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Hello! Nice to Meet You. Will you Marry Me?

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with MBA Broker Consultants CalBRE Broker #00983670

Don't you hate it when you're at a Chamber of Commerce mixer, and that agressive marketing rep (or pushy salesperson) won't leave you alone!  It's like, "Hello, my name is Alexis.  Will you buy my product?"  They proceed to tell you how great their business is.  You're not interested right now.  Then they resort to begging for your business.  That is a total turn-off.  If you were even considering their company's product, they just blew it. 

We don't come up to a new acquaintance and immediately ask him/her to marry us -- so why do we try this brutally direct approach in business?  It's time to get up to speed on today's new business model.

Would you do this?

  1. Meet a new person for the first time.
  2. Ask him/her to marry you.

NO WAY!  That is ridiculous!!!  Here's the social process we usually follow before asking someone to marry us:

  1. Meet a new person for the first time.
  2. Try to impress each other.
  3. Build relationship over a period of time.
  4. Agree on common values, goals.
  5. Commit to each other.
  6. Finally, ask him/her to marry you.

Along the lines of "Hello!  Nice to Meet You.  Will you Marry Me?", here's yesterday's outdated business model:

  1. Connect with a new person.
  2. Ask him/her to do business with you.

If it doesn't work for social relationships, why would the 1-2 punch model work for business relationships?  It doesn't!  Here's today's new business model:

  1. Connect with a new person.
  2. Give help.
  3. Provide value.
  4. Earn trust.
  5. Finally, ask for business.

People do business with folks they (1) Know (2) Like (3) Trust.  How do we get to build that trust?  Through developing a long-term mutually beneficial relationship.  By offering value and giving FIRST.  In BNI, this is known as the "giver's gain" philosophy.

Some of today's non-pushy sales & marketing ideas include:

  • Find out their needs/interests
  • Cultivate relationship
  • Listen
  • Offer assistance
  • Incubation period
  • Ask for referrals
  • Networking
  • Gift
  • Keep in touch
  • Be accessible
  • Care
  • Ask permission
  • Responsive
  • Offer suggestions
  • Be available
  • Help them achieve their goals
  • Serve
  • Give a personal testimony
  • Share
  • Be resourceful
  • Give referrals

What are some ways that you've noticed business has changed from the Good Ol' Boys network to the Relationship-Cultivating model?

Join my NEW group for professionals who work from their home office at http://activerain.com/groups/virtualoffice

Regina P. Brown
Broker, Realtor®, e-Pro
Author of eBook "Stop Foreclosure Fast: Solutions to Save your House"

Text copyright © 2008 R.P. Brown, All Rights Reserved

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Posted by

Regina P. Brown
Broker, Realtor®, M.B.A., e-Pro, GREEN
California DRE # 00983670
www.CalCoastCountry.com

                

Text copyright © 2011-2018 R.P. Brown, All Rights Reserved

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape  

Irene Tron
Valparaiso, IN

Regina,
You're not going to believe this but I do have friends who met and married exactly how you described.  My friend (let's call him Joe) Joe saw this beautiful female (Jane) and went up to her and said "Hi, my name is Joe. What are you doing this weekend?  Will you marry me?"

Well, they didn't get married that weekend but they did a year later.   Now 40 years later they are still happily married.  I would not recommend for anyone to do this but it has worked for them. 

Great post. 

Apr 07, 2009 01:33 AM
Shirley Parks
Sands Realty 210-414-0966 - San Antonio, TX
Broker, 210-414-0966, San Antonio TX Real Estate

Hi Regina, I love this post...   The new approach is so much better than the old one!

Apr 07, 2009 02:28 AM
Betina Foreman
WJK Realty - Austin, TX
Realtor, C.N.E., with WJK REALTY

This is a great post. It is a prime example of what people do wrong in this biz. Relationships take time, patience is the key!

Apr 07, 2009 03:31 AM
Stephanie Davis
The Boulevard Company - Charleston, SC
Broker Associate and REALTOR®

Regina - How do you know when you're being too "soft"? My problem is not knowing how to ask for the business once the relationship is there.

Apr 07, 2009 04:22 AM
Regina P. Brown
MBA Broker Consultants - Carlsbad, CA
M.B.A., Broker, Instructor

Hi my AR friends, thank you for stopping by to read & comment!  Since you liked my blog so much, now will you marry me?  He he.  This is a great reminder for all of us to cultivate our business relationships.

