maurice cohn's (vipermoe) Blog

An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, ta...

A Drunk man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river.He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher.The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol whereupon he asks the drunk'Are...

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm...

  Top Signs That You're Too Old to Trick or Treat ... 10. You get winded from knocking on the door. 9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you. 8. You ask for high fiber candy only. 7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over. 6. People say, "Wha...

A couple was invited to a swanky costume party. Unfortunately, the wife came down with a terrible headache and told her  husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need for his ...

At a wine merchant's, the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new oneto employ.A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position.The Managing Director of the factory wondered how to send him away.They gave him a glass to drink.He tried it and said,"It's a ...

    A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives, when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English. So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief...

  The Life Cycle I think the life cycle is all backwardsYou should start out dead and get it out of the way.Then, you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.You get kicked out for being too healthy; go collect your pension, then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first...

An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. It is a horrible lie and one that a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand...

A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time. He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"