unprofessional work: Good Fences Make Good Neighbors, And This Fence Rocks!
- 04/10/12 08:04 PM
One of the folkloric sayings I studied in the Folklore class I took at the University of Virginia was the old idiom: "Good fences make good neighbors." May I add, and this fence rocks!
Fences, and forms thereof, have been the source of many things - property rights definition, containment, borders, lawsuits, fueds and even wars!
Much has been written about fences and neighbors - and whether they truly make good, bad or indifferent neighbors!
Well, it seems to me that it depends on the fence!
Here is one for the ages!
And so, can you tell me - what … (25 comments)
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unprofessional work: Tipping The Toilet
- 04/08/12 07:32 PM
I know it sounds alliterative, but on a home inspection one of the tests I do is tipping the toilet.
It is important that a toilet be secured properly to the floor and that the tank secured to the bowl.
Especially important, when I see new flooring, I want to know if the flange, which seats and anchors the toilet to the floor, is still in place and the toilet is bolted to it.
This bathroom has a new vinyl floor. I could see that the bolt under the one cap is very loose.
Difficult to see perhaps is the huge … (56 comments)
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unprofessional work: Solid Geometry - Area Of A Cabinet = Pi Times Plumbing Squared
- 04/06/12 07:34 PM
For some reason, when I took solid geometry in school, one day the formulas for figuring out the area of an object just clicked.
And it has helped me! When doing energy audits, one of the things I have to do is figure out the area of all the rooms so I can calculate the area of the house needing to be environmentally controlled.
Wow, you mean high school math has helped me? Yes!
Who knew that would ever happen?
So, imagine my joy when it came to determining if this cabinet is large enough for the plumbing?
Or was it … (19 comments)
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unprofessional work: Comical Deck, But The Comedy Won't Last Long
- 03/20/12 07:22 PM
There were so many things about this deck, I could call it a comical deck, but the comedy won't last long.
It is comical for two reasons:
1. Flipper has apparently never built a deck.2. There was a final County inspection of the house with an Occupancy Permit.
Here are two examples of my problems with this deck:
Wonderfully erratic, the nails used for the decking are indoor nails. Their pattern is haphazard. This deck is less than one month old and already they are rusting. As they rust, their attractive pattern is even more evident. Also, as they rust they … (23 comments)
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unprofessional work: Wiring An Outdoor Shed For Lighting And Making Sure It's Safe
- 03/04/12 07:18 PM
Wiring an outdoor shed and making sure it's safe is something most homeowners should not try to undertake.
Whenever I go into an outdoor shed and see that there is wiring, I am careful to examine what they have done and make sure that how the power gets to the shed is done properly and safely.
This shed proved so interesting it inspired a song... You've heard it before. Please, sing along.
Yooooouuuu
light up my liiiiiiiffffe.
Yooouuu give me hoooooopppppe
… (34 comments)
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unprofessional work: Flip List
- 03/01/12 08:03 PM
On this house, the selling agent, FOF (Friend Of Flipper) created quite the little disclosure issue for him/herself.
A Flip List was left on the kitchen counter. It left for the buyer all the things done by the Flipper to "improve" the house.
I am sure the list is true. And I am sure the "improvements" were not done with any permit whatever.
"New roof and roof flashing" was on the list.
No permit is needed in Virginia to put on new roof shingles.
And everything was new - shingles, plumbing penetration sleeves and chimney flashing.
Obviously the previous roof covering … (26 comments)
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unprofessional work: When Toilets Wobble
- 02/29/12 07:57 PM
One test I do in every bathroom is grab the toilet and see how well it is seated on the floor. But what can be done when toilets wobble?
Toilets wobble for a reason. They have to be attached to something!
Those two bolts on the sides of the toilet bowl attach that bowl to a flange. The flange is itself ATTACHED TO THE FLOOR STRUCTURE.
That attachment is best made with stainless steel screws. One of my pet peeves on new construction pre-drywall inspections is to see drywall screws used to attach the toilet flange! What!!??
