friday funny: LOL Friday: You Again?!
- 11/05/10 03:32 AM
Leave it to Maxine to tell it like it is...
Let's face it
After Monday and Tuesday, even the CALENDAR says W-T-F!
I really think I'll end up with Maxine's attitude when I'm of the elderly persuasion. I'm looking forward to it. Have a great weekend everybody!
Heather Chavez, Real Estate Virtual Assistant
… (9 comments)
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friday funny: LOL Friday - Some Advice for the Menfolk
- 06/25/10 03:09 AM
Never irritate a woman who can operate a backhoe!
Thus endeth the lesson.
Remember: Women are angels. When someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We're flexible like that.
Heather Chavez, Real Estate Virtual Assistance - Second Self Virtual Assistance: When There Isn't Enough of You to Go Around!
… (24 comments)
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friday funny: Remember The Hollywood Squares
- 02/11/10 05:01 PM
Do you remember the Hollywood Squares? I used to love the show as a little girl. Paul Lynde was always my favorite. These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.
Q. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness! (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)
Q. Do female frogs croak?A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water … (12 comments)
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friday funny: What to Do When You Are Bored at Work
- 01/29/10 01:15 AM
My cousin sent these to me and I just had to share. You can see she is just as sick and twisted as I am to find this entirely funny.
What to Do When You Are Bored at Work:
1. Kill a few flies.
2. Put them in the sun to dry for one hour.
3. Once they are dry, pick a pencil and paper and let your imagination flow...
Have a great day!
Heather Chavez, Real Estate Virtual Assistant - Second Self Virtual Assistance: When There Isn't Enough of You to Go Around!
… (10 comments)
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friday funny: Amazingly Simple Home Remedies
- 01/29/10 12:30 AM
Amazingly Simple Home Remedies - THESE REALLY WORK!! I checked this out on Snopes.com and it's for real!1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.2. For the guys: Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. 3. For high blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after … (12 comments)
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friday funny: My Living Will
- 01/22/10 03:12 AM
Last night, my family and I were sitting in the living room and I said to them, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." They got up, unplugged my computer and threw out my wine.
They’re such jerks!
Heather Chavez, Real Estate Virtual Assistant - Second Self Virtual Assistance: When There Isn't Enough of You to Go Around!
… (17 comments)
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friday funny: Can Cold Water Clean Dishes?
- 01/15/10 02:28 AM
(An oldie but a goodie) Can Cold Water Clean Dishes?
This is for all the germ conscious folks that worry about using cold water to clean.John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan.After spending a great evening chatting the night away, the next morning John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate and questioned his grandfather asking, 'Are these plates clean?'His grandfather replied, 'They're as clean as cold water can get em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!'For lunch … (14 comments)
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friday funny: Friday Funnies: The Story of My Life
- 12/03/09 03:18 PM
Have you ever had "one of those days"? You're running late. You don't know where you left your car keys. The dog's gotten a hold of your favorite pillow and used it as a chew toy (is that just me?). Just be thankful you aren't one of these guys:
Have a great weekend everyone. And remember, it's always better to be 5 minutes early than 5 minutes late. You don't want to miss YOUR boat!
Heather Chavez, Real Estate Virtual Assistant - Second Self Virtual Assistance: When There Isn't Enough of You to Go Around!
… (25 comments)
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friday funny: The Truth is Out There (And it Hurts)
- 11/05/09 04:16 PM
THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE IN OUR OWN COUNTRY! We must stop this immediately!Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper?Groceries are heavier and everything is farther away. Yesterday, I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!You know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up, they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am...a lip reader?I also think they are much … (32 comments)
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friday funny: LOL Friday: A Walk on the Wild Side
- 10/30/09 06:44 AM
When my son and I were at the store the other day, we walked by a whole rack of these. So, you know I just HAD to take a photo and share:
These delightful little "blankets with sleeves" now come in fun animals prints for you to endulge your "wild side" (it even says so on the box!). For those of you with absolutely no motor skills to maneuver the complexities of a blanket but are aware of your keen fashion sense, the leopard-print Snuggie is just the thing for you!
