A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the pastor said, 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up." "That's … (21 comments)
joke: Life as a Safety Engineer...
- 09/03/14 05:51 AM
Life as a Safety Engineer... A Seventy-two-year-old Safety Engineer recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, the doctor said he was doing "fairly well" for his age.
A little concerned about that comment, the Safety Engineer couldn't resist asking the doctor, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?" The doctor asked, "Well, do you smoke or drink beer?" "Oh no," He replied, "I've never done either." Then the doctor asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and BBQ ribs?" The HSE man said, "No, I've heard that all red meat is very unhealthful!" … (21 comments)
joke: Oilfield Joke: Need to hire a Drilling Engineer......
- 08/26/14 05:32 AM
Oilfield Joke: Need to hire a Drilling Engineer...... A big oilfield company was needing to hire a Drilling Engineer but had a problem as they had way too many candidates for the one position that was available. After interviewing each of them on a broad array of topics they needed to narrow down the group. The human resource director, who has PHD in Philosophy, come up with a one question test. The prospective Drilling Engineers were all gathered into a meeting room. The HR Director picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: “Using everything you have … (17 comments)
joke: Joke: He Made Tool Pusher
- 08/20/14 04:14 AM
Oilfield Joke: He Made Tool pusher.... This old boy from South Louisiana was working a derrick in Brazil. Every day on his tower he would see this monkey watching him from a tree, so he started bringing up bananas and feeding the monkey. It didn't take long and that monkey was in the derrick with him. He taught the monkey how to rack pipe. After a few days the derrick hand didn't have to do anything. The monkey was doing it all. The company hired the monkey (because he worked for bananas) and the rig hand got laid off. He went back … (25 comments)
joke: A Night of Hard Drinking: A Joke
- 08/05/14 12:45 AM
A Night of Hard Drinking: A Joke Two hard working rough necks left the bar after a long night of drinking at a back woods bar and got into their truck. Jed was driving and he started it up. After a couple of minutes of driving, an old man's face appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly. Jake screamed, "Look at the window. There's an old ghost's face there!" Jed stomped on the accelerator to speed up, but the face stayed in the window. Jake rolled his window down part way and, scared out of his wits, said, "What … (33 comments)
joke: Golfing: You need ALL the story
- 06/18/14 02:21 AM
A young salesman, who was also an avid golfer, found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man, since they were both golfing alone. Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him. To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far but plodded along consistently and didn't … (8 comments)
Several days ago as I left a meeting at our church, I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized, I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My wife, Diane, has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. Her theory is that the car will be stolen. As I burst through … (11 comments)
joke: Spanish vs English
- 01/03/12 01:44 AM
Spanish vs English A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.' 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.' A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of … (10 comments)
While creating wives, God promised man that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world.
Then He made the earth round.
I am sure the same can be said about men, but I am the one postings, so I get to pick! :-)
… (6 comments)
joke: Which Professional Sport?
- 10/20/11 03:16 AM
36 have been accused of spousal abuse 7 have been arrested for fraud 19 have been accused of writing bad checks 117 have directly or indirectlybankrupted at least 2 businesses 3 have done time for assault 71 repeat 71 Cannot get a credit card due to bad credit 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges 8 have been arrested for shoplifting 21 currently are defendants in lawsuits, And 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year Can You guess which organization this is? NBA Or NFL Or MLB Or NASCAR ????????? Give up yet? Neither, it's … (7 comments)
joke: Out of the Mouths of Children (Part II)
- 09/08/11 05:56 AM
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year old students. After explaining the commandment to 'honor' thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?' Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest child of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill!'
This One Had to Hurt (Mentally) One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking … (4 comments)
joke: Who Does the Baby Look Like?
- 08/17/11 04:04 AM
Last week in my youngest son's Sunday school class his teachers are showing off pictures of their first grandchild. The picture is of mom and dad holding the baby. The grandparents asked this question: Who Does the Baby Look Like? You get the usual responses: The Mom The Dad I see both Doesn't matter, just cute Not my kid! (He takes after me!) My 8 year old: I think he looks like his grandfather! Beaming Grandfather: Why do you say that? My 8 year old: Because neither one of you has hair!
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