maurice cohn's (vipermoe) Blog

You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?" Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the ...

In the line at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.   The woman apologized to her and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in my day." The clerk responded, "That's our problem today...

Junior had just received his brand new drivers license. To celebrate, the whole family trooped out to the driveway and climbed into the car for his inaugural drive. Dad immediately headed to the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of sce...

A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem. The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shout...

Ensign Montgomery, newly graduated Annapolis, is holding morning muster. " Jackson ?" "Here!" "KIBBEY?" "Yo." "STEPHENS?" "Present, sir." "Robbins?""Yo." "SEEBACK?" (Nothing) "SEEBACK?!" (Still nothing) "DAMMIT, SEEBACK!" This is when the chief quietly tells the ensign, "Turn the paper over, sir."

A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said, "I want to be a movie star." Tall, handsome, and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials. The agent asked, "What's your name?" The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian." The agent said, "Sir, I hate to t...

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, He paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the ...

Eileen and her husband Bob went for counseling after 25 years of marriage.When asked what the problem was, Eileen went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, ...

Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby.The nurse brings out a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy.'Congratulations,' says the nurse to the new parents... 'Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?' The puzzled father look...

A beautiful girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She's laid on a hospital trolley bed with nothing on, except a sheet over her. The nurse pushes the trolley down the corridor towards the operating room, where she leaves the girl on the trolley outside, while she goes in to check whether ev...