joke: I'm Missing the Humor Retention Gene!
- 01/19/11 01:46 PM
Some of the funniest jokes I have ever heard, I heard while Charlie was in the Marine Corps. And, as you might imagine, there were some “”off color” jokes every now and then, but they were always told in jest and from good hearts who meant no harm. The thing is though…I cannot remember a single, solitary one. Not even one. I have always been like that…I just don’t remember jokes – no matter how good they are! I say I’m going to write it down when I hear a good one, but by the time I get to … (10 comments)
joke: HOW MANY MEXICAN RESTAURANTS CAN THERE POSSIBLY BE???
- 09/18/10 09:57 AM
It never ceases to amaze me how a Mexican restaurant can afford to stay in business around here. First of all, we're talking about a city with a population of about 40,000. And at last count, there were like--30,000 Mexican restaurants! I mean, good lord! And you cannot drive around the entire area twice without seeing a new one either going up or going in where something else used to be. It is AMAZING. I swear they BREED during the night. And they have really clever Hispanic names that leave us stupid Caucasians perplexed...names like "El Cactus." ... ... ... El Cactus? Seriously? What the Hell??? Doesn't that … (6 comments)
joke: Not For Real
- 09/13/10 04:58 PM
Ever have one of those days when you knew you should have written an article before 11:55pm to beat a 12 midnight deadline, but you just didn't do it? Yeah. Well, here I am and it's 11:59pm and I got nothin.' Oh well...worse things have happened. And I guess the sun will still come up tomorrow. Right? Of course it will. So, that said, I guess I will retire into the wee hours knowing I have blogged, but not well. I hate when that happens. Not for real though. ; ) … (6 comments)
joke: ARE YOU HAPPY NOW???
- 09/12/10 03:21 PM
TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!! Seriously? What does that even MEAN? Of COURSE today is the first day of the rest of my life! I mean, as opposed to WHAT? The third Sunday of the rest of my life? The fifth day of the seventh month of the forty-sixth year of the rest of my life? Naturally, the phrase is intended to summon forth hope and inspiration--I get that--but it just sounds so ridiculous that I have a hard time taking it seriously. It's like saying something in a different context like, "If you believe you … (14 comments)
joke: EWW!!! DON'T USE THOSE!!! THOSE ARE OLD AND DIRTY!!!
- 09/09/10 03:44 PM
So I'm at the market today to pick up a few groceries, and I observe something in the parking lot that I have seen happen hundreds of times before. It is a conditioned behavior that must be so deep rooted in our psyche we don't even know that we do it...either that or we simply lie to ourselves (liar, liar) in order to have the fantasy that awaits us on the INSIDE of the store! Here's what I mean... You know those 'corrals' they place in parking lots of markets and Targets and most all stores that have shopping carts? They are 1) … (6 comments)
joke: I DO NOT STEAL COOKIES!!! (stop looking at me)
- 09/08/10 03:31 PM
You ever go into a grocery or market and, in the course of your shopping, come across something you felt you simply MUST taste? Except it was pre-packaged and you would have had to open it to taste the product inside? Like cookies, for instance? And have you ever gone ahead and opened the cookies and tried one??? And then found out that you LOVED the cookies so you decided to buy a bag??? Except that you didn't buy THAT bag for two reasons: 1) it had already been opened and 2) the skinny little...uh...cashier...would have judged you if you had presented … (9 comments)
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