Amid the hustle and bustle of Northern Virginia, there’s one week a year where you can get a little country right in our urban back yard. The 2011 Arlington County Fair is August 10-14 at the Thomas Jefferson Community Center. The TJ’s grounds are transformed into a vibrant utopia, featuring yummy food, competitive exhibits, Midway rides, music, and my personal favorite… the racing piglets. In years past, I’ve had a Mr. Arlington booth at the indoor exhibit… which is an awesome place to learn about some of the stellar businesses in the Arlington community and pick up … (0 comments)
The man charged into the jewelry shop and slammed his fists angrily on the showcase. He then removed a watch from his pocket and shook it under the nose of the shop owner. "You said this watch would last me a lifetime," he yelled. "Yeah," said the owner. "But you looked pretty sick the day you bought it." This laugh courtesy of Aaron Seekford, your source for Arlington VA Homes. … (4 comments)
A high school student challenged a senior citizen, saying it was impossible for their generation to understand his. “You grew up in a different world,” the student said. “Today we have cell phones, jet planes, space travel, nuclear energy, iPods…” Taking advantage of a pause in the student’s argument, the elderly man said, “You’re right. We didn’t have those things when we were young... so we invented them. What are you doing for the next generation?” This laugh courtesy of Aaron Seekford, your source for Arlington VA real estate. … (7 comments)
How is your new job at the office?" asked one friend to another. “I’m not going back there.” "Why not?” asked the friend. “For many reasons,” he answered. “The sloppiness, the shoddy workmanship, the awful language – they just couldn’t put up with it." This laugh courtesy of Aaron Seekford, your source for Arlington Virginia real estate. … (3 comments)
An executive was interviewing a young woman for a position with a major Fortune 500 company. He wanted to learn something about her personality, so he asked, "If you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?"She responded with a grin, "The living one." This laugh courtesy of Aaron Seekford, your source for Arlington VA real estate. … (5 comments)
A guy goes to his doctor complaining that his arm hurts. The doctor rolls up the guy's sleeve and is surprised to hear the arm say, "Hey doc, could you lend me $50 over here? I'm desperate!" The doctor turns to his patient and says, "I see the problem. It's pretty obvious. Your arm is broke." This laugh courtesy of Aaron Seekford, your source for Arlington VA real estate. … (5 comments)
A farmer was milking his cow when he saw a fly enter the cow's left ear. After a couple of minutes, a fly popped out of the cow's udder and into the milk tin. Looking closely, the farmer was amazed to discover that it was the same fly that he'd seen go into the cow's left ear. The moral of the story? Sometimes things go in one ear and out the udder. This laugh courtesy of Aaron Seekford, your source for Arlington Virginia real estate. … (1 comments)
“Do you believe in life after death?” the teacher asked her student. “Yes, ma'am.” the student said. “Well, then, that makes everything just fine,” the teacher went on. “After you left early yesterday to go to your 'grandmother’s funeral,' she stopped in to see you." This laugh courtesy of Mr. Arlington, your source for Arlington Virginia real estate.
Scott goes to see his boss in the front office. “Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some heavy house cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.” “We’re short-handed, Scott,” the boss replies. “I can’t give you the day off.” “Thanks, boss,” says Scott. “I knew I could count on you!” This laugh courtesy of Mr. Arlington, your source for Arlington Virginia real estate.
The HR person at a major PR firm asked a young grad out of Princeton, “And what starting salary were you looking for?” The young grad said, “In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” The interviewer said, “Well, what do you think of a six-week vacation, 16 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching your retirement fund to 60% of your salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Porsche?” The young grad sat up straight and said, “Wow! Are you … (2 comments)
The passenger tapped the cab driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the sidewalk, and stopped centimetres from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mister, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologized and said he didn't realize that a little tap could scare him so much. The driver replied, "You're right. I'm sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my … (3 comments)
At a local coffee shop, a young lady was divulging her idea of the perfect husband to some of her friends. "The man I marry must be a light in the darkness. He must be musical, tell jokes, sing, and stay home at night!" An elderly lady overheard and chimed in, "Honey, if that's all you want, get a television!" This laugh courtesy of Mr. Arlington, your source for Arlington VA Homes. … (4 comments)
A motorist, after being bogged down in a muddy road, paid a passing farmer ten bucks to pull him out with his tractor. After he was back on dry ground he said to the farmer, "At those prices, I should think you would be pulling people out of the mud night and day." "I can't," replied the farmer. "At night, I haul water for the hole." This laugh courtesy of Mr. Arlington, your source for Arlington VA Homes. … (8 comments)
A husband comes home and sees his wife painting the living room, but she had her raincoat and her fur coat on. He asks her why in the world she has her coats on. She replies, "I read the can, and it said for best results put on two coats." This laugh courtesy of Mr. Arlington, your source for Arlington VA Homes. … (6 comments)
A college graduate is applying for a part-time job to help with his course fees. He applies to work in a supermarket and gets the job. The first day the manager tells him to sweep the floor. The graduate is furious and shouts, "Hey man, don't you know that I have several degrees in various areas of science and after seven years of going to school you ask me to sweep the floor???" The manager replied, "Oh sorry, I didn't know that. Here, pass me the broom and I’ll show you how … (1 comments)
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried a creative defense to get his client free. "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few paltry items. His arm is not technically himself, so I fail to see how you can punish the whole body for an offense committed only by his arm." "Well put," the judge replied with a grin. "Using that same logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. Your client can accompany the arm or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. … (4 comments)
Discussing the environment with his friend, Steve asked, "Which of our natural resources do you think will become exhausted first?" "The taxpayer," replied his friend. This laugh courtesy of Mr. Arlington, your source for Arlington VA Homes. … (4 comments)
A boy was having a lot of difficulty in Spanish class. To encourage him, his teacher said, "You'll know you're really beginning to get it when you start dreaming in Spanish." The boy ran into class excited one day, saying, "Teacher, teacher! I had a dream last night and everyone was talking in Spanish!" "Great!" said the teacher. "What were they saying?" "I don't know," the boy replied. "I couldn't understand them." This laugh courtesy of Mr. Arlington, your source for Arlington VA Homes. … (5 comments)
I'm a big Mac fan, so I found this one pretty funny. The next time you're in a Mac v. Windows debate, this line may prove to be the kicker. Enjoy! "Computers are a lot like air conditioners. They work fine until you start opening Windows." This laugh courtesy of Mr. Arlington your source for Arlington VA Homes. … (7 comments)
Steve Jobs and the chairman of Ford are arguing over which company is better. Steve Jobs boasts, "If cars grew in technology as fast as Apple computers did, we would be driving V-64 instead of V-8, our cars would get 500 miles to the gallon, the top speed would be mach seven. And the sticker price for a car would be $50." The Ford chairman replies, "Sure, but would you really want a car that crashes 3 times a day?" This laugh courtesy of Mr. Arlington, your source for Arlington VA Homes. … (9 comments)
Another Year... Another Arlington County Fair!
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