humor: A Woman's night time prayer
- 04/15/08 10:17 PM
One for the girls Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my shape to keep. Please no wrinkles, Please no bags And please lift my butt before it sags. Please no age spots, Please no gray And as for my belly, Please take it away. Please keep me healthy, Please keep me young, And thank you Dear Lord, For all that you've done. … (18 comments)
humor: Inquiring minds want to know (#5)
- 04/14/08 02:40 AM
Why,why, why, are things the way they are? Whave you ever wondered... In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?And my FAVORITE......The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you. … (9 comments)
humor: I just can't see over the dashboard!
- 04/11/08 05:54 AM
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.' After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned … (11 comments)
humor: Inquiring minds want to know (#4)
- 04/10/08 01:24 AM
GOOD MORNING! Today's Why, why, why, brain teasers. Have you ever wondered why... Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner,then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? So... how is that to start your day off? Have a Great day, keep that old mind active by coming up with news ways or … (5 comments)
humor: Inquiring minds want to know (#3)
- 04/09/08 12:32 AM
It's time again... WHY, WHY, WHY, Inquiring minds want to know... Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "Lisp"?If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Have a great day! It's easier to sell Real Estate than ponder the questions of life... Unless it's with a drink in hand, a hot tub filled with bubble bath and friends tyring to figure it all out! Go get 'em! … (5 comments)
humor: Inquiring minds want to know... (2 in a series)
- 04/07/08 02:51 AM
Why, Why, Why... have you ever wondered, or been intrigued by... Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Some days we just have too much on our minds to ponder such trivial maters that change lives! … (5 comments)
humor: Inquiring minds want to know...
- 04/05/08 02:40 AM
Have some thoughts crossed your mind or ever wondered... Why, Why, Why Do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? … (7 comments)
humor: Inquiring minds want to know...
- 04/05/08 02:38 AM
Have some thoughts crossed your mind or ever wondered... Why, Why, Why Do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? … (4 comments)
humor: Raise your glass at the end of the day!
- 03/24/08 12:15 AM
The Value of a Drink 'Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drinkI feel shame Then I look into the glass and thinkabout the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopesand dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be outof work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this wine and let theirdreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.'~ Jack HandyWARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hellhappened to your bra and panties.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'I feel sorry … (4 comments)
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