grab bag: The Grab Bag - Weird Twitter - 05/06/18 06:56 AM
 
Welcome to another edition of The Grab Bag, an increasingly sporadic compendium of roadside debris from the Information Superhighway, curated to delight and amuse your senses, or to offend and disgust you - whatever. Today, our offerings come from the denizens of Weird Twitter, and you might take note that your voluntary reading of their twisted ravings makes you somewhat complicit.
 
Please enjoy responsibly.
 
__________________________________
 
If I lived under one of those Shakespearean kings, I'd be one of the guys plotting to kill him all the time, because, dude, SHUT UP for like two seconds.
@grimmreality
 
 
ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking, please … (14 comments)

grab bag: The Grab Bag - Birthday Weird Twitter - 03/18/18 09:38 AM
I'm overwhelmed with your good wishes this morning (Thanks, Praful, Ron & Alexandra for the Q&A mentions!) and felt that the only proper response would be a Grab Bag post to express my appreciation for everyone's thoughtfulness here, on FB and many e-mails - you have added a lot to an already special day!
 
Luckily, my Twitter account had some bookmarked tweets almost suitable for public consumption. As always, please enjoy responsibly.
 
🙉🙈🙊 🙉🙈🙊 🙉🙈🙊 🙉🙈🙊 🙉🙈🙊
 
If pigs could fly, I’d eat their wings.
@Carbosly
 
In retrospect, "because it tastes like bacon" probably wasn't the best answer to my toddlers question of why the dog … (36 comments)

grab bag: The Grab Bag - Weird Twitter Yet Again - 02/25/18 08:41 AM
 
Welcome to the Grab Bag, an occasional compendium of strangeness encountered while hitchhiking the Information Superhighway. Today, we have just barely enough material from Weird Twitter to perhaps make you laugh, or conversely, to unsettle those few of you who might be "normal". Please enjoy responsibly.
 _________________________________________
 
I slept with this guy who works at Netflix, which was pretty cool because afterwards he recommended other guys I may also like sleeping with.
@LeahKnauer
 
My identity got stolen but was found a few days later on an orphanage doorstep with a note that said "Nope.”
@Carbosly
 
In a dog eat dog world, the chocolate lab is the most … (19 comments)

grab bag: The Grab Bag - By Popular Demand - 01/28/18 08:35 AM
Welcome to the latest edition of the Grab Bag, provided today courtesy of your ceaseless nagging and whining.
 
It's quite the feeling to know that your AR legacy isn't all of your thoughtfully incisive industry analysis, the clarity of your commentary on the issues of the day, or the brilliant insights provided by your market reporting. Nope. It's because you repost weirdly subversive and borderline offensive tweets from a really questionnable corner of a disreputable website.
 
Well, guess what - that's a better deal, legacy-wise, than I usually get, so I'll happily take it, and in return, show my appreciation by gifting you … (17 comments)

grab bag: The Grab Bag - Trying Out Some Pondering - 12/29/17 10:50 AM

 
I ran across this video clip last week, and I thought it was a pretty funny take on video gaming. But maybe because I have spent some time over the last couple of months with a PS4 Dual Shock game controller, I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. As a matter of fact, it got me doing a lot of what my amigo Michael Jacobs would call "pondering".
 
Maybe it's just a guy goofing for the camera. It certainly works well as a jokey video. But what if it's not a joke? What if he's an ace player at … (13 comments)

grab bag: The Grab Bag - A New Holiday Tradition - 12/08/17 09:13 AM
I knew that after your kind comments and nice thoughts regarding my semi-retirement from AR, when I did finally manage to get back on here and contribute something, I needed it to be really good good. It took me a while, but I finally found something worthy of your attention.
 
Yeah, it's a recipe. But this recipe has the power to transform your special holiday dinners, it couldn't be easier to make, and I'm sure if you try it, it will become a cherished family tradition.
 
It's a short video, and I implore you - watch it until the end. It's the final … (38 comments)

grab bag: The Grab Bag - Phoning It In - 11/26/17 07:45 AM
Welcome to the Special Long Holiday Weekend Edition of the Grab Bag, where we deal with the issue of wasting a bunch of perfectly good blogging days on sloth, gluttony and yes, computer games, and are henceforth caught with nothing to offer other than old tweets pulled from the cobwebbed archives of a past, funnier time.
 
