Fault.)
 
”Beautiful root top view” (The only view from my roots is gray hair.)
 
“Give feeds back” (Said the cow to his stomach.)
 
"2 beds, 2 bats" (Great feature - everyone gets his own rat with wings.)
 
Halftime
 
“Vines cowering patio” (It’s … (22 comments)

real estate advertising: Holiday Special - The Blooper Blog - 12/19/17 12:16 PM

 
Hi Folks. Those of you who kindly follow me know that I post blogs with lists of bloopers I collect from the MLS and local real estate ads, as well as submissions from AR friends from all over the U.S. and Canada. Some gaffes are so bizarre and hilarious that I have often been asked how they can possibly be real. Well today I am submitting in its entirety one MLS entry that was sent to me by AR's own Jane Peters. (Thank you, Jane.)
 
I know English is a second language for many, which is something I truly respect and admire. However, … (82 comments)

 
Gwen Banta (Sotheby's International Realty)

Gwen Banta

Los Angeles, CA

More about me…

Sotheby's International Realty

Address: 9255 Sunset Blvd, Mezzanine, West Hollywood, CA, 90069

Office: 310(205) 030-5140

Mobile: (323) 252-1700

A very humorous Blog that highlights gaffes from the MLS and real estate ad bloopers.


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