humor: It Happens Every Time- Can you Relate to this Vine?
- 10/06/13 05:04 AM
I am getting more into the Vine app lately. A "vine," well done, is a 6 second look into the window of another person's life. Vine is kind of like Instagram meets Twitter in video format. Vines are simply 6 second videos, but you'd be suprised at how well done many are.
I have a strong belief that the real estate applications are going to become clear as time goes by.
Can you relate to this? It seems like EVERY time I need to make an important phone call, this happens.
… (20 comments)
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humor: First Time Home Buyer Questionnaire
- 07/08/12 10:58 AM
First Time Home Buyer Questionnaire
Name: _________________________________________________
Current Address:__________________________________________
__________________________________________
Email: _______________________________ Cell phone:___________________________
So that we may better serve you, please take a few minutes to answer the following questions.
Section I: Mortgage Finance
Have you been prequalified by a lender? Yes__ No__
If “yes,” Is the lender someone you found on the Internet? Yes__ No__
Would you be willing to speak to one of our trusted mortgage sources? Yes__ No__
Section II: Attorney Selection
Have you chosen an attorney? Yes__ No__
Would you be willing to speak to one of our trusted attorney sources? Yes__ No__
If you have chosen an attorney, Please answer the following:
Is real … (122 comments)
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humor: New Real Estate Law- FUBAR
- 08/22/11 04:11 PM
Right on the tail of HAMP, HAFA, HVCC, MARS, and MAP, our acronym loving government has unveiled a new initiative to address the depressed housing market. Since 3 and 4 letter acronyms haven't worked thus far, a bi-partisan initiative is getting final approval in both houses- The Federal Universal Big Acronym Regulation, or FUBAR.
FUBAR has had some components since the early 1970s, but it has been streamlined and updated to address the housing market of 2011. "Our goal," according to congressman Barney Frank "is to implement FUBAR before the end of the year and make the whole economy FUBAR, once … (27 comments)
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humor: Turnabout is Fair Play: Glossary of Consumer Real Estate Terms
- 08/16/11 02:06 AM
Much has been written about the "code" licensees employ in describing their listings. For example, "cozy" is Agentspeak for "cramped." "Potential" means that nothing has been updated since 1980. You get the picture. There are hundreds more, and I don't blame consumers for taking agents' descriptions with a grain of salt.
However, consumers are people too, and from my vantage, I have often seen the some propensity for being, shall we say, creatively interpretive in turns of the phrase from them as well. So, in the interest of a little fun, I shall offer a few examples of consumer terms needing … (49 comments)
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humor: Thank You For Bringing the Storage Under the Stairs to Our Attention
- 07/30/11 12:20 PM
To the best of my knowledge, only two things exist under stairs: little creatures who eat pens and underwear and poop lint, and storage.
I have never seen the little creatures.
Most people innately know that there is storage, or, in some cases, a full-blown closet under stairs because they have their own junk they need to hide or because they currently live somewhere with stairs. It is true.
After getting my real estate license in 1996, I was first introduced to the phenomenon of homeowners who somehow felt that having storage under the stairs made their house the purple cow … (67 comments)
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humor: Important Update on Housing Rights
- 07/20/11 01:27 AM
Item: The Senate passed a measure late yesterday evening to ensure that buyers of homes have their rights to "Housing with Dignity." The act's precepts include the right to an home in "compliance" and other minimal, basic housing rights, or to have a renumeration for the purchase of homes not in conformity to the proposed bill, which goes to the House on Friday.
Entitled "Deserving Everything Updated For A Song" (DUEFAS), the intention of the bill is to reverse owner bias against buyers seeking affordable housing. A groundbreaking piece of legislation, the bill, if signed into law, will mandate that all … (104 comments)
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humor: 12 Thoughts as I Start Summer '11
- 07/05/11 03:57 AM
Back to the zinc mine after stealing some rest over the July 4th weekend. A few thoughts thus far as I rely on "mental muscle memory" to get going:
To my colleague agents who email me their listings: cut it out. I read the hotsheets and I have amazing technology to match buyers and sellers. You do it to pacify your sellers, but why don't you educate your clients instead. It is carnival barking, and it antogonizes. Note to Self: Slim-Fast shakes should replace breakfast, not be an apéritif. Summer camp has started. Alleluia, Alleluia, let a thousand legions of Cherubim and … (16 comments)
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humor: What Can You Buy in Abbottabad for $1 Million?