Here's your Weird Twitter, then.
 
Fifth Third Bank? I don't think you understand how to number things, which is something I generally look for in a bank.
@RowdyBowden
 
"Do what you love" -Rich people
@SCbchbum
 
A reality show where celebrities compete and we get to vote them down to only ONE … (17 comments)

grab bag: The Grab Bag - Marble Racing!! - 11/05/17 10:11 AM
Welcome to the Grab Bag, our occasional finds from internet dumpster diving. We have a varied and questionable selection for your consideration this week, and might not have posted anything at all except that this first item deserves your immediate attention:
 
Marble Racing
 
Okay, I thought this was one of the stupidest things I've ever seen, and clicked on it just to have something new to mock. But you know what? I got sucked in, and you may too. It is stupid, but apparently it's a thing - there's YouTube channels and fans, crashes just like NASCAR, and I found myself rooting for … (30 comments)

grab bag: The Grab Bag - Sorry, Just Some Weird Twitter - 10/22/17 08:50 AM
Welcome to this weekend's edition of The Grab Bag, an inconsistently delivered compendium of questionable content culled from obscure corners of the internet by malignant trolls intent on causing unrest and confusion. This week's attempt to unsettle you comes from the disreputable neighborhood of cyberspace known as Weird Twitter.
 
Please enjoy responsibly:
 
I don't understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What's next, more things?? That's how they get you
     - @KevinFarzad
 
PRO TIP: If you clean the trunk of your car with bleach at weird times in the middle of the night, your neighbors will leave you … (22 comments)

grab bag: The Grab Bag - Weird Tweet of the Year - 09/22/17 09:33 AM
I think Weird Twitter must be tiring a bit of the political stuff all the time - there was a pretty good haul of funny tweets last week. And for the very first time, the Grab Bag editorial staff was compelled to recognize one particular tweet with a special award.
 
Here's the Weird Tweet of the Year (so far):
 
When you die, a carny helps you out of your human body, waits to see if you're going to throw up, then asks if you want to go again.
— @HMittelmark
 
 
And here's the rest of them:
 
somethin kinda neat i found out…if you ignore a problem … (24 comments)

grab bag: The Grab Bag - Weird Twitter for Kathy - 09/10/17 07:42 AM
 
Like many of you, I'm sitting here worrying about Kathy Streib and all of the others riding out Irma. Right now, there's not much the rest of us can do besides worrying, but I know that, for reasons probably best left unexplained, Kathy is a big fan of the Grab Bag and Weird Twitter. So to help her get through the next few hours - and hoping she still has an internet connection - here's the latest.
 
The rest of you can enjoy these too.
 
If Facebook Was Real
me: cool shirt Brian
Brian: thanks
[hours later, a knock at my door]
me: um yes?
Brian's Mom: I also … (34 comments)

grab bag: The Grab Bag - Weird Twitter Is Back! - 08/27/17 08:24 AM
Welcome to the Grab Bag, an occasional compendium of randomness encountered during my attempts to escape from reality by internet immersion. Weird Twitter has been a problematic source of relief in recent times, having been deluged with political humor, a theme with too much mileage variation for a group as mixed as we are. But patience and careful curation eventually provides enough content that, while potentially offensive, at least isn't politically offensive.
 
Please enjoy responsibly.
 
 
[beach]
Me: if a shark stops moving it will die
Wife: for the last time you can't kill a shark with a stop sign
Me: it's the law, Diane
— @fro_vo
 
Interviewer: congrats … (21 comments)

grab bag: The Grab Bag - End of Discussion - 07/16/17 08:54 AM
There's no way this should ever even been a question, much less still be one for a small minority of misguided individuals incapable of seeing the obvious and oblivious to the inconvenience they visit on others by willfully ignoring common sense.
 
This should settle it for good, at least for the record.
 
(24 comments)

grab bag: The Grab Bag - Monster Long Weekend Edition - 07/02/17 06:48 AM
Courtesy of some very productive meanderings along the Information SuperHighway, the Grab Bag is loaded with goodies this week, perfect for a long weekend's browsing and hopefully a laugh or two.
Enjoy - and have a great 4th of July!
 
Cat House
You never know who your next client could be. It might be a cat. Hey, it could happen - real estate is a crazy business. Here's a Century 21 High Country listing in Stanford Concho, Arizona that might be the perfect fit if that ever happens. Check it out!
 
