LOL FRIDAY: Stock Market Terms

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Buyers' Choice Realty

 

CEO -Chief Embezzlement Officer.

 

CFO- Corporate Fraud Officer.

 

BULL MARKET - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

 

BEAR MARKET - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

 

VALUE INVESTING - The art of buying low and selling lower.

 

P/E RATIO - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

 

BROKER - What my broker has made me.

 

STANDARD & POOR - Your life in a nutshell.

 

STOCK ANALYST - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

 

STOCK SPLIT - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

 

FINANCIAL PLANNER - A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

 

MARKET CORRECTION - The day after you buy stocks.

 

CASH FLOW- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

 

YAHOO - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

 

WINDOWS - What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

 

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

 

PROFIT - An archaic word no longer in use.

 

It's LOL FRIDAY on The Optimist Group.  Come join us and post something funny!

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its lol friday on the optimist group come join us and post something funny

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Ambassador
530,753
Mirela Monte
Buyers' Choice Realty - North Myrtle Beach, SC
Myrtle Beach Real Estate

Hannah:  It's 11pm here and I have to go to bed early.  Tomorrow will be another brutal day.  I'm getting my laughs in early...

Frank & Sharon:  I'm glad you like them!  Thank you!

Apr 09, 2009 03:29 PM #5
Ambassador
530,753
Mirela Monte
Buyers' Choice Realty - North Myrtle Beach, SC
Myrtle Beach Real Estate

Steve:  It hurts?  Tell me about it!

Apr 09, 2009 03:30 PM #6
Rainmaker
223,539
Brian Brumpton
Keller Williams Boise - Boise, ID
Boise Idaho Real Estate

I like the definition of a bull market.  Everyone is a genius when the market is up. 

Apr 09, 2009 03:31 PM #7
Rainer
116,822
Bo Hussung
Bell Title /Triserv LLC - Nashvle, TN

Mirela, I am rooling the floor and laughing. Thanks, I needed that

You are the best

Bo

Apr 09, 2009 04:20 PM #8
Rainmaker
249,534
Heather Chavez
Second Self Virtual Assistance - Caldwell, ID
Real Estate Virtual, Assistant (928) 692-3235

That's great, Mirela.  "Broker" and "Standard & Poor": that's about it!

Apr 09, 2009 04:56 PM #9
Rainmaker
1,204,974
Tony & Darcy Cannon
Aubrey and Associates Realty - Layton, UT
The C Team

Mirela, LOL!  That is too funny, thanks for posting it.

Apr 09, 2009 07:03 PM #10
Rainmaker
83,622
Randall Sandin
Carolina One Real Estate - Charleston, SC
843-209-9667 - Search for Charleston SC Real Estate

great Friday morning laughs - thanks

Apr 09, 2009 09:53 PM #11
Rainer
146,688
Caren Wallace
Premier Property Group LLC - Tualatin, OR
Portland Caren Real Estate

Mirela, These little snippets are very funny and the last one is so true.....profit is an archaic word!

Apr 09, 2009 11:24 PM #12
Rainer
157,179
Tom Boos
Sine & Monaghan Realtors, Real Living - Grosse Pointe Farms, MI
Providing the very best of service to Sellers and

It would be a lot funnier if it weren't SO TRUE.

Apr 10, 2009 01:42 AM #13
Rainmaker
686,240
Joseph D. Federico
Donahue Real Estate Co. - Canton, MA
Eastern Massachusetts Real Estate

Mirela-Thanks for starting my Friday with a good laugh.

Apr 10, 2009 01:42 AM #14
Rainmaker
175,619
Cynthia Bartch
Granville, OH

Hi Mirela, Spot on...these are so true. Thanks for the Friday laugh.

Apr 10, 2009 02:17 AM #15
Rainmaker
797,272
Robert Rauf
HomeBridge Financial Services (NJ) - Toms River, NJ

Mirela, I have been in a Bear Market for entirely TOOOO LONG!  Thanks for the Funny!  I did my duty and put up a few for Friday Fun, Now it is time to get my taxes fun.. (OH JOY!)

Apr 10, 2009 02:45 AM #16
Rainmaker
190,416
Kathleen Ann Pacheco-Corbett
(FIRST Exclusive Buyer's Office Providence-RI) - Providence, RI
Realtor, RI-MA, CEBA, Master, e-Pro, ABR, ABRM, GR

Mirela, What a great list of stock market terms. Thanks for started my Friday with some laughs, Have a great Easter weekend,

Happy Easter

 

Apr 10, 2009 05:41 AM #17
Rainmaker
70,607
Tom Ski
BeFirst Media Group - Lakeside, MT
Social Media Marketing, Online Radio

very insite full.  the truth in sheep clothing or wording. :-)

Apr 10, 2009 05:57 AM #18
Rainer
97,994
Lara O'Keefe
North Texas Home Finders - McKinney, TX

Mirela, I loved "bear Market!" Thanks for the Friday chuckle. I'll keep my eye out for something funny for next week ;-)

Apr 10, 2009 01:18 PM #19
Rainer
35,707
Ron Bridges
ERA Wilder Realty, Inc. - Sumter, SC

Thanks for the laughs Mirela.  Like Lara, I really liked the bear market. LOL

Apr 10, 2009 03:49 PM #20
Rainmaker
638,444
Maria Morton
Platinum Realty - Kansas City, MO
Kansas City Real Estate 816-560-3758

Mirella, my favorite definition is Cash Flow - right down the toilet! LOL

Apr 11, 2009 07:25 PM #21
Rainer
157,132
Sandy Childs
Keller Williams Realty - Spartanburg, SC
Realtor - Spartanburg, SC

I don't know which one is my favorite, I'm going to reblog this over to the KW agents so they can have a good belly laugh too. Thanks for sharing.

Apr 14, 2009 07:08 AM #22
Rainmaker
228,056
Gene Wunderlich
1st Action Real Estate - Murrieta, CA
Realtor & Legislative Liaison

Awright Mirela - turnabout is only fair. I've got to reblog this. Too funny.

Apr 16, 2009 12:02 PM #23
Rainmaker
588,565
Susan Neal
RE/MAX Gold, Fair Oaks - Fair Oaks, CA
Fair Oaks CA & Sacramento Area Real Estate Broker

Hi Mirela - This is truly funny.  I saw it over on Russel Ray's blog (he reblogged it from you), and enjoyed it, so I thought I'd come over and thank you directly for the good laugh.

Apr 16, 2009 03:52 PM #24
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Mirela Monte

Myrtle Beach Real Estate
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