funny: I Erupted in Laughter after reading this.
- 03/01/10 12:21 AM
A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door. When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, Genesis 3:10." Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter. Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at … (7 comments)
funny: If this doesn't make you laugh, then you may be a lost cause
- 03/08/09 05:13 PM
Here are some humorous quotes from Al Gore. Let me know if they struck you as funny. "We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur." -- Vice President Al Gore, 9/22/97 ------------------------------------------------------------------ "The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century." -- Vice President Al Gore, 9/15/95 ------------------------------------------------------------------ "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." -- Vice President Al Gore ------------------------------------------------------------------ "I have made … (13 comments)
funny: Read this to see how good you are at Math. Kind of funny.
- 02/22/09 03:05 PM
I find these numbers to be interesting: The population of this country is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school, which leave 48 million to do the work. Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government.This leaves 19 million to do the work. 4 million are in the Armed Forces,which leaves 15 million to do the work. Take from the total the 14.8 million people who work for State and City Government and that leaves 200,000 to do the work. There are 188,000 in hospitals,so … (1 comments)
funny: Will the whole world be unemployed losing 500 million jobs per month?
- 02/04/09 08:39 AM
I am sorry, but I found this to be very amusing. I am no fan of Nancy Pelosi, but she is good for a laugh or two sometimes. Like for example, in this clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8hMJVXt09E I know that she probably didn't mean to say 500 million jobs lost a month or maybe she did. But as the Speaker of The House, the Madam Speaker should either stick to the script that she is given or get a clue. She really doesn't dignify the office when she makes such a ridiculous mistake like that. Talk about scare tactics, this takes the cake. … (6 comments)
funny: Hope this doesn't make too many people upset. It is kind of funny though
- 01/22/09 04:08 PM
Here is some light political humor: The difference between Republicans & DemocratsA Republican and a Democrat were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person.The republican gave the homeless person his business card and told him come to his business for a job. He then took twenty dollars out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person. The Democrat was very impressed, and when they came to another homeless person, He decided to help. He walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office. He then reached into the Republicans pocket … (16 comments)
funny: Helpful Management Tips that many will be able to identify with.
- 01/18/09 03:05 PM
I hope you enjoy: 1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 5:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing. 2.If it's really a "rush job," run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. 3.Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are. 4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books or supplies, don't open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and … (7 comments)
funny: If you need 20 fun things to do in your office, this will give you ideas.
- 01/18/09 02:52 PM
Here are some helpful tips for you: 1. Remove the jug from the water cooler and drink from it periodically, bragging that you 'got the last one.' 2. Photocopy things around the office, such as lamps, potted plants, staplers, etc. If someone asks about it, just say 'You never can be too careful.'3. Turn your radio up full blast and sing along loudly with the song. Invite others to join you.4. Pretend to be hypnotized by someone's screen saver.5. Go into someone's office, grab a book from their shelves, and begin reading it aloud to them. If they interrupt, give them … (5 comments)
funny: Do you have an HMO? You will find this to be interesting.
- 01/18/09 02:49 PM
This is not a good sign if any of these apply: 1.Staff physicians include Dr. Who, Dr. Kevorkian, and Dr. Demento. 2.Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle. 3.Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters. 4.With your last HMO, your birth control pills didn't come in different colors with little "M's" on them. 5.Your "primary care physician" is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month. 6. Directions to your doctor's office include, "take a left when you enter the trailer park." 7. Your kidney transplant surgery is held up while your surgeon awaits his arraignment for grave robbing. 8. The only … (2 comments)
funny: Probably do not hear many Appraiser jokes, but here you go. It is the Sunday joking hour.
- 01/18/09 02:45 PM
I am still laughing at this one. Way to funny. A newbie balloonist is blown off course and is forced to land. He isin a field close to a road, but has no idea where he is. He sees acar coming along the road and hails it. The driver gets out and theballoonist says, "Howdy! Can you tell me where I am?""Yes, of course," says the driver. "You have just landed in yourballoon, and with this wind you have obviously been blown off course.You are in the top field on John Dawson's farm, 12 miles from Albury. John will be plowing … (6 comments)
funny: If all Appraisals were this easy, we would all be rich or in JAIL.