Photograph via Century 21 High Country
 
 
Headline of the Century (so far)
Offered without further comment:
 
 
 
McMansion … (16 comments)

grab bag: The Grab Bag - Laugh A Little - 06/11/17 09:10 AM
Here it is Sunday again, and I can't bring myself to inflict yet another market report on the masses yearning for a bit of weekend diversion. Weird Twitter - along with most of the rest of the internet - is still pretty much broken by politics, but I have spared no effort in digging up a few good non-political tweets for your reading pleasure.
 
Please enjoy these responsibly.
 
 
Spaceman: So. This is space. The final frontier.
Double Spaceman: So. This is space. The final frontier.
— @G_Faylor
 
 
REAL ESTATE AGENT: so there are great schools in this neighborhood
ME: checking restaurants in the delivery area on … (21 comments)

grab bag: The Grab Bag - Mother's Day Edition - 05/14/17 07:11 AM
Welcome to yet another edition of the Grab Bag, this week featuring Weird Twitter.
 
Full disclosure - there are no Mother's Day tweets below - that was just a cynical and exploitative move to get your eyeballs on here, so if that's really why you clicked on this, you're out of luck. Rather than whine or complain about it, why don't you give your mom a call and tell her how much she means to you - she'll really appreciate it. Or if you're a mom, give yourself a pat on the back - you deserve it.
 
Meanwhile, here's the best we could … (22 comments)

grab bag: The Grab Bag - Some Short Videos & Teen Cool - 04/09/17 07:09 AM
The Editors and Staff of the Grab Bag would like to offer their humble apology for today's weak-ass offering - laziness, a lack of advance planning and a dearth of non-political content continue to plague our commitment to bring you only the finest in timely weird humor. But this is what we got, and what we're going with.
Deal with it!

The Unexpected
Here are three short videos from the very clever Japanese artist Daihei Shibata on Vimeo:
 




 
E-mail
Next up, a look at what it would be like if we used e-mail style conventions in our spoken interactions:
 
 

Don't Be Cruel
I realize many of … (22 comments)

grab bag: The Grab Bag - Weird Twitter - 04/02/17 07:36 AM
Welcome to the Grab Bag, an occasional compilation of roadside detritus from the Information SuperHighway©. For your edification today, we have some Weird Twitter, courtesy of those few folks who are still working on the funny stuff instead of politics.
 
Please enjoy this humor responsibly.
 
The little angel on my shoulder was last seen packing his suitcase, muttering "I'm not paid enough to deal with this shit."
— @Carbosly
 
Your trial as a PERSON has expired. Continue as...?
-Dirt
-Classroom skeleton
-Ghost that is mad you redecorated its house
— @shariv67
 
Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people … (27 comments)

grab bag: The Grab Bag - Weird Twitter, While It Lasts - 03/05/17 09:26 AM
It's getting harder and harder to find appropriate Weird Twitter content for The Grab Bag. All the funny people are trapped in politics and while some of that is pretty funny, I don't have the energy or courage to try to curate a balanced political mix that won't piss everyone off.
 
I may have to take a long sabbatical until humor is restored. Anyhow, here's the best I could come up with for this week:
 
CONGRATULATIONS!
YOU'VE COMPLETED LIFE!
YOU PLAYED AS: white male
CHOOSE ONE:
A) PLAY TUTORIAL AGAIN
B) TRY A HARDER SETTING
@davedittell
 
My refrigerator just walked to my bedroom, opened the door, stood there and … (26 comments)

grab bag: The Grab Bag - President's Day, Art and Weird Twitter - 02/19/17 07:32 AM
Welcome to another edition of the Grab Bag. Today, we have for your edification a bit of history, a brief gallery tour if you don't mind clicking on a few links, and some slim pickings from Weird Twitter, where it's becoming harder each day to find the funny people being funny.
Enjoy!
 
President's Day
 
 
 
Gallery Walk
Here are links to the web galleries of a few artists who are doing some unusual things:
 
Simon Stålenhag - Very strange but compelling visions of a dystopian future.
 
Milos Rajkovic - Bizarre animations
 
Don Kenn - Monster drawings on sticky notes
 
 
Weird Twitter
the internet's slogan could be "if you wanna know something, … (25 comments)

 
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Dick Greenberg

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