Apr 07, 2009 05:08 AM
Regina P. Brown
MBA Broker Consultants - Carlsbad, CA
M.B.A., Broker, Instructor

Stephanie, there is a blog I posted a while back from Starr Hall's advice, she says to ask for their business after the 3rd contact.  Then keep asking after that, but be subtle!  ;)

Apr 07, 2009 05:08 AM
Michael S. Mackey
CENTURY 21 All Islands - Mililani, HI
REALTOR ABR, CRS, GRI, RSPS

Nice post Regina! I plan on asking you to marry me next week!

Apr 07, 2009 05:30 AM
JL Boney, III
Coldwell Banker - Columbia, SC
Columbia, SC Real Estate

I take a very laid back approach to things. I don't like pushy people, so I don't push people myself.

Apr 07, 2009 08:36 AM
Ann Allen Hoover
RE/MAX Advantage South - Hoover, AL
CDPE SRES ASP e-PRO Realtor - Homes for Sale - AL

Words of wisdom.......I sure wish everybody would recognize this!

Apr 07, 2009 08:52 AM
Melissa Zavala
Broadpoint Properties - Escondido, CA
Broker, Escondido Real Estate, San Diego County

Cute post, Regina . . . but I think you already are married ;-) Thanks for the tips. I look forward to earning your trust and touching base with you soon.

Apr 07, 2009 11:53 AM
Nate Rowe
Oakstone Properties, Homes in Richmond VA - Richmond, VA
Realtor, Homes in Richmond VA

I am never pushy.  I want people to want to work with me and not feel forced to.  I hate pushy people.  Thank you for sharing and I wish you the best.

Apr 07, 2009 03:47 PM
Regina P. Brown
MBA Broker Consultants - Carlsbad, CA
M.B.A., Broker, Instructor

Melissa, you're right, I am married.... and wouldn't want to do it again!  We'll talk later this week about bringing your Short Sale Expeditor workshop to San Luis Obispo area, they are excited to have you there.

Apr 08, 2009 02:31 AM
Charles Buholzer
Buholzer Enterprises - Gift and Incentive Consultant - Vancouver, BC
Home Closing Gift Consultant

This is a great post that applies not only in business, but in building relationships with people in general.

Apr 08, 2009 08:00 AM
Michael S. Mackey
CENTURY 21 All Islands - Mililani, HI
REALTOR ABR, CRS, GRI, RSPS

BTW, I was just kidding! Lame attempt at being humorous. I don't like pushy people either.

Apr 08, 2009 10:19 AM
Jim Frimmer
HomeSmart Realty West - San Diego, CA
Realtor & CDPE, Mission Valley specialist

So, basically, you're saying that the old-fashioned models are still supposed to work? LOL

We live in such a fast-paced world that everyone seems to expect the MeGSEBB* model to be the standard.

*MeGSEBB: pronounced meg-seb. The little e is there for a reason which you'll understand momentary. The acronym, which comes via my marketing guru, stands for

  • Meet
  • Greet
  • Seat
  • Eat
  • Buy
  • Beat it.

Usually it takes no more than an hour. Those who practice it are usually people for whom it is always about "Me," never the other person, never mutual.

Apr 08, 2009 10:41 AM
Regina P. Brown
MBA Broker Consultants - Carlsbad, CA
M.B.A., Broker, Instructor

Michael, thanks I love your humor!  ;)

Jim, that is a cute little analogy, and true too!  THANKS for sharing.

Apr 08, 2009 11:30 AM
Susan Neal
RE/MAX Gold, Fair Oaks - Fair Oaks, CA
Fair Oaks CA & Sacramento Area Real Estate Broker

Hi Regina - A great book that teaches a similar message is "Endless Referrals" by Bob Burg.  When I first moved to Northern California, knowing no one, I joined the Chamber of Commerce, donated door prizes to the monthly raffle at the Chamber luncheons, and gathered as many cards as I could.  I asked each person what they did, asked obout their business and how I could help direct business to them.  I followed up by sending cards to each person I met with my photo on the note.  The next month, I had people who were previously strangers bringing other folks over to introduce them to me.  I should probably do a post about this because this is just a quick summary of one chapter in the book.

Apr 09, 2009 06:01 AM
Regina P. Brown
MBA Broker Consultants - Carlsbad, CA
M.B.A., Broker, Instructor

Susan, I would love to see that post!

Apr 09, 2009 06:26 AM
Christine Donovan
Donovan Blatt Realty - Costa Mesa, CA
Broker/Attorney 714-319-9751 DRE01267479 - Costa M

I think that Web 2.0 allows a lot of this by giving people a chance to get to you know us without being pushy or aggressive.

Apr 12, 2009 04:30 PM
Regina P. Brown
MBA Broker Consultants - Carlsbad, CA
M.B.A., Broker, Instructor

Christine, I agree that e-conversations are a great way to start developing a good working relationship...

 

Apr 12, 2009 04:38 PM