- 05/04/11 09:03 AM
Do you like privacy?
Looking for that quiet getaway?
Are you security minded?
Perhaps you seek a nice pied-à-terre. Maybe you hate schlepping out the garbage all the way to the end of the driveway twice a week. Did you hear that the Hamptons and Catskills are "out?"
I have just the place for you.
That's right, a new opportunity has come up in Abbottabad, Pakistan that is a cool bargain at $1,000,000.00. Just 6-years young, this 3-story battle-tested mansion is just a stones throw from Pakistan's national military academy and just became vacant this week. Sitting on a level acre with … (62 comments)
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humor: How to Prepare Your Home for Sale
- 03/13/11 04:38 PM
How to get that Westchester County Home Staged to Sell!
First, make sure the landscaping is appealing with decorative additions. A mere lawn won't do.
Next, consider the Feng Shui of the "regular guy."
If you think your home might appeal to a certain niche, leverage that fact. This home, for example, would be great for a cat lover.
Panelling is out. Consider covering yours if you can't paint over or remove. Anything is better than panelling, even letters pertaining to your legal matters.
Yes, these were all taken at the same house. I left out … (28 comments)
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humor: You Aren't in the Real Estate Business
- 09/30/10 12:55 AM
Paul Crego, my original broker and mentor, called costly mistakes "tuition in life." Maybe he knew that spin was far more empowering than my own on my goofs. He had another turn of the phrase when not such good things happened, and that was "now you are in the real estate business," as if those occurrence were rites of passage. He was right. They are. You aren't in the business until you get out there and get yourself exposed to good, the bad, and the ugly.
So, with tongue planted firmly in cheek, I'll run down how you aren't in the real … (157 comments)
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humor: Friday Funny- Sign of the Times
- 08/27/10 12:34 AM
Three real estate brokers were chatting after an association meeting about how slow business was. The subject of walk in business came up, and the first two expressed how long it had been since they last had a deal result from someone "walking in" off the street into their office.
The third broker however, said he just had a "walk in" and proceeded to tell how fast the transaction went. "The guy just walked in off the street, told me exactly what he wanted, and I was able to find it for him almost immediately, right at my desk. Fastest transaction of the year."
… (16 comments)
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humor: Who Says They Don't Have a Sense of Humor in Riverdale?
- 07/31/10 02:29 PM
… (5 comments)
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humor: My Suggestions For a New Real Estate Oath
- 06/05/10 02:32 AM
Jonathan Washburn has written a very good oath for licensees to aspire to, and, being the mischievous imp that I am, I have a few modest suggestions of my own to "raise the bar."
I will limit my voice mail greeting to 20 seconds or less, and if I do not, I will tell you what button to press to skip it (the infomercial amendment). I will update my photo every 10 years, 30 pounds, or cosmetic surgery, whichever comes first (the "she's not a hottie she's a granny" amendment). If I publish a property tax figure that is more than 5% lower than the actual amount, I will … (57 comments)
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humor: Top 10 Ways to Endear Yourself to Other Agents
- 09/04/08 02:34 PM
10. Abbreviate. This is especially useful when you have the room to write more in your remarks but you still feel the need to call a living room an LR and a master suite a mstr ste. It really makes for easy reading when each sntce has mltple abbrvtns. Way to sell!
9. Misspell.Nothing builds your credibility like refridgerator, especially when the error lasts 4 months and your MLS has spell check. And while I'm at it, thanks for keeping that picture of the house under a foot of snow. It's September; my clients were curious as to what the place … (3 comments)
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I am getting more into the Vine app lately. A "vine," well done, is a 6 second look into the window of another person's life. Vine is kind of like Instagram meets Twitter in video format. Vines are simply 6 second videos, but you'd be suprised at how well done many are. 
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