If the flange isn't … (20 comments)
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unprofessional work: Don't Fall For This Trap!
- 02/28/12 08:01 PM
It was a dark and stormy night, um, it was a very nice morning and a terrific couple buying a house. The husband had called me a couple of days prior to the inspection with some very circumspect questions. This was a house with a lot of "remodeling," but he was told that the "$100K or so" put into it was only "cosmetic." OK...
Well, you know me - that sent all of my radar dishes pointing in the same direction.
We had a nice conversation and he heard all my typical spiels. The biggest issue, as always, is getting a … (61 comments)
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unprofessional work: Wood Pellet Stove Chimney - Up Periscope!
- 02/23/12 07:22 PM
Creativity never ends! But you never want to hear: Wood pellet stove chimney - up periscope!
Of all the things to play fast and loose with, wood stove and pellet stove chimneys would not be one of them!
The pellet stove is in a bedroom!
No protection against the wall, no hearth on the floor, kind of jammed into a hallway between the bedroom and house.
It is right in front of a window.
There is nothing, and that is NOTHING, safe about its installation. Or professional.
The exhaust "chimney" exits out back.
It goes straight through the wall, just behind … (83 comments)
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unprofessional work: Good Thing This Dryer Vents Into The Attic, Cause It Sure Can't Vent Outdoors!
- 02/15/12 09:42 PM
Good thing this dryer vents into the attic, cause it sure can't vent outdoors!
Combine a makeshift laundry room, with a holey (not holy) dryer vent, and the most interesting, but clogged, discharge outdoors I have ever seen and what do you have?
Well, for one thing, you have a lot of mold!
Interestingly, most of the mold was not near the dryer vent!
Most of the exhaust was blowing so much toward one end of the house, the end where the homeowner covered up that pesky vent hole on the side of the house, that the mold really developed there! … (73 comments)
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unprofessional work: How NOT To Flash A Chimney, Or A Roof
- 02/14/12 10:52 PM
So often, more than seeing something flashed correctly, I see how not to flash a chimney, or a roof.
Roof tar does not flashing make! Period. It's great UNDER "stuff," like shingles, or vent covers, and when under it is long lasting. But it is not intended to be installed (my word is "gooped") over "stuff!"
But it does inspire song! Please, feel free to sing along. It's best to bob your head too...
I SEE A RED CHIMNEY AND I WANT IT PAINTED BLACK,
NOT ONLY IN THE FRONT, BUT UNDER AND … (88 comments)
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unprofessional work: Where Oh Where Could The Dryer Vent Be?
- 02/10/12 09:57 PM
Where oh where could the dryer vent be?
Sometimes you know a change has been made, but you don't know where.
This dryer vent has blown directly onto the AC compressor since the house was built. That would be 1979.
A dryer vent should not be within 12' or so of a compressor. Too close, as in this case here, and the compressor will draw in air while the dryer is venting its lint-laden exhaust. That can load up the fins with lint, clogging them, and robbing the compressor and AC system of efficiency. I have seen compressors look … (88 comments)
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unprofessional work: Be A Preposition On A Home Inspection
- 02/09/12 11:01 PM
What is a preposition? My 8th grade English teacher, Miss Braun, taught me that a preposition was anything you can do to a house.
What? I mean, you can go inside, or be outside, over or under, beside or behind or in between, before or after, up and down. All those kinds of words are prepositions. They describe relation to a noun and govern it.
So, things you can do to describe your relation to a house would be a preposition. How prescient since that is what I do today!
So, when I pull up to a house and see a … (25 comments)
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unprofessional work: Screwing Up The Gutter - Repair Or Replace?
- 02/06/12 10:13 PM
As regards screwing up the gutter - repair or replace?
Homeowners must ask themselves this all the time!
First of all, this is not the first time the gutter on this vacant house has been "repaired."
How can you tell?
