| 1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow. 2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail. 3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all. 4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs. 5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water. 6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night? 7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without. 8 Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks? 9 Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job. 10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car. 11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity. 12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number. 13. Think about this: No one ever says "It's only a game." when his team is winning. 14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap. 15. Be careful reading the fine print There's no way you're going to like it. 16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket. 17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, there'll be thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? 18. Do you also realize that in about 40 years, RAP music will be the Golden Oldies!? 19. Money can't buy ha ppiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo. 20. After a certain age, if you don't wake up with an ache in at least a few joints, you are probably dead. |
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