bella vista arkansas real estate: Hotel Bill
- 07/07/11 11:32 PM
(This is too funny not to share) A married couple are traveling by car from Victoria to Prince George. Being Seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue, … (8 comments)
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bella vista arkansas real estate: What a doctor can and we can't
- 07/06/11 10:43 PM
A woman goes to the doctor all black and blue ...
Doctor: "What happened?" Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes
home drunk he beats me to a pulp." Doctor: "I have a real good remedy for that. When your husband comes home
drunk, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in
your mouth but don't swallow. Just keep swishing and swishing until he goes
to bed in his drunken stupor." Two weeks later the woman comes back to the … (13 comments)
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bella vista arkansas real estate: First Time Sex
- 07/05/11 11:25 PM
FIRST TIME SEX
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some protection. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy … (16 comments)
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bella vista arkansas real estate: Spread the Stupidity
- 07/05/11 12:32 AM
… (13 comments)
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bella vista arkansas real estate: Vaseline
- 07/03/11 11:17 PM
… (17 comments)
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bella vista arkansas real estate: The directions said that:
- 07/02/11 11:08 PM
The directions said that:
a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.
Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' … (11 comments)
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bella vista arkansas real estate: Boy and a puppy
- 07/01/11 11:09 PM
A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups and set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of a little boy. "Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies." "Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, "These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money." The boy dropped … (11 comments)
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bella vista arkansas real estate: Long read for me but worth it
- 06/30/11 11:15 PM
… (10 comments)
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bella vista arkansas real estate: 1972
- 06/29/11 11:22 PM
Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Joe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. Thirty years later, Joe was walking through the Tulsa Zoo with his family. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Joe and his family were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Joe, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man. Remembering the encounter in 1972, Joe could not … (10 comments)
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bella vista arkansas real estate: Therapy
- 06/28/11 10:50 PM
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.. 'Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me, she told him. 'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few … (10 comments)
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bella vista arkansas real estate: The Bumblebee
- 06/27/11 11:03 PM
THE BUMBLEBEE: A bumblebee, if dropped into an open tumbler, will be there until it dies, unless it is taken out. It never sees the means of escape at the top, but persists in trying to find some way out through the sides near the bottom.. It will seek a way where none exists, until it completely destroys itself..
… (9 comments)
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bella vista arkansas real estate: The Bat
- 06/26/11 11:35 PM
THE BAT: The ordinary bat that flies around at night, a remarkable nimble creature in the air, cannot take off from a level place. If it is placed on the floor or flat ground, all it can do is shuffle about helplessly and, no doubt, painfully, until it reaches some slight elevation from which it can throw itself into the air. Then, at once, it takes off like a flash.
… (8 comments)
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bella vista arkansas real estate: The Buzzard
- 06/25/11 11:13 PM
THE BUZZARD: If you put a buzzard in a pen that is 6 feet by 8 feet and is entirely open at the top, the bird, in spite of its ability to fly, will be an absolute prisoner. The reason is That a buzzard always begins a flight from the ground with a Run of 10 to 12 feet. Without space to run, as is its habit, It will not even attempt to fly, but will remain a prisoner for life in a small jail with no top.
… (8 comments)
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bella vista arkansas real estate: Riddle of the Day
- 06/24/11 11:09 PM
Riddle of the Day Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Michael J. Fox has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. The Pope has one but doesn't use it. Clinton uses his all the time. Obama is one. Mickey Mouse has an unusual one. Liberace never used his on women.. Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his. Cher claims that she took on 3. We never saw Lucy use Desi's. What is it? Answer below! (This is pretty good) *********************************************************** The answer is: 'A Last Name.' You didn't think I'd send you … (9 comments)
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bella vista arkansas real estate: An Old Guy
- 06/23/11 11:29 PM
An Old Guy An old guy (sort of like you and me, not in the best of shape) was working out in the gym when he spotted a sweet young thing... He asked the trainer that was near by "What machine in here should I use to impress that sweet thing over there?" The trainer looked him up and down and said "I would try the ATM in the lobby".....
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bella vista arkansas real estate: When I get a closing I do an “abhiaya”.
- 06/22/11 11:22 PM
OK after this one only three more to go and I’m done with the National Spelling Bee. In my former office the PB stated she liked to do this but I won’t tell you what she called it. Anyway my problem is that I don’t do it often enough. Now for the meaning of Abhinaya is a concept in Indian dance and drama derived from Bharata's Natya Shastra. Although now, the word has come to mean 'the art of expression', etymologically it derives from Sanskrit abhi- 'towards' + nii- 'leading/guide', so literally it means a 'leading towards' (leading the audience … (5 comments)
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bella vista arkansas real estate: You gotta love this one!!!
- 06/21/11 11:32 PM
OK people as you know I posted an article about a politician and was just crucified. So to all who commented on that one this one is on me. You may not like the man but you have got to love his humor. I make no comment other than what I’ve already said. Click on the link and enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QK3Eo9cScEQ&feature=share
… (7 comments)
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bella vista arkansas real estate: Nude Pool Party
- 06/21/11 01:47 AM
Hold onto your seats as I usually don’t do this but I couldn’t pass this one up. It’s a completely nude party in a pool. Be sure and shut the door or even better lock it before clicking on the link. I give you fair warning again it is a completely nude pool party. I would like your feedback and I hope AR does not block me for posting this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNs7NLTbEKg
… (11 comments)
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bella vista arkansas real estate: Is it puddin or pudding well it’s a matter of speaking…
- 06/21/11 12:13 AM
If you didn’t notice I did not put the secret word in the heading today I did that for a purpose by the way the word is “brogue”. I was listening to a speaker and he used the word. I knew what he meant but did not know how to spell it so again I asked the wife and she didn’t miss a beat. The meaning of (brog) is the pronunciation peculiar to a dialect, esp., that of English as spoken by the Irish. So how do we relate that to real estate? While the client is speaking do we … (4 comments)
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bella vista arkansas real estate: Careful I may use my knowledge of “capoeira” on you.
- 06/19/11 11:18 PM
Don’t bother going to word and looking for this word (pun) it does not recognize it. This is another one of those words I wrote down for the National Spelling Bee. So without any more hesitation here is the meaning: (Portuguese pronunciation: [kapuˈejɾɐ]) is a Brazilian art form that combines elements of martial arts, sports, and music. It was created in Brazil mainly by descendants of African slaves with Brazilian native influences, probably beginning in the 16th century. It is known by quick and complex moves, using mainly power kicks and quick leg sweeps, with some ground and aerial acrobatics, knee … (11 comments)
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