The soffit and fascia material has been caulked and painted, although not recently.
And the gutter has some kind of material, what I don't know, oozing out the seams.
But obviously it had come apart again.
So, this time they decided to screw it up!
Literally!
There are 12 sheet metal screws visible in this photo.
There are more on the … (60 comments)
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unprofessional work: I Really Dislike Seeing Finished Carpentry Like This, Especially On New Construction!
- 01/29/12 10:51 PM
I really like seeing finished carpentry this, especially on new construction.
One thing I like to see on new construction, especially the high end, is the finished carpentry. Indoors and out.
That is the easiest way, and most visible way, a builder can set itself off from the crowd.
SO WHY DON'T THEY?
These are both representative of what I found on a recent new construction inspection.
The left is trim outdoors. Small cracks all over the place had not been caulked. The painting was very thin, and sloppy, probably done when it was too cold outside ** . Also, there … (23 comments)
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unprofessional work: When Faux Stone Is Installed With Faux Glue - Elmer's?
- 01/18/12 10:15 PM
We all know Elmer's Glue should not be used to install most housing products, but what really happens when faux stone is installed with faux glue?
Actually faux stone is not installed with glue at all, but a mortar-based mastic. It is heavy stuff!
IT MUST BE GLUED ON CORRECTLY OR IT WILL NOT STICK!
Virtually all over this house the faux stone was coming loose.
Some of it was sagging so much, it was bulging under its own weight.
I could push on it and move it.I could pull on it and move it.
My client said, "That's really bad … (54 comments)
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unprofessional work: On New Construction, Look Under Things!
- 01/14/12 10:29 PM
Like a preposition, a home inspector's job -- on new construction, look under things!
In school I learned that a preposition is a word that describes what you can do to a building. Over, under, inside, betwixt, beside, well you get it.
Hey, that pretty much describes a home inspector's job!
And looking around the house on new construction, even if the sod isn't laid yet, you have to be like a yardbird and look over, under, sideways, and down.
Here is an innocuous looking chimney housing the gas fireplace equipment and flue.
Looks fine to me.
The siding is tight. … (28 comments)
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unprofessional work: This Staircase Could Make You A Flying Buttress!
- 01/08/12 10:24 PM
This staircase could make you a flying buttress!
A staircase is supposed to aid us in going up and down, but not in going down really fast.
This particular staircase I would not go up or down, and during the home inspection I did not want the client or Realtor (AR's Brian Block) to go up or down it either!
It was scary!
The frame is merely sitting on a platform of stacked 2x10s, and not attached.
The posts are merely resting against the house, and not attached.
It is wobbly. It is weak.
It bounces! It moves!
It is mostly … (24 comments)
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unprofessional work: The Belly Button Roof
- 01/04/12 10:23 PM
Whenever you want to make sure a tenant has a private entrance, and want to entice a client, why not put a roof over the entrance staircase?
Why not put in a belly button roof?
Now why would anyone call this a belly button roof?
After all, it's perfectly dry, shingled with durable shingles, the beams and supports are painted, there's a light over the door and it is truly a private entrance. What better thing to install to entice a new tenant into your basement apartment than a beautiful roof?
And so, why do I call this a belly button … (29 comments)
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unprofessional work: The Mystery Of The New Circuit Breaker
- 01/03/12 10:24 PM
It was the mystery of the new circuit breaker.
The inspection involved an REO, and vacant for some time. The buyer called me to set it up and asked what kinds of things we might find. I said that there was nothing typical, but often on such properties there is a lot of homeowner installations and "improvements." I told him that when I said the word "improvements" I was also wagging my fingers.
He said he understood.
Outside wasn't bad, with typical stuff for a house built in 1985. That's not very old, but also not very new and things happen. … (45 comments)
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One of the folkloric sayings I studied in the Folklore class I took at the University of Virginia was the old idiom: "Good fences make good neighbors." May I add, and this fence rocks!
;)
;)
;)
