fayetteville arkansas real estate: Things to Consider - 09/29/11 12:14 AM
 
To everyone who is calling for stricter gun laws in light of the tragedy in Tucson, may I offer this little tidbit: If guns kill people, then pencils misspell words, cars drive drunk, and spoons make people fat! Remember: Hold the person accountable for their actions, not the means they chose to utilize!!!
"Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed."
Dear God, My prayer for 2011 is a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don't mix these up like you did last year. Amen
 
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: Then nun and the cab driver - 09/28/11 12:18 AM
 
This one has been around for several turns.  I had to make some changes to it but not lose the essence of the post.  Enjoy
 
A cab driver picks up a nun. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you. Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me." She responds, "first, you have to be single & you must be Catholic." ... ... ... He says, "Yes, I'm single & Catholic!" The nun kisses the driver then asks why he … (12 comments)

fayetteville arkansas real estate: Going over 300,000 - 09/26/11 12:10 AM
 
Going over 300,000
Well Sunday was the day when I officially went over the 300,000 mark.  Funny I thought about bells and whistles going off and confetti dropping down from the ceiling.  So far nothing has happened but I’m a patient kind of guy so I’ll wait a little longer.  No nothing yet so I guess I’ll just keep on going.  By the way crossing over the 300,000 mark makes me number two in the State of Arkansas but I haven’t heard from the Governor so I guess other than for me it doesn’t mean that much.  Enjoy your day … (24 comments)

fayetteville arkansas real estate: 911 Call - 09/21/11 11:18 PM
 
An elderly Arkansas woman called 911 on her cell phone to report her car had been broken into.  She was hysterical as she explained her situation to the dispatcher.  They’ve taken the steering wheel, the brake pedal, the stereo and the gear shifter.  The dispatcher reassured her to stay calm an officer would soon be there.  A few minutes later, the officer radios in “Disregard.”   He says. 
Are you ready?
 
 
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Come on you’ve made it this far
 
 
 
 
“She got in the … (16 comments)

fayetteville arkansas real estate: Gladly Living As A Difference Maker - 09/20/11 11:18 PM
 
Gladly Living As A Difference Maker
With the Sunday service the lead pastor usually starts out with “You notice our outline is Gladly Living As A Difference Maker would you say that with me please?”  That got me to thinking about our profession and how that phrase relates to us.  Are we not gladly living as a difference maker to the clients we serve?  If it’s the sellers or buyers or both we as agents make a difference to them if it’s selling the home or helping the buyers buy their home.  I for one am gladly living as a … (6 comments)

fayetteville arkansas real estate: Wedding Party - 09/19/11 11:25 PM
 
At a wedding party recently someone shouted, “All the married men please stand next to the one person who made you life worth living.”
 
The cocktail waitress was nearly crushed to death, followed by the bartender.  I just couldn’t resist this one.  Enjoy the day or what’s left of it.
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: Ever see someone with a “lapidify” face? - 09/18/11 12:33 AM
 
Sure you have I’ve seen my number and had one myself.  Everyone has one the question is when do you use it?  I did use it almost every day in my former profession it was a requirement of the job.  Now not so much as I don’t see the need.  I see this in some of my clients faces but usually not.  Now with that out of the way the meaning of (le pid’ e fi’) to turn into stone hence the term stone or stoned face. 
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: New Florida Law - 09/14/11 11:53 PM
 I-95 will be jammed for the next month or so........Druggies and deadbeats heading north out of Florida...    Florida is the first state - Hooray for Florida!!!!    Florida is the first state requiring drug testing to receive welfare! In signing the new law,    Republican Gov. Rick Scott said, "If Floridians want welfare, they better make sure they are drug-free.    Applicants who test positive for illicit substances won't be eligible for the funds for a year, or until they undergo treatment.  Also they pay for the test.  If they pass the State will pay them back if they don’t … (16 comments)

fayetteville arkansas real estate: AIDS WARNING - 09/12/11 11:18 PM
 
AIDS WARNING!
To all of you approaching 50 or have REACHED 50 and past, this is especially for you...... it happened to me yesterday
SENIOR CITIZENS ARE THE NATION'S LEADING CARRIERS OF AIDS! HEARING AIDS BAND AIDS ROLL AIDS WALKING AIDS MEDICAL AIDS GOVERNMENT AIDS MOST OF ALL, MONETARY AID TO THEIR KIDS!
 
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: Are we operating under a “pandect”? - 09/12/11 12:26 AM
 
Are we operating under a “pandect”?
No I don’t think we are because this is changing every year.  The attorneys need to have something to do and they are good at it.  The problem I have is the agents who make these possible and required.  Now for the meaning of (pan’dekt) a complete body of laws; legal code.  The laws keep changing because of agents doing something they know they shouldn’t do and therefore making it possible for the law to change or a new one to be enacted.     What say you?
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: Have you ever seen an agent with “boule”? - 09/09/11 11:24 PM
 
Have you ever seen an agent with “boule”?
OK enough of the one liners and jokes for at least one day I’ll go back to “Wordsmith” and see if I can pull it off.  Now I have seen them and I’m sure you have also.  The question is what to do with those agents who possess this problem.  I think now would be a good time to tell you the meaning of (boo’le) to throw oneself in spirit into some effort.  How many agents are gung ho at the beginning of the day or when a new or improved way … (10 comments)

fayetteville arkansas real estate: Golf Lesson - 09/08/11 11:19 PM
 
I’ve been teaching my grandson about golf.  I think I have him hooked as now he wants to join the high school golf team.  The other day he took my driver out in the backyard to hit a few old golf balls into the trees.  I was watching him as he drew the club back and hit a couple that would rival some pro golfers.  As he set up the last one he drew the club back and hit the ball.  I was looking for the ball to go sailing out into the tree line but instead I saw the … (10 comments)

fayetteville arkansas real estate: Thoughts 7 - 09/01/11 11:23 PM
 
The teenager was gone tonight. Susan and I were alone for the first time in days. So we turned down the lights, lit a candle and snuggled up on the couch..to watch Wheel of Fortune by candlelight.
 
I've figured out a way to incorporate the dreaded exercise into my morning routine. I gargle after brushing with Listerine Total Care. It is so blazing hot I immediately run around the house like a cat that's had kerosene and an ignited match applied to its backside.
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: Just Because - 08/31/11 11:03 PM
 
Took a muscle relaxer for my back and I am suddenly sooo sleeeeepy…ZZZ-zzzz-ZZzzz-hngGGggh-Ppbhww-zZZzzzZZ
 
The front door was accidently left open and our dog was gone.  After unsuccessfully whistling and calling, my wife got in the car and went looking for her.  She drove around the neighborhood for some time with no lick.  Finally she stopped beside a couple out for a walk and asked if they had seen our dog.  “You mean the one following your car?”
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: Mrs. Right??? - 08/30/11 12:31 AM
 
Mrs. Right???
 
 
OK as the story goes the couple had been married around 10 years when they went in to see the counselor.  The woman was asked what the problem was and she said there was no problem that everything was just fine.  The counselor asked the husband what the problem was.  He said “I married Miss Right”.  To that the counselor said “You knew that when you married her”.  He replied “Yes I did but I didn’t know”…  Are you ready?
 
 
 
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: Dallas TX and parkin - 08/28/11 01:07 AM
 
This was just brought to my attention so I checked it out and it is true.  I put my own slant so not to copy someone else’s’ work
 
Beginning January 1, 2009 the Dallas Police Department will begin enforcing the Uninsured Motorist Ordinance, approved by the Dallas City Council on May 28, 2008. Under this ordinance drivers stopped for a traffic violation who cannot show proof of auto insurance meeting state requirements will be issued a citation and will have his or her vehicle towed at the owner’s expense. The City already tows the vehicles of uninsured motorists involved … (8 comments)

fayetteville arkansas real estate: Real thoughtful thoughts - 08/24/11 11:28 PM
 
Real thoughtful thoughts
A football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field.  The head coach immediately suspended practice while police were called to investigate. After a complete analysis, experts determined that the white substance unknown to players was the GOAL LINE. Practice was resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: Thoughts 2 - 08/21/11 11:41 PM
 
More thoughts
I'd been gone all day and came home and got on Facebook. I was feeling a little guilty so I shut it down and went to the living room to spend some quality family time. Wife got up and went to take a shower and grandson left to take my place on the computer.  Think their trying to tell me something?
Some days it makes you wonder just how much one person can handle and if you are totally making a huge mistake in your life.  
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: Some Thoughts - 08/21/11 12:33 AM
 
Some thoughts…
Wouldn’t it be ironic for someone to choke to death on a Lifesaver?  I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail yesterday. Women are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries. CEO's are now playing MINIATURE golf. Oil companies had to lay off 25 Congressmen. A stripper was injured when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies  I saw a Mormon today with only ONE wife. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you should call them and ask if they meant you, or them? I have been using Listerine Total … (15 comments)

fayetteville arkansas real estate: Boudreaux and Band-Aids - 08/19/11 12:58 AM
 
Boudreaux staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Thibodeaux. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Clotile. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step.
As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing not to yell, Boudreaux sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks … (9 comments)

 
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James Dray

Exceptional Agents, Outstanding Results

Bentonville, AR

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