Heather Chavez, Real Estate Virtual Assistant - Second Self … (20 comments)
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friday funny: DWI in a La-Z-Boy?
- 10/22/09 06:12 PM
Apparently, you can get a DWI while operating ANYTHING with a motor. A Minnesota man was arrested after plowing his motorized La-Z-Boy into a parked car. His blood alcohol level was 0.29, more than three times the legal limit. This motorized bad boy was tricked out with a stereo and cup holders. Who says Minnesota doesn't know how to party!
Heather Chavez, Real Estate Virtual Assistant - Second Self Virtual Assistance: When There Isn't Enough of You to Go Around!
… (18 comments)
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friday funny: LOL Friday: Where to Live After Retirement
- 09/04/09 01:47 AM
No matter which of these regions you live you, I'm sure you can relate:
You can live in Phoenix, Arizona where..... 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade. 2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl. 3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town. 4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.5. You know that 'dry heat' is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and … (24 comments)
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friday funny: LOL Friday: Bananas vs Cherries
- 09/03/09 06:03 PM
Beware the Banana KKK. They ride around on gummy bears lighting pretzel crosses on fire in front of Cherry homes. You see, Cherries are the natural enemy of Bananas because Bananas feel that Cherries act all high and mighty since they get to sit atop the ice cream sundae while Bananas have been delegated to a lifetime at the bottom of the banana split. And their name is actually part of the concoction, for goodness sakes! It's not a Cherry Sundae now, is it? Keep this in mind and hide your cherries next time you see one of these guys riding … (22 comments)
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friday funny: More Random Ramblings
- 08/28/09 07:14 AM
Random Ramblings continued:
- Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the___was going on when I first saw it. - I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it. - How the hell … (11 comments)
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friday funny: LOL Friday: Gotta Love the Drunks
- 08/28/09 06:43 AM
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door, where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?" asked his wife. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks. "No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!" "Well, you … (64 comments)
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friday funny: Random Ramblings
- 08/28/09 04:27 AM
I received these Random Thoughts in my email and laughed so hard, I had to pass them along:
- I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. - More often than not, when someone is telling me a story, all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me. - Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. - I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have … (2 comments)
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friday funny: LOL Friday: All Mixed Up
- 08/14/09 03:13 PM
Prison vs. Work (Just in case you ever got the two mixed up, this should make things a bit clearer)IN PRISON.. you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.IN PRISON...you get three meals a day.AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.IN PRISON..you get time off for good behavior.AT WORK...you get more work for good behavior.IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.IN … (17 comments)
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friday funny: LOL Friday: Women Are Like Phones
- 08/07/09 03:03 AM
Women are like phones:
They like to be held, talked to and touched often.But, push the wrong button and you'll get disconnected!
Be careful how you handle your women, boys. Happy Friday, everyone!
Heather Chavez - Second Self Virtual Assistance: When There Isn't Enough of You to Go Around!
… (15 comments)
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friday funny: My Favorite Sound in the World
- 07/23/09 04:16 PM
Just a little something to start your Friday off right:
This isn't my child or any relation to me. I just think a baby's laughter can cure just about anything. I especially love how the baby's body shakes up and down when they laugh. LOVE IT!
Heather Chavez - Second Self Virtual Assistance - When There Isn't Enough of You to Go Around!"
… (30 comments)
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friday funny: LOL Friday: Advice for Women
- 06/12/09 02:19 AM
Some good, solid advice to pass along to your mom, daughter, granddaughter, niece, aunt, girlfriend or any woman passing by on the street. They'll thank you for it later!
1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.4. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.5. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so we can … (32 comments)
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Leave it to Maxine to tell it like it is...
;)
;)
;)