- 01/18/09 02:40 PM
I find this to be humorous, what are your thoughts? NEW IMPROVED SPEEDY APPRAISAL FORMCustomer Name:________________________________________Subject Property Address:____________________________________________________________Description of Subject Property and Neighborhood:Subject property is located in _______________________, a popular, well-maintained area that has enjoyed dramatic appreciation over the past year. Most buyers appeared to be unconcerned with size or overall utility of these homes, and seemed to be paying between $____________ and $____________, regardless of difference in appearance, condition, age, etc.Market Value Assessment:For the above reasons, we estimate the Market Value of the subject propertyon this date to be:$____________(Loan agents to fill in blanks with assistance of any real estate … (2 comments)
funny: I don't mean any harm with this joke
- 01/12/09 04:13 PM
I got a good chuckle out of this joke. A University of Georgia student was visiting a Yankee relative in Boston over the holidays. He went to a large party and met a pretty co-ed. He was attempting to start up a conversation with the line, "Where does you go to school?" The coed, of course, was not overly impressed with his grammar or southern drawl, but did answer his question. "Yale," she replied. The Georgia student took a big, deep breath and shouted, "WHERE DOES YOU GO TO SCHOOL?" … (6 comments)
Talk about taking the bull by the horns or something like that:
Okay, this is a bit weird on many levels:
It appears that they are really trying to get a point across:
It is quite possible that this fella has gone to far. He redefines the term Pinhead:
I am a pet lover, but this is going to far:
Not exactly what I expected. Probably need to be … (21 comments)
funny: A Bumper sticker is worth a thousand words. Pretty Funny.
- 01/08/09 03:21 PM
Here are some bumper stickers that I find to be amusing. Have you ever seen these? What are some funny ones you have seen? I love animals, they taste great.EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later. "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes." Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. The gene pool could use a little chlorine. Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. He who laughs last thinks slowest! Give me ambiguity or give me something else. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. Lottery: A tax on … (7 comments)
funny: You should probably do some more research before you make him a partner
- 12/29/08 02:12 PM
A very successful real estate broker had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my real estate office. All you have to do is go to the office every day and learn the business." The son-in-law interrupted, "I hate office. I can't stand agents." "I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well, then you'll work in the office and take charge of some the paperworks." "I hate paperworks," said the son-on-law. "I can't … (6 comments)
funny: Here is one Reason why you shouldn't see a Hypnotist. This is funny
- 12/23/08 03:06 PM
I got a pretty good chuckle out of this joke: The town fathers were looking for a way to increase attendance and participation at their regular meetings. One member suggested bringing in a hypnotist. The officials agreed, a famous hypnotist was hired, publicity distributed, and everyone was pleased. A few weeks later the meeting hall was packed, and the town's people sat fascinated as the hypnotist withdrew a pocket watch. The hypnotist began chanting... "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..." The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds … (6 comments)
funny: Have you ever wondered what Real Estate Office Lingo is? This is funny
- 12/19/08 01:14 PM
For those of you that have not been in the Real Estate Industry long, here you go: "SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE: " You'll need it to replace three people who just left. "PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST:" You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos. "REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS:" You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect. "GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:" Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do. "I'M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION:"I've used Microsoft Office. "I'M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE:" I pilfer office supplies. "MY PERTINENT … (1 comments)
funny: What would you do if business was this good. A must read
- 12/19/08 12:58 PM
I got a kick out of this one. IN A crowded elevator, one man asked another, "How's business?" "Last year we sold 500,000 houses, 700,000 farms and 750,000 schools," came the reply. "This year we ought to do equally well and, in addition, sell 1,200,000 garages." As the elevator descended, there was heavy silence for a moment. Then someone spoke up indignantly. "Sir," he said, "I'm in real estate, and those figures are preposterous!" He didn't know that the man boasting about his business was the marketing director of a major toy company Steven Wright www.stevensellsco.com Short Sale Experts
… (4 comments)
funny: This will help bring a smile to your face and definitely a laugh
- 12/13/08 01:02 PM
I thought this was a really funny story: This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.He immediately phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and George said no and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would … (8 comments)
funny: You might get a chuckle out of this joke. I did.
- 12/09/08 02:05 PM
I thought this was humorous: A guy walks into the real estate office and hands the broker his application. The broker begins to scan the sheet, and notices that the applicant has been fired from every real estate office he has ever worked for. "I must say," says the executive, "your work history is terrible. You've been fired from every real estate office." "Yes," says the man. "Well," continues the broker, "there's not much positive in that." "Hey!" says the guy as he pokes the application. "At least I'm not a quitter." Steven Wright stevenwwright@gmail.com www.stevensellsco.com … (7 comments)
funny: If you are caught sleeping on the job, this should help
- 12/08/08 02:34 PM
Excuses always come in handy, hope this helps. 10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to."8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the whiteout. You probably got here just in time!"7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"4. "Why did you … (1 comments)
This blog has relevant information for the Realtor on the go. I write about relevent things happening around the USA and in Colorado. If all else fails, I inject a bit of humor into my blog posts.
A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door. When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, Genesis 3:10." Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter. Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at … (7 comments)
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