fayetteville arkansas real estate: They sent my Census form back
- 08/18/11 12:07 AM
They sent my Census form back, AGAIN!!! In response to the question: "Do you have any dependents?" I replied -"12 million illegal immigrants; 3 million crack heads; 42 million unemployable people, 2 million people in over 243 prisons.
My biggest and not so notable deduction was 535 idiots in the U.S. House and Senate. Apparently, this was NOT an acceptable answer.... Go figure I mean it is the U.S. Government. Guess I left someone out…
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: Paco come home
- 08/17/11 12:24 AM
Paco come home…
As the story goes apparently in Spain Paco is a common boy’s name. It seems the father and Paco had a strained relationship. Nothing the father said or did could mend the tear in the relationship. As soon as Paco was old enough he left and for a long time the father never heard from him.
Finally out of despair the father placed an ad in all the newspapers in Spain. It simply said “Paco I miss you, I love you all is forgiven. Please meet me in front of the newspaper”. The rest of the … (13 comments)
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: Consider this:::
- 08/15/11 12:54 AM
Consider this.
If I don’t drink, smoke, cuss or chew this makes me 10 times better than you.
So what do you think about this? I know in the past I have done all of this and I still do some. I give you respect and I also demand you give me the same. I am no better than you and you are no better than me. Don’t you just wonder why some people think they are better than you? I bet if you looked long enough they have ghosts in their closet just as everyone else has. OK I’m … (3 comments)
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: Hot air Balloon
- 08/14/11 12:49 AM
Just wanted everyone to know I did not write this I’m just passing it on. Hope you enjoy this and it brings a smile to you face regardless of what side you are on. You could turn this around anyway you want it to read.
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted Bud Bubba fishing from a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: A NEW BEGINNING!!
- 08/12/11 12:30 AM
A New Beginning!!
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if one could find a place where you could throw away all your past failures, mistakes and sins? There is such a place and it’s called experience. Learn from your past, what’s past is past and there is nothing you can do about it other than learn from it. Commit yourself not to make the same mistakes again and keep your word. Remember when all is lost there are only a few things we can live by and one is our word, one is family, and the other is experience.
You have a … (11 comments)
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: BREAKING NEWS!!!
- 08/10/11 11:16 PM
BREAKING NEWS!! To save the economy, in August 2011, the government will start deporting old people (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs. I started crying when I thought of you. RUN, YOU OLD BUZZARD, RUN!!
Well.... someone sent it to me... and I ain’t going alone!
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: LIE DETECTOR ROBOT
- 08/10/11 12:23 AM
Dad buys a LIE DETECTOR ROBOT which slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it at dinner. "Son, where were you today?" The son says "at school dad." Robot slaps the son! "Ok, I watched a DVD at my friend’s house!" "What DVD?" "Toy story." Robot slaps the son again! "Ok, it was a porno" cries the son. Dad yells "What! When I was your age I didn't know what porn was!" Robot then slaps the dad! Mom laughs "Hahira! He's certainly YOUR son." Robot then slaps the mom. I know I laughed at this you what say … (11 comments)
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: Kid misbehaved at school
- 08/09/11 12:57 AM
Kid misbehaved at school
As the story goes a kindergarten kiddo had got into trouble in class. The parents were notified and mother went to school the next day with the little rug rat. He told the other students “Sorry” and then told the teacher “Sorry”. With that he was allowed back in class. The mother called the father and when the dad asked the mother do you think he was really sorry the mother replied “NOT ONE BIT”.
That got me to wondering how many clients or other agents even though they say one thing are really thinking … (8 comments)
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: Farmer bitten by snake
- 08/07/11 11:23 PM
Farmer bitten by snake
A farmer was working on his farm when he was bitten by a snake. He was rushed to the hospital for treatment. As the doctors were running around trying to find the right medication to treat him with one of the doctors came by and said “Sorry to hear about your accident”. The farmer looked at the doctor and replied “Accident? That was no accident I looked at that snake eye to eye and he meant to do it”. I wonder do you ever get that feeling when going to a listing presentation or meet a … (13 comments)
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: SUNDAY morning funny
- 08/07/11 12:28 AM
SUNDAY Groups of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland... As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. 'These' she explained, 'are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce.' She then asked, 'What do you do in America with your old goats?'
A spry old gentleman answered, 'They send us on bus tours!
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: Saturday morning funny
- 08/05/11 11:43 PM
SATURDAY Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word. His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?' Bob replies, 'Girlfriend? She's my wife!' Theyare knocked over, but continue to ask. 'So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?' 'I lied about my age', Bob … (18 comments)
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: FRIDAY
- 08/05/11 01:02 AM
FRIDAY A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa . 'The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes … (8 comments)
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: WEDNESDAY
- 08/03/11 12:15 AM
WEDNESDAY Bubba and Deloris took their six-year-old son to the doctor. With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small (fill in the blank). After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, 'Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.' The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table. 'Gee, Mom,' he exclaimed. 'For me?' 'Just take two,' Deloris replied. 'The rest are for your father.'
Got Ya!!!
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: Tuesday
- 08/02/11 12:02 AM
TUESDAY A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said, 'Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!' The preacher said, 'Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity.' The man said, 'I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!' The preacher said, 'No S---?'
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: Monday
- 07/31/11 11:27 PM
MONDAY The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex... Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor. The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms. Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the mother told her about the situation … (12 comments)
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: Have many times have you “frigged” at work?
- 07/30/11 11:25 PM
OK people don’t read anything into this. It’s been awhile since I’ve posted a word on wordsmith and I figured for one day at least I should. Now I will be the first to admit I do this and have done this often. The meaning of (frig’ ed) to spend time idly, foolishly, etc. Just thing about how much more you could accomplish if you didn’t do this. My mind is at light speed all the time and I wonder if I could just slow down and examine what I’m doing and where I need to be how much more … (11 comments)
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: One tired puppy
- 07/30/11 09:39 AM
I was watching the television today and saw this image. As you can tell she was sound asleep. For whatever reason when we try to take pictures of her she is afraid of the camera so she looks away and it’s difficult to get one.
After I took the first picture it awoke her. She looked at me and did not move so I took another one. Have a good day.
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: Inspectors and (Inspectors)
- 07/30/11 01:56 AM
Inspectors and (inspectors)
The other day we had a home inspection for a closing soon. The inspector had a reputation as an honorable person so I was pleased to hear the clients had chosen him for the job. The home was newer and should have had only a few minor problems. When we got the report there was a host of minor issues but only three had my clients worried.
Well we agreed to let all the minor items pass and focused on three. The first two were no problems but the last on concerning the (lintel) over the garage … (6 comments)
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: Married for 40 years
- 07/29/11 12:38 AM
After being married for 40 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said .... "Forty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl. Now ... I have a $500,000.00 home, a $35,000.00 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 63-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things." My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go … (17 comments)
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fayetteville arkansas real estate: Another golf one
- 07/27/11 11:56 PM
Another